Break up and we have a child

L

Lovemyfamily

New Member
Jurisdiction
Wisconsin
I need a little help. My boyfriend are breaking up for many reasons (alcohol is the main reason) we have a 5 year old child together (we were never married). The child is his and his name is on the birth certificate. I am a little worried about how we go about visitation with our child. I fear he will be unable to take care of our child. When he drinks he drinks to the point of drunkenness and can barely take care of himself. He is begging me to not ask him for child support because he won't be able to afford to pay it. I want to put visitation in writing thru the court system, can you do that with out seeking child support? I am unable to afford a lawyer. I don't want our child with him because I am concerned for the safety of our child.
 
Go to court set up visitation and support. While doing this bring up your concerns over drinking and ask for Supervised visit only for a bit and random alcohol testing
 
shrinkmaster said:
Go to court set up visitation and support. While doing this bring up your concerns over drinking and ask for Supervised visit only for a bit and random alcohol testing
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Do I need a lawyer or can I do that through the court? I thought the only way they can open a family court case regarding child would either be through a divorce or through the child support agency.
 
Lovemyfamily said:
Do I need a lawyer or can I do that through the court? I thought the only way they can open a family court case regarding child would either be through a divorce or through the child support agency.
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Contact child support. That will get the ball rolling without an attorney, if you agree to play the game by their rules.
 
I have another question regarding my boyfriend moving out. His name isn't on anything, the monthly bills, mortgage, land, nothing. He has asked me to write a letter listing all of his deposits he has made into our joint account (we use for bills). So he can prove that he has been paying bills and on time and to show where all of his money is going (he only deposits a certain amount into our joint checking a month and the rest goes into his personal account). He is calling it a "letter of credit" that he can bring to a mortgage loan officer to help him get a loan. I am a little apprehensive about doing this because I don't want him to be able to use it against me in court in the future (he thinks I owe him money because he contributed to the monthly living expenses and he did upgrades to the garage and he thinks he should get some money back from me when he moves out). He also wants to write up a contract between the two of us stating that I won't take him to court for child support and he won't take me to court for the money he says he is entitled to and that he won't fight for full custody of our child. If I ever do take him to court for child support then he will fight for full custody of our child AND take me to court for the money. I am not sure what to do. Please help!
 
Lovemyfamily said:
I have another question regarding my boyfriend moving out. His name isn't on anything, the monthly bills, mortgage, land, nothing. He has asked me to write a letter listing all of his deposits he has made into our joint account (we use for bills). So he can prove that he has been paying bills and on time and to show where all of his money is going (he only deposits a certain amount into our joint checking a month and the rest goes into his personal account). He is calling it a "letter of credit" that he can bring to a mortgage loan officer to help him get a loan. I am a little apprehensive about doing this because I don't want him to be able to use it against me in court in the future (he thinks I owe him money because he contributed to the monthly living expenses and he did upgrades to the garage and he thinks he should get some money back from me when he moves out). He also wants to write up a contract between the two of us stating that I won't take him to court for child support and he won't take me to court for the money he says he is entitled to and that he won't fight for full custody of our child. If I ever do take him to court for child support then he will fight for full custody of our child AND take me to court for the money. I am not sure what to do. Please help!
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I suggest you stop listening to the little devil, formerly known to you as your beloved.

I would stall him, much as he's probably stalled you.

Now isn't the time to worry about that bum.

Now is the time you worry about you and your family ONLY.

He should be considered a stranger, certainly not a friend.
 
army judge said:
I suggest you stop listening to the little devil, formerly known to you as your beloved.

I would stall him, much as he's probably stalled you.

Now isn't the time to worry about that bum.

Now is the time you worry about you and your family ONLY.

He should be considered a stranger, certainly not a friend.
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Ok that helps with the mental portion of it. What do I do about the letter and contract he wants?? He says he can't move out until the end of May (he doesn't have the money and that's why he needs that "letter of credit" from me.). He is making my life hell still living in the same house with him.
 
Lovemyfamily said:
Ok that helps with the mental portion of it. What do I do about the letter and contract he wants?? He says he can't move out until the end of May (he doesn't have the money and that's why he needs that "letter of credit" from me.). He is making my life hell still living in the same house with him.
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Sign no agreements or make any oral ones without first talking to an Attorney.
 
Lovemyfamily said:
Ok that helps with the mental portion of it. What do I do about the letter and contract he wants?? He says he can't move out until the end of May (he doesn't have the money and that's why he needs that "letter of credit" from me.). He is making my life hell still living in the same house with him.
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You don't have to sign anything, agree to anything, or give him anything.

YOU are the ONLY BOSS of YOU.

Stop listening to the devil's clever, but oh so evil lies.

Ignore him, stall him, or avoid him.

If you can move in with relatives, or friends TEMPORARILY, leave as soon as you can.

Don't tell him you're leaving.

He's played you like Jimmi Hendrix or Eric Clapton played their guitar.
 
army judge said:
You don't have to sign anything, agree to anything, or give him anything.

YOU are the ONLY BOSS of YOU.

Stop listening to the devil's clever, but oh so evil lies.

Ignore him, stall him, or avoid him.

If you can move in with relatives, or friends TEMPORARILY, leave as soon as you can.

Don't tell him you're leaving.

He's played you like Jimmi Hendrix or Eric Clapton played their guitar.
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I would love to go stay with someone else temporarily but the house is in my name and I am not leaving it because he could claim that I abandoned it. I just have to deal with him until he goes. Thank you for your help.
 

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