Convoluted Change of Custody (?)

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MasterNewbie

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I apologize for the lack of clear information in the thread title. I'm not quite sure what exactly it is that we should be doing, or what it would fall under.

I have a 17 year old nephew wanting to leave his mother who lives in Georgia. He wants to move to Ohio where most of his paternal family lives. My brother and his ex wife were divorced in North Carolina.

What would the jurisdiction be? Georgia? Ohio? We've looked in to affidavits of preference, emancipation, but nothing seems like it would work. Ohio doesn't recognize AoPs, he's still in high school so he couldn't be completely financially independent, so emancipation doesn't appear to be an option.

My understanding is that he lives in an unnecessarily restrictive and repressive environment. I know this isn't my judgment to make about his living conditions, but just an idea of the motivation in wanting to leave.

Were he to come to Ohio I would assume he'd live with his grandparents.

Do you guys have any advice or some idea of what legal routes that he or we could take?
 
A child or minor can't decide where he or she wants to live.
Your 17 year old nephew can, however, decide where he wants live the second he becomes an adult at midnight on his 18th birthday.

If you do anything other than to tell him to discuss the issue of his residency with his custodial parent, you are placing yourself in legal jeopardy.

You have no dog in this silly fight.

I don't know why people even entertain the gripes of children not in their custody.

Children should be encouraged to speak with their parents about life's big and little concerns.

Only the child's custodial parent can determine where the child resides.

The non-custodial parent has the ability, in some narrow circumstances, to seek a modification of the custody order.

If you believe the child is being harmed, abused, molested, or neglected you should report your concerns to local law enforcement where the child resides, or the child services agency in that state.
 
Your nephew's mother is free to "repress" him as she is the parent. She sets the limits and boundaries, not him. If his biological/legal father wants to try and obtain custody, HE may file with the court in order to do so. No one else has any claim to this child. There would also have to be substantial reason to change custody and the child not liking the rules at home isn't going to cut it.
 
Is there any legal recourse aside from change of custody that can be done to get his residency changed? I don't know many details of his home life because the mother prohibits any sort of contact or visitation with this part of the family (in case you were wondering, he's set up an alias on social media and has to sneak on a tablet of one of his siblings to contact any of us).

His school counselor has already set him up with a legal aide, and my own siblings are researching other options. Do you think emancipation or guardianship could work? Or should I make a similar post in the relevant areas of this website?

Also, what is the area of jurisdiction in this mess?
 
Guardianship would only be an option if both parents agreed. I have no idea what legal aide would do for a minor who does not yet have the legal right to bring suit of any kind. Perhaps he was referred there to tell him he has no recourse. Your only hope of a relationship with this kid before he turns 18 is to appeal to the father. Strangely, you mention nothing of him.
 
So you're saying that for a minor, the only legal recourse would be an attempt at emancipation?

Is the jurisdiction considered Georgia?

I don't specifically mention my brother, the father, because I don't believe he is aware of what is going on. You are suggesting he load his legal guns?
 
MasterNewbie said:
So you're saying that for a minor, the only legal recourse would be an attempt at emancipation?

Is the jurisdiction considered Georgia?

I don't specifically mention my brother, the father, because I don't believe he is aware of what is going on. You are suggesting he load his legal guns?
Click to expand...

Emancipation is rare, very rare.
Statistics reveal that fewer than 1% of all applications are approved annually across the USA.

Emancipation for most 17 years olds is often too slow to matter because the child becomes an adult before the process completes.

Emancipation exists as an avenue for children found homeless, adrift in this world, struggling, working, providing for themselves already. Emancipation allows this small band of people the ability to contract, marry, and transact business for themselves because they often have no one they can rely on.

Emancipation isn't an option for an unhappy child wishing to reside with a paramour, a wealthier relative, or a way to escape normal parental discipline.

As far as jurisdictional issues, the child is a resident of GA, the home of the custodial parent, his mother.

Minors are what the law calls, legal incompetents.
That means a minor has no standing to bring any matter before any court, except an emancipation petition.
If the minor is injured in an automobile collision.
The minor's parent or legal guardian brings the matter before the court.
 
