child lost in the system

[ilovemykids67]

My sister in law and brother in law are raising a child that is not biologically theirs. The mother of the child told my brother in law that he was the father and when they went to court for custody the paternity test came back that he was not the father. However, since my brother and sister in law had been raising this child since she was about 6 months old (they went to court when she was almost 3) they granted them temporary custody (the papers now have already expired). They have not gone back to court, the bilogical mother pretty much does not care about what happens to this child because she has not tried to have any kind of contact (the child is now 5). My problem is that my brother in law is a lowlife who does drugs, does not have a job, and has his family (wife and kid) living at his parents home, which has a total of 9 people living there. The child sleeps on a crib matress on the floor. They also are claiming this child on their taxes, use her for food stamps, etc. This child has a real father out there somewhere and has other real brothers and sisters. I would like to know what can be done and who to contact to try and get her taken away so that she can have the life that she deserves. I know people who have been trying to adopt a child for years and haven't been able to and it just makes me sick to my stomach to know that noone has even questioned about this sweet child that deserves so much more than scum for parents. If anyone has any advice on what can be done PLEASE give me all you got. Thanks!!!!

 

[army judge]

My sister in law and brother in law are raising a child that is not biologically theirs. The mother of the child told my brother in law that he was the father and when they went to court for custody the paternity test came back that he was not the father. However, since my brother and sister in law had been raising this child since she was about 6 months old (they went to court when she was almost 3) they granted them temporary custody (the papers now have already expired). They have not gone back to court, the bilogical mother pretty much does not care about what happens to this child because she has not tried to have any kind of contact (the child is now 5). My problem is that my brother in law is a lowlife who does drugs, does not have a job, and has his family (wife and kid) living at his parents home, which has a total of 9 people living there. The child sleeps on a crib matress on the floor. They also are claiming this child on their taxes, use her for food stamps, etc. This child has a real father out there somewhere and has other real brothers and sisters. I would like to know what can be done and who to contact to try and get her taken away so that she can have the life that she deserves. I know people who have been trying to adopt a child for years and haven't been able to and it just makes me sick to my stomach to know that noone has even questioned about this sweet child that deserves so much more than scum for parents. If anyone has any advice on what can be done PLEASE give me all you got. Thanks!!!!

In SC you need to contact SC-Department of Social Services.
Here is their website.
This savage and his idiot female need to lose all of their children. :no:
Report them immediately.
You can also just dial "911" and your local police agency will get things moving. :yes:
God bless you for caring about children at risk! :angel

Child Protective Services - Child Protective Services investigates reports of and protects children from abuse or neglect within their families, in foster care, or by other persons responsible for the child's welfare.


https://dss.sc.gov/content/customers/protection/index.aspx

How can I make a report?

The person who believes that a child has been or is being harmed or is at significant risk of being harmed should call the county DSS office where the child resides. Trained staff will assist the person to make a report and assess the information to determine if it meets screening criteria for investigation. Reports also can be made to local law enforcement offices who will communicate with DSS to coordinate an investigation.


https://dss.sc.gov/content/about/counties/index.aspx

 

[Proserpina]

So when you contacted CPS about these appalling conditions and the child's obvious endangerment, what happened?

 

[PQN2]

So your brother in law stepped up when he was told the child was his. Then when mom didn't come back, he went to court to make sure things were done correctly. When he found out that he wasn't the bio-father, he chose to voluntarily continue to parent the child because he was the only father she knew. In this economy, many people do not have jobs. His family stepped up and gave them a place to stay. The child has now been raised for 5 years - all of her life from her point of view - by this family.

To address your other "issues"

1. Nine people living in one home. That is great - having 3 generations under one roof was very common in this country until the last 50 years or so.

2. Sleeps on a crib mattress on the floor. At 5, she likely fits just fine on a crib mattress.

3. They claim her on their taxes and get food stamps for her. Why shouldn't they do this? They are raising her. They are feeding her.

4. There is a biological father out there. Yes, that is true. So where has he been for the last 5 years? Does your BIL even know who he might be -- probably not, how could he know who mom slept with 5 years ago?

5. There are couples out there looking to adopt. As an adoptive mother, I am incredibly bothered by your statement. Adoption is not done in an effort to "trade up" to a better family. Adoption is done when either the bioparents make a choice that they cannot parent and choose a family for their child or when bioparents are so neglectful/abusive that the child cannot safely remain in their care AND they refuse to fix the problems that led to the child being removed from their care.

6. BIL does drugs. How do you know this? And even if he does, does he do them around the child? Does he drive the child places while under the influence? If not, it is not a factor.

You make not like your SIL and BIL. But it sounds to me like they put that child's needs first every step of the way. Leave them alone.

 

[ilovemykids67]

PQN2....I understand what you are seeing in my original post but believe me the only reason that they raised this child as theirs is because after already being "mom and dad" for two and a half years is when they found out that he was not the father. They are "keeping" this child and "using" her to get the extra benefits. I understand that the economy is crap right now but this man has had SEVERAL jobs and has been FIRED from every one of them because he is lazy and lays out of work......9 people in the home, three of which are dope heads. I know this for a fact but have yet to have the proof I need to go to the police. and no a 5 year old should NOT be sleeping on a crib matress on a floor! They have lived there back and forth so many times over the last 5 years that i cant even count on both hands, how is that healthy for a child? I understand that you may be the type of person that tries to see the best in people but believe me I have tried several times to help these people and they continue to be crap. I am not trying to get this child "traded up" to a better family that is not the point in this. The point is that the conditions in which she is living is not fit and these people have NO LEGAL RIGHTS for her and are USING her to get benefits from the state which is funded by tax payers money. He is able to work and WONT. This child deserves a better life.

