My daughters father has voluntarily given up his legal/physical rights to our child, he does have visitation i am getting married next month and my fiance would like to adopt her given that i have sole legal and physical custody would we still need to get his consent for the adoption? he is extremely uncooperative and would never!
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I have sole legal&physical custody, do i need fathers consent for adop
- Thread Starter rubysmom
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mightymoose
Moderator
Does the father use his visitation time or has he abandoned the child?
If father it's still in the picture you will most likely need his consent.
If father it's still in the picture you will most likely need his consent.
Proserpina
Moderator
Yes, you will need either Dad's consent or the court's consent.
Sole legal and physical doesn't change that.
For a stepparent adoption, you actually need a stepparent. In other words..get married, stay married and show the courts that you're a stable family.
Sole legal and physical doesn't change that.
For a stepparent adoption, you actually need a stepparent. In other words..get married, stay married and show the courts that you're a stable family.
Proserpina
Moderator
And I'll go ahead and ask the unpopular question 
If you and your new husband get divorced, will you be okay with him having full custody and you paying child support to him?
Will new husband be okay with paying child support (if you had custody) for a child that's that's not his biologically?
A stepparent adoption is meant to be forever, and it needs to be discussed fully before you even think about doing it.
Also, if Dad still has visitation (court ordered), and he won't agree? There won't be any adoption.
If you and your new husband get divorced, will you be okay with him having full custody and you paying child support to him?
Will new husband be okay with paying child support (if you had custody) for a child that's that's not his biologically?
A stepparent adoption is meant to be forever, and it needs to be discussed fully before you even think about doing it.
Also, if Dad still has visitation (court ordered), and he won't agree? There won't be any adoption.
He was just granted visitation this month, he only filed for it after hearing I am getting married. So far out of the 4 visitation days he has had my daughter has called inconsolably crying asking to come home three times.
while it is an "unpopular" question it is more than reasonable!
If we were to get divorced and he were to get custody (unlikely but not impossible) I would at least know my daughter would be very well taken care of. I would also have no problem paying support, she is my child and will always need my support
He already takes care of the financial support her father is lacking so I'm sure he would pay support in the unlikely event of a divorce.
I agreed to visitation with father because although I do not desire a relationship with him it is still in the best interest of our daughter to form a relationship with him regardless of his difficult ways.
also, could I atleast change her last name to match my married name? I am sure he would not agree to that either.
while it is an "unpopular" question it is more than reasonable!
If we were to get divorced and he were to get custody (unlikely but not impossible) I would at least know my daughter would be very well taken care of. I would also have no problem paying support, she is my child and will always need my support
He already takes care of the financial support her father is lacking so I'm sure he would pay support in the unlikely event of a divorce.
I agreed to visitation with father because although I do not desire a relationship with him it is still in the best interest of our daughter to form a relationship with him regardless of his difficult ways.
also, could I atleast change her last name to match my married name? I am sure he would not agree to that either.
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mightymoose
Moderator
From what you are saying it seems adoption is out of the question. Without consent you won't get anywhere.
Having just awarded visitation to the father, adoption really isn't even an option.
Maybe in several years if dad drops out of the picture and is considered to have abandoned the child, but not now.
Having just awarded visitation to the father, adoption really isn't even an option.
Maybe in several years if dad drops out of the picture and is considered to have abandoned the child, but not now.
Proserpina
Moderator
No. That would be what is commonly called a "backdoor adoption".
You'll need to prove why it's in the child's best interest - and that isn't actually easy to do.
If you walk into court and say, for example, "Well, we all want the same last name" be prepared to be told "Fine - you and your new husband change your last names to match the child's last name".
You'll need to prove why it's in the child's best interest - and that isn't actually easy to do.
If you walk into court and say, for example, "Well, we all want the same last name" be prepared to be told "Fine - you and your new husband change your last names to match the child's last name".
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