Not even close. This kid will not be emancipated. Period.

His FATHER is only one with a legal right alter custody of the child if the mother refuses. The legal/biological parents are presumed to have full custody and authority over their own children and may raise them as they see fit, including with which relatives they my spend time, until age 18. How custody, support, and visitation is arranged between them is their business. If there is a custody and support order, either party may file to amend it as needs change. If the change is not mutual, the court will decide if it is warranted. If Daddy dearest isn't in the picture, his chances of getting custody are slim to none. He at least has standing to try. You do not.

IF it is determined by CPS and the courts that the child is in an environment so abusive and dangerous he is at risk remaining in the home, the child will be removed. This alone does not terminate parental rights. If there is another biological parent, that parent is most often granted at least temporary custody. If that other parent can not be found, is deceased, or otherwise unsuitable, the child goes to foster care. In some cases a family member placement may be possible but out of state placements and placements to family members who are essentially strangers to the child would take some beyond extraordinary circumstances. As the child lives in GA, they retain jurisdiction. That is a lot of "ifs" and an unhappy teenager in a strict household is not even in the ballpark for CPS involvement.
 
I've acquired more information regarding his situation.

My mother, his grandmother, was in contact with him prior to his prohibition of contact, and this is her account, from him, of his living situation:

"[Nephew] is not allowed to get a job, driver's license, see friends, etc. He basically goes to school and comes home to babysit. On weekends, he's just home. [Grandmother] guesses it's constant arguments between him and [the mother and/or her spouse]. recently [mother's spouse] told him he had to start paying rent, although they won't let [nephew] get a job. [Nephew] is very concerned about what he's going to do with his life after he graduates, because he has no way to get ready to be on his own. As always, none of the kids (Ed: He has two full brothers and a half-sister living with him and two half-siblings not living with him.) are allowed to contact their relatives ([the mother] has told the kids that what happens at home stays at home). When [the mother] found out that [nephew] had contacted [the grandmother] recently, [the mother] banned [nephew] from Facebook and blocked all of the family on [nephew's] account ([nephew] did open a new account that [the mother] is unaware of). [Nephew] indicated that the arguments with [mother's spouse] are on the verge of physical, but everything right now is just more mental/emotional abuse (he's never going to amount to anything, none of his relatives care about him, etc.). [Nephew] is concerned about the well-being of his brothers, also. He said that [mother's spouse] has worked really hard to get all the sensitivity out of [different nephew]. He wants to leave, but he's also afraid of the consequences to his brothers. Just a FYI, [the mother] lost custody of her and [mother's most recent ex-husband's] two kids to him in September, after the court decided that [the mother] (and especially [mother's current spouse]) were not fit parents. [Nephew] has told [the mother] that he wants to live with [the father], and she told [nephew] that she'd have [the father] arrested for being behind in child support if [the father] came near [nephew]. Lots of intimidation and control from [the mother] and [her spouse], in addition to degrading [nephew] at every opportunity. [The grandmother] is concerned that [mother's spouse] will get physical with [nephew], or that [nephew] will start thinking about suicide. he is completely miserable."

The rest of his family aren't strangers of our own volition, my mother, the grandmother at least one week per year visited them in Georgia until she was told by the mother that she was no longer permitted to see them. Contact was maintained until that too was prohibited by the mother, but has since continued due to the alias account. But you're saying interstate placement is unlikely.
 
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Okay, MasterNewbie, I see one - maybe two issues.

Charging your MINOR child rent is a matter that should be reported to child protection, school officials, or law enforcement. That is a very serious, troubling allegation, if proven to be true. It can also have the children removed from the home.

In many cases the female is protecting the male parental figure. Although the roles can be reversed, or both figures can be abusive, neglectful, or involved.

The "what happens at home, stays at home" mantra can raise the hair on most child protection specialists. The statement alone isn't the problem. It's what's happening in that home that MIGHT be a problem.

Forbidding a child from obtaining a drivers license is simply a matter of parental preference. Most parents do so to tamp down automobile insurance rates.

The other things, simply within the purview of each parent's authority.