 

[army judge]

PQN2....I understand what you are seeing in my original post but believe me the only reason that they raised this child as theirs is because after already being "mom and dad" for two and a half years is when they found out that he was not the father. They are "keeping" this child and "using" her to get the extra benefits. I understand that the economy is crap right now but this man has had SEVERAL jobs and has been FIRED from every one of them because he is lazy and lays out of work......9 people in the home, three of which are dope heads. I know this for a fact but have yet to have the proof I need to go to the police. and no a 5 year old should NOT be sleeping on a crib matress on a floor! They have lived there back and forth so many times over the last 5 years that i cant even count on both hands, how is that healthy for a child? I understand that you may be the type of person that tries to see the best in people but believe me I have tried several times to help these people and they continue to be crap. I am not trying to get this child "traded up" to a better family that is not the point in this. The point is that the conditions in which she is living is not fit and these people have NO LEGAL RIGHTS for her and are USING her to get benefits from the state which is funded by tax payers money. He is able to work and WONT. This child deserves a better life.

There will always be naysayers and critics.

Ignore them and their nonsense.

You do what must be done to help that child.

You aren't breaking any laws and you need not explain your actions.

Call "911" and let the police investigate this matter, so they can extricate that child from the clutches of these modern day grifters!

God bless you.

 

[PQN2]

PQN2....I understand what you are seeing in my original post but believe me the only reason that they raised this child as theirs is because after already being "mom and dad" for two and a half years is when they found out that he was not the father. They are "keeping" this child and "using" her to get the extra benefits. I understand that the economy is crap right now but this man has had SEVERAL jobs and has been FIRED from every one of them because he is lazy and lays out of work......9 people in the home, three of which are dope heads. I know this for a fact but have yet to have the proof I need to go to the police. and no a 5 year old should NOT be sleeping on a crib matress on a floor! They have lived there back and forth so many times over the last 5 years that i cant even count on both hands, how is that healthy for a child? I understand that you may be the type of person that tries to see the best in people but believe me I have tried several times to help these people and they continue to be crap. I am not trying to get this child "traded up" to a better family that is not the point in this. The point is that the conditions in which she is living is not fit and these people have NO LEGAL RIGHTS for her and are USING her to get benefits from the state which is funded by tax payers money. He is able to work and WONT. This child deserves a better life.

1. CPS can not legally take a child from their home due to poverty. If the child is being fed, has clothes appropriate to the weather, an indoor place to sleep, and is not being abused, then the minimum parenting standards in most states have been met.

2. If the child did come into care, a lot more tax money would be spent on her than what is currently. Foster parents get a larger subsidy than welfare, caseworkers get paid, etc, etc.

3. While a crib mattress on the floor may be below your standards, it is a legally acceptable sleeping spot. Heck, when we got my son his first 'big boy bed' we stored his old crib mattress under our bed. He loved dragging it out and sleeping on it even at 10 years old!

4. They do have the legal right to have her in their home. First, legal mom asked them to care for her. Second, despite the temporary custody order expiring, no legal parent has stepped forward to ask for her return. Clearly, your state recognizes them as the legal guardians or they would not be getting food stamps/welfare for her.

5. Military families move frequently as well. Their moves will not be a negative factor unless they begin to interfere with her schooling.

I hear your frustration. I understand that this is not how you would raise your child. If you truly feel that this child is being neglected, then call your local CPS. But please don't be surprised if they do not open a case. I taught in a very poor area of a major metro. Nearly all of the kids in my class lived in overcrowded government-subsidized housing, had few clothes, often slept on mattress on the floor or on couches.

If you wish to help this child, perhaps offer to babysit or buy her school clothes or a new bed.

 

[lonelyinny]

myob

PQN2....I understand what you are seeing in my original post but believe me the only reason that they raised this child as theirs is because after already being "mom and dad" for two and a half years is when they found out that he was not the father. They are "keeping" this child and "using" her to get the extra benefits. I understand that the economy is crap right now but this man has had SEVERAL jobs and has been FIRED from every one of them because he is lazy and lays out of work......9 people in the home, three of which are dope heads. I know this for a fact but have yet to have the proof I need to go to the police. and no a 5 year old should NOT be sleeping on a crib matress on a floor! They have lived there back and forth so many times over the last 5 years that i cant even count on both hands, how is that healthy for a child? I understand that you may be the type of person that tries to see the best in people but believe me I have tried several times to help these people and they continue to be crap. I am not trying to get this child "traded up" to a better family that is not the point in this. The point is that the conditions in which she is living is not fit and these people have NO LEGAL RIGHTS for her and are USING her to get benefits from the state which is funded by tax payers money. He is able to work and WONT. This child deserves a better life.

you have no legal rights to this child either. i think you should mind your own business and stop making trouble. you have no proof the child is being abused or neglected, and even if the child is removed from the home, you and your family will not be getting custody. period.you have no legal standing to do anything at all.

 

[ilovemykids67]

Im not trying to get custody of this child or saying that I do have legal rights over her. I have kids and a family of my own. You must not have children and must not have read ANYTHING that I have posted.

 

[irish223]

Im not trying to get custody of this child or saying that I do have legal rights over her. I have kids and a family of my own. You must not have children and must not have read ANYTHING that I have posted.

That's fairly typical if you check lonely's posting history. Just ignore the post, please.