Here's the deal....
I know this is a long read, but please, I need some help!
My x-wife and I have had a horrible divorce process . A week after we separated, she alleged that I sexually abused my son and my step daughter (all to gain custodial leverege) . There was nothing to verify her claim: pediatrician came up with no physical evidence, A 5 month long DHS investigation determined that the findings were 'NOT CONFIRMED' (of course!), child psychologist determined that, "based on my observation of that interaction, there is nothing to indicate a suspicion of child abuse." My attorney drafted a letter to her attorney asking that she agree to lift supervised visitation, since the DHS investigation was complete on Oct 1 and the child psych had written the letter on Sept 27. The ex wanted to continue her 'punishment' of me and refused, thus prolonging the supervision until the next scheduled court date (Nov 8). She is very hostile toward me and has done everything she can to 'punish' me.
She attempted to try this in her previous marriage: She subjected her daughter (then only 4 yr old) to a complete and invasive vaginal exam; nothing came of it. Unfortunately, we did not discover this until after the resolution conference, and could not use the info except to prompt her to agree to an out of court settlement. I agreed to her proposal, because I could not afford any more legal costs. This has cost me more than $18000 already because of my attorney's frequent contact with detectives, DA, DHS investigators, GAL, opposing counsel, therapists, etc, so I agreed to her having legal custody, us splitting the time equally for our 4 year old son, me paying 100% of child care, and writing her a check for 63.20 each month, and me getting a meager $2500 for the YEARS of mortgage payment for the house that we lived in. Her hostility is such that when we finalized the divorce, she chose to change her name (not back to her maiden, but back to her previous husband's). She has wiped out our son's saving account, but didn't touch her daughter's. I have since opened up an account for him with out her access.
This is sad for our son, who will have to live half of his time in an environment that promotes hostility toward his father.
Since the divorce was finalized, she has been in contempt on three items. She didn't pay off the van (in my name), she didn't give me the property specified in the property division settlement(not much stuff, but all I care about is the family photos and the memories of the kids and how it was before she went psycho), and she neglected to pay the one time monentary settlement by the date specified in the decree.
A friend informed me that althouogh I could file contempt, all she would have to do is make the payment, surrender the van, and claim that she didn't have the property. Then she would've purged tyhe contempt
Our son's primary caregiver had been me, prior to the separation. He suffered horribly during the 5 months of supervised visitation (crying all the time, separation anxiety, transition stress, etc). I lost more than 50 pounds during the first 60 days, became an emotional and psychological basket case, and my medical doctor could find no physical reason for the weight loss, so he attributed it to the stress of the situation. Our son's daycare facility has ostrocized me, treating me like I am some sort of perpetrator (of course they cannot, by law, deny me access to my son), because of what my ex-wife has done and she has told them. My mother, who was the supervisor of the visitation, suffered through this ordeal , as well (she is 72 years old and has had to be with my son and me every moment).
Oklahoma statute states that 'anyone who makes a report of child abuse in good faith is immune from criminal and civil prosecution'. My divorce attorney says that she does not do civil suit cases, but has said that in order to file a case like this it will cost me, tremendously, just to get it started, and that to prove that my ex was practicing recklessness and making the allegations with 'malice' would be difficult. Is it any wonder that (in Oklahoma) between 60% and 70% of divorce cases, the wife files abuse allegations? Because she knows that she cannot be held accountable for her lies!
The damages that My son, My mother, and I suffered were greater than ANY damages that I have had in the past.
She even went to the places of employment of two of my friends, told each of them I had molested my son, asked them if they knew of anything that could be used against me, and tried to solicit their testimonies against me. Of course, both of them told her no. One of them told her she was nuts!
She is an untreated sex abuse survivor herself, and from the info that I have gained from the S.A.I.D.S. site, this is typical of someone with BPD. She also abuses alcohol and drugs(at least pot). I know this because (sadly) sometimes I used with her.
I have since sobered up (14 months in AA), but my son tells me that, "Mommy smokes and drinks beer all the time!"
My questions are:
Can I get custody of my child since his mother is a drug user?
Voluntarily submit to a hair follicle test and demand the same from her?
Do I have a damage case against my ex?
Do I have a slander case against my ex?
Can I force her, through litigation, to write a letter retracting her false statements and actions?
Is there any way that I can have the DHS Central Abuse Registry take my name off their permanent list (I am a certified public school teacher)?
Can I have the physicians records ammended (my ex told the Dr about the alleged sexual abuse and he wrote her statements in our son's medical records) by HIPA?
Future employment opportunities may even be jeopardized! People that know about this treat me differently, even though they know that the allegations are unsubstantiated and unproven! I have a 'scarlet letter' attached to me now, for the rest of my life!
Can I sue her **S ?!?!?!
Your input would be greatly appreciated!
