Cost incured by move?

[bayangel214]

I posted to this forum a few months ago and received great advice.

Long story short, dad agreed to (in writing) have kids transferred to school where I moved to in August. Much better school district, doesn't change his custody time, and it's 12 miles from their last school.

I gave him something he'd been asking for (a one-on-one night with each of the children each month).

Flash forward to 3 weeks into the new school year where the kids are doing great!!

Dad now wants me to pay his gas cost incurred from my move. He takes the children to school 2x a week. He wants $90/month in gas money.

Do I need to pay that? We've managed to stay out of court the past 6 years and I prefer to do that.

No child support is changing hands (he asked to stop paying me a year ago and I said ok). I pay $150/month for agreed to extracirricular activities for children. Dad said he can't afford to pay. Our MSA does state that those types of things should be split (dance class, soccer, equipment, etc)...but I haven't pushed it because I try not to sweat the small stuff!!

What should I do? I feel like it's right to pay for 1/2 of his added expense, but then I now think maybe I should be asking him to pay for 1/2 the dance classes, etc.

Honestly I think he'll always have something he's not happy about and every time I make a compromise with him, something new comes up.

Thank you!

 

[army judge]

I posted to this forum a few months ago and received great advice.

Long story short, dad agreed to (in writing) have kids transferred to school where I moved to in August. Much better school district, doesn't change his custody time, and it's 12 miles from their last school.

I gave him something he'd been asking for (a one-on-one night with each of the children each month).

Flash forward to 3 weeks into the new school year where the kids are doing great!!

Dad now wants me to pay his gas cost incurred from my move. He takes the children to school 2x a week. He wants $90/month in gas money.

Do I need to pay that? We've managed to stay out of court the past 6 years and I prefer to do that.

No child support is changing hands (he asked to stop paying me a year ago and I said ok). I pay $150/month for agreed to extracirricular activities for children. Dad said he can't afford to pay. Our MSA does state that those types of things should be split (dance class, soccer, equipment, etc)...but I haven't pushed it because I try not to sweat the small stuff!!

What should I do? I feel like it's right to pay for 1/2 of his added expense, but then I now think maybe I should be asking him to pay for 1/2 the dance classes, etc.

Honestly I think he'll always have something he's not happy about and every time I make a compromise with him, something new comes up.

Thank you!

If it were my decision, and I wanted to avoid court proceedings, I'd pay him a $100 a month and be done with it.

But, I'd make sure it was in writing preserved for the time when he whines about not receiving it.

I'd also make sure that every payment I gave him, he signed a receipt to prove that he received the funds.


You've allowed this problem to become a pattern.

He whines and you give in.

It will only last until your kids become adults.

I'll bet you're happy to no longer be married to this useless, cheapskate.

I wouldn't want my children around this useless worm.

One on one time with each child.

I'd be very worried about what he's doing during that one on one time.

He's the kind of male that gives MEN and FATHERS a bad name!

 

[bayangel214]

If I give in I will make sure he pay for 1/2 of every single cost I incur that I've let slip under the radar for all these years...

Up until this point I've paid for all sports, field trips, school supplies, shoes, jackets, ...
and never played the 'nickel and diming' game.

Thanks for saying how I feel!

 

[bayangel214]

Followup

Because ex didn't count in his proposal the 3+ months the kids are off from school in a total year; vacations, summer, holidays and refuses to redo his math, I said I would commit to paying half of what he is asking for.

He says he can't pay for 1/2 of the extra-cirriculars he agreed the kids can do & I also am the only person carrying them on my health insurance. While I know this is unrelated to added gas expense incurred by my move, I don't want to appear or act like I have tons of expendable income.

Not surprisingly, he hasn't responded. And, I now have a new email that says he wants one more nite a week with the children. Our MSA was written years ago and the time is as it has been for a long time.

It just shows me that he'll never be satisfied and will always come at me with something new...

For now, I'll let it lie.

Thanks for reading!

 

[army judge]

Because ex didn't count in his proposal the 3+ months the kids are off from school in a total year; vacations, summer, holidays and refuses to redo his math, I said I would commit to paying half of what he is asking for.

He says he can't pay for 1/2 of the extra-cirriculars he agreed the kids can do & I also am the only person carrying them on my health insurance. While I know this is unrelated to added gas expense incurred by my move, I don't want to appear or act like I have tons of expendable income.

Not surprisingly, he hasn't responded. And, I now have a new email that says he wants one more nite a week with the children. Our MSA was written years ago and the time is as it has been for a long time.

It just shows me that he'll never be satisfied and will always come at me with something new...

For now, I'll let it lie.

Thanks for reading!

You have to face facts.
This bum is never going to be a proper dad.
I'd do as much as possible to keep this bum out of the lives of my children.
I wouldn't break the law, mind you.
I'd simply accept the fact that he's nothing more than a stud; and a very poor one at that.
Mom, you're a parent, mom and dad.
It isn't about disposable income, but you're accepting responsibility.
If that deadbeat wants to see his kids, let him pay his own expenses to do so.
I'd take his loser butt back to court and rehash this, once and for all.
Sure, you want him to do better, be better, and become a father.
That ain't never gonna happen.
He's a deadbeat, a bum, a useless twit.
You and those kids don't need the negativity and uselessness this creep oozes.
He's like a deadly virus that kills.
I wish you all the best.
But if I were you (and I know I'm not), I'd take that loser back to court and get a judge to box his ears.