The first two items you can discuss with the aforementioned authorities in GA, or advise the child to do so in confidence.
 
Could there be a possibility of psychological or emotional abuse here? Or is that implicitly included with the "happens at home, stays at home" response?
 
Anything is possible but nothing you post is definitive. Even that "what happens at home, stays at home", isn't definitive, especially when there are meddling long distance relatives. The change in custody of other children with a different father is meaningless and could have been done for any number of reasons. What matters is what is happening right now directly to your nephew. If he is breaking household rules, arguing with his step-father, and sneaking onto social media, that is going to cause most parents to be angry and act in a less than calm and loving manner. If the extended family is trying to convince the child to leave the mother, I can see why she wishes to limit contact.

It is unlikely that the threat to make the kid pay rent will mean much of anything. Especially since he does not have a job, it is obviously an empty threat.
 
Well no, I don't live anywhere near him and I have not personally been in contact with him regarding this situation, so I don't know anything definitively. Everything I know about it is hearsay, but certainly some of it is worthy of being looked into.

"Meddling long distance relatives" was not a thing until yesterday. He's expressed desire to leave his mother for at least two years now. I don't believe that his extended family was directly responsible for cultivating that desire, and we are only now trying to help him because we believe it is in his best interest to leave.

But you do recognize it as a threat, empty or not, does that not raise your eye brows?
 
Lots of parents say and do things I might not approve of or would not do myself. That does not make them illegal or worthy of CPS intervention let alone removal from the home. If you want to help this child, encourage him to obey his parents, do well in school, and help him think about his future (college, military, trade school, etc.). You have zero means or legal authority to interfere with his mother's custody or parenting choices. The more you put into his head that moving in with you (granny, aunt, uncle, whoever) is an option and that you will let him do XYZ, the more difficult you make his current living situation.
 
Let me reiterate, I am not in contact with him. He sneaks to be in contact with his extended family, not for the sake of being on social media. I do not know who precisely he contacts currently or what conversations are held, right now I believe he still keeps in touch with his older cousins and possibly their mother, my sister, who initiated the search to find a way to get him out of his mother's house. It could be the case that his stepfather argues with him. Neither you nor I know. You seem to believe he and us (the extended family) are the problem, or causing the problem. I'm not going to try to argue that because that is not the purpose of me posting here.

So basically we have three options:

1) Father can try to claim custody. You are right I didn't bring him up much, or this option, because I don't feel the father's current living situation is conducive to taking custody of him or his other brothers.

2) Get CPS or a similar service involved. I understand that this isn't guaranteed to get him out of the house, and if it did, it would be incredibly unlikely for him and possibly his brothers to get homed with family several states away.

3) Wait until he's 18 and help arrange for him to leave the house.

An entirely separate question, when he turns 18 and if CPS were ever involved at some point, do you think he'd be able to take guardianship of his siblings, or at least his brothers? If the way his living situation is portrayed to me is true at all, he is at least concerned with leaving his brothers there.
 
CPS is not going to give custody of siblings to an 18 year old.
 
If you have never spoken to him and are not entirely sure what has been said, and anything you do know is at best 3rd hand, you really have no standing to do anything. You are correct about your options. I can only go by what you say and when you say that multiple family members are trying to get the boy to live in Ohio, that sounds an awful lot like you all are at the very least not helping the situation. If he isn't being told that Ohio is not an option and encouraged to cooperate fully with his parents, you are the problem.

There is nothing to indicate CPS is appropriate based on what you wrote. Keep in mind, the bar to remove a child or children from a home is extremely high. There are not enough foster homes out there for kids who are truly in grave danger and CPS's first priority is to keep families in tact. Kids are only removed as a last resort and when other interventions have failed.

There is also zero chance an 18 year old is going to get custody of his siblings, particularly if he is still in school, and or has no job or means of supporting them all on his own.
 
Secondhand, not third. We are not the problem, there was a problem before we got ourselves involved otherwise we would not have gotten involved.

Thank you guys for the insights and advice. I've already relayed to my siblings that we will have to wait almost another year, and in the meantime suggested that those in contact with him see what he can do to expedite his move after he turns 18.
 

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