I know this is a long read, but please, I need some help!
My x-wife and I have had a horrible divorce process . A week after we separated, she alleged that I sexually abused my son and my step daughter (all to gain custodial leverege) . There was nothing to verify her claim: pediatrician came up with no physical evidence, A 5 month long DHS investigation determined that the findings were 'NOT CONFIRMED' (of course!), child psychologist determined that, "based on my observation of that interaction, there is nothing to indicate a suspicion of child abuse." My attorney drafted a letter to her attorney asking that she agree to lift supervised visitation, since the DHS investigation was complete on Oct 1 and the child psych had written the letter on Sept 27. The ex wanted to continue her 'punishment' of me and refused, thus prolonging the supervision until the next scheduled court date (Nov 8). She is very hostile toward me and has done everything she can to 'punish' me.
She attempted to try this in her previous marriage: She subjected her daughter (then only 4 yr old) to a complete and invasive vaginal exam; nothing came of it. Unfortunately, we did not discover this until after the resolution conference, and could not use the info except to prompt her to agree to an out of court settlement. I agreed to her proposal, because I could not afford any more legal costs. This has cost me more than $18000 already because of my attorney's frequent contact with detectives, DA, DHS investigators, GAL, opposing counsel, therapists, etc, so I agreed to her having legal custody, us splitting the time equally for our 4 year old son, me paying 100% of child care, and writing her a check for 63.20 each month, and me getting a meager $2500 for the YEARS of mortgage payment for the house that we lived in. Her hostility is such that when we finalized the divorce, she chose to change her name (not back to her maiden, but back to her previous husband's). She has wiped out our son's saving account, but didn't touch her daughter's. I have since opened up an account for him with out her access.
This is sad for our son, who will have to live half of his time in an environment that promotes hostility toward his father.
Since the divorce was finalized, she has been in contempt on three items. She didn't pay off the van (in my name), she didn't give me the property specified in the property division settlement(not much stuff, but all I care about is the family photos and the memories of the kids and how it was before she went psycho), and she neglected to pay the one time monentary settlement by the date specified in the decree.
A friend informed me that althouogh I could file contempt, all she would have to do is make the payment, surrender the van, and claim that she didn't have the property. Then she would've purged tyhe contempt
Our son's primary caregiver had been me, prior to the separation. He suffered horribly during the 5 months of supervised visitation (crying all the time, separation anxiety, transition stress, etc). I lost more than 50 pounds during the first 60 days, became an emotional and psychological basket case, and my medical doctor could find no physical reason for the weight loss, so he attributed it to the stress of the situation. Our son's daycare facility has ostrocized me, treating me like I am some sort of perpetrator (of course they cannot, by law, deny me access to my son), because of what my ex-wife has done and she has told them. My mother, who was the supervisor of the visitation, suffered through this ordeal , as well (she is 72 years old and has had to be with my son and me every moment).
Oklahoma statute states that 'anyone who makes a report of child abuse in good faith is immune from criminal and civil prosecution'. My divorce attorney says that she does not do civil suit cases, but has said that in order to file a case like this it will cost me, tremendously, just to get it started, and that to prove that my ex was practicing recklessness and making the allegations with 'malice' would be difficult. Is it any wonder that (in Oklahoma) between 60% and 70% of divorce cases, the wife files abuse allegations? Because she knows that she cannot be held accountable for her lies!
The damages that My son, My mother, and I suffered were greater than ANY damages that I have had in the past.
She even went to the places of employment of two of my friends, told each of them I had molested my son, asked them if they knew of anything that could be used against me, and tried to solicit their testimonies against me. Of course, both of them told her no. One of them told her she was nuts!
She is an untreated sex abuse survivor herself, and from the info that I have gained from the S.A.I.D.S. site, this is typical of someone with BPD. She also abuses alcohol and drugs(at least pot). I know this because (sadly) sometimes I used with her.
I have since sobered up (14 months in AA), but my son tells me that, "Mommy smokes and drinks beer all the time!"
My questions are:
Can I get custody of my child since his mother is a drug user?
Voluntarily submit to a hair follicle test and demand the same from her?
Do I have a damage case against my ex?
Do I have a slander case against my ex?
Can I force her, through litigation, to write a letter retracting her false statements and actions?
Is there any way that I can have the DHS Central Abuse Registry take my name off their permanent list (I am a certified public school teacher)?
Can I have the physicians records ammended (my ex told the Dr about the alleged sexual abuse and he wrote her statements in our son's medical records) by HIPA?
Future employment opportunities may even be jeopardized! People that know about this treat me differently, even though they know that the allegations are unsubstantiated and unproven! I have a 'scarlet letter' attached to me now, for the rest of my life!
Can I sue her **S ?!?!?!
Your input would be greatly appreciated!
