After signing separation/property settlement agreement, wife petitioned for custody and alimony/child support

[bast525]

Jurisdiction

Virginia

My wife and I separated in early December. She moved in with her new boyfriend, and left our two teenage children with me. Shortly thereafter, she retained an attorney and had them draft a property settlement agreement after we agreed to various things verbally. After some additional discussion and revisions, we both signed the agreement and had it notarized. In it, we agreed to joint legal custody, with me having primary physical custody on weekdays, and her taking them every other weekend. I agreed to pay out her half of the equity in our home, and we evenly split all other property. Lastly, we both waived any claim to spousal or child support entirely.

Today, I open my door to find summonses from the court, indicating she is petitioning for "custody/visitation" (it doesn't go into more detail than this) and is petitioning for spousal support ($3400 a month!!! I make 140k and she is self employed and makes about 60k, no calculator I've tried gives anywhere near this level of alimony!), and ALSO for child support (to be determined by the court).

Am I in trouble here? I thought once we had a signed notarized separation agreement, I was no longer at risk of her trying to do anything like this. We live in Virginia. The agreement was very obviously not signed under duress as her lawyer wrote it up for her. I don't think it qualifies as unconscionable just because we both waived support? I can't find any other grounds that a PSA would be completely voided, discarded, ignored, or modified by the courts.

I'm working on retaining representation now (I'm signed up for LegalShield and was getting consultations and document review as part of that service). I just want to know what are the chances of this going south and her taking a huge chunk of my money? $3400 a month is almost exactly half of what I take home every month...

 

[welkin]

It doesn't sound like you had an attorney handle the property settlement. Did you? In any event, find an attorney and they will let you know if your settlement agreement is binding or not.

Don't panic!

 

[Zigner]

If the "agreement" wasn't entered as a court order, then it's not a court order.
I agree that you need to speak to an attorney, but I want to point out that the court retains jurisdiction over child support and it can be changed in the future, even if one party (or both) "waived" it in the past.

 

[bast525]

It doesn't sound like you had an attorney handle the property settlement. Did you? In any event, find an attorney and they will let you know if your settlement agreement is binding or not.

Don't panic!

Sorry, yes her attorney prepared the agreement and I had an attorney review it and suggest revisions. I don't currently have an attorney retained, rather, I subscribe to LegalShield, which offers some services such as unlimited consultations and document review as part of the service. A lawyer reviewed the agreement with me over the phone section by section and other than the couple things we asked for revision to, assured me it is a standard and legally binding PSA.

 

[bast525]

If the "agreement" wasn't entered as a court order, then it's not a court order.
I agree that you need to speak to an attorney, but I want to point out that the court retains jurisdiction over child support and it can be changed in the future, even if one party (or both) "waived" it in the past.

I have contacted my LegalShield attorney and send him the summonses, and have asked what is the next step for retaining representation before the court date. I expect to hear back by mid-next week.

I do understand that child custody and support arrangements can be modified regardless of what was agreed on previously, if either parent's living or financial situation changes. There has been no change to income, employment status, or living situation since the agreement was drafted and signed.

Since I have primary custody (kids are with me 12 out of 14 days), wouldn't it make more sense for her to pay me child support? She has contributed a few times to clothing purchases, but food, house supplies, transportation, etc etc etc are all paid by me except for the times she has them.

 

[army judge]

Since I have primary custody (kids are with me 12 out of 14 days), wouldn't it make more sense for her to pay me child support? She has contributed a few times to clothing purchases, but food, house supplies, transportation, etc etc etc are all paid by me except for the times she has them.

Don't waste precious time seeking free or cheap legal assistance.

Do spend your hard earned dough on the best divorce attorney you can afford. Once you've retained the attorney's services and possess the signed retainer, speak ONLY to YOUR attorney about every aspect of your divorce.

Whatever you do, CEASE speaking to your soon to be former spouse. Advise your attorney as to what you wish to do, and say NOTHING about the matter to any other human being.

Don't prowl unsocial media sites kvetching about this and that. Do engage only with your attorney, no one else.

Now that you've seen a glimpse of common divorce behavior, to include gaslighting, outright lying, deceit, trickeration, mind meddling, back pedaling, and "I'm planning to clean you out" mentality, steel yourself for more chicanery.

In all likelihood, your Soon To Be Former Spouse's new "honey" is advising his new honeybee to sting you as hard as she can.

So, its better for you to lawyer up and shut up. Allow your "mouthpiece" to do what you hired her or him to do, get you out of this mess quickly and allow you to avoid a massive asset fleecing.

 

[bast525]

Thank you. I have ceased contact with her and will only discuss visitation arrangements. I am waiting to hear back from the LegalShield lawyer after he reviews the summons. He had said in the past that he didn't see a need to retain representation YET, as we had the signed agreement and no court date, but that I would likely need to retain once we had our court date (we presumed this would be for the actual divorce filing). Now that she has petitioned the court and we have a court date I very much want to retain a lawyer asap and do as you said. The LegalShield attorney said once we get to that point he will hand my case off to another attorney at his firm and I will pay my retainer, etc.

 

[army judge]

The LegalShield attorney said once we get to that point he will hand my case off to another attorney at his firm and I will pay my retainer, etc.

Hiring an attorney is a very subjective, personal process.

Hire someone that GETS your needs and wants.

Don't hire anyone who wants to supply you with their wants.

That said, just as each of us selects a dentist, a physician, a contractor, etc... you're the only one that can decide if Lawyer Lincoln or Attorney Adams could represent your interests correctly.

You must meet with the lawyer you hire and determine if he or she will fight zealously upon your behalf, or work to settle the dispute quickly, rather than advantageous on your behalf.

 

[Coldermore]

Don't waste precious time seeking free or cheap legal assistance.

Do spend your hard earned dough on the best divorce attorney you can afford. Once you've retained the attorney's services and possess the signed retainer, speak ONLY to YOUR attorney about every aspect of your divorce.

Whatever you do, CEASE speaking to your soon to be former spouse. Advise your attorney as to what you wish to do, and say NOTHING about the matter to any other human being.

Don't prowl unsocial media sites kvetching about this and that. Do engage only with your attorney for Illinois alimony calculator, no one else.

Now that you've seen a glimpse of common divorce behavior, to include gaslighting, outright lying, deceit, trickeration, mind meddling, back pedaling, and "I'm planning to clean you out" mentality, steel yourself for more chicanery.

In all likelihood, your Soon To Be Former Spouse's new "honey" is advising his new honeybee to sting you as hard as she can.

So, its better for you to lawyer up and shut up. Allow your "mouthpiece" to do what you hired her or him to do, get you out of this mess quickly and allow you to avoid a massive asset fleecing.

Agree with the last lines

 

[ldij46]

I have contacted my LegalShield attorney and send him the summonses, and have asked what is the next step for retaining representation before the court date. I expect to hear back by mid-next week.

I do understand that child custody and support arrangements can be modified regardless of what was agreed on previously, if either parent's living or financial situation changes. There has been no change to income, employment status, or living situation since the agreement was drafted and signed.

Since I have primary custody (kids are with me 12 out of 14 days), wouldn't it make more sense for her to pay me child support? She has contributed a few times to clothing purchases, but food, house supplies, transportation, etc etc etc are all paid by me except for the times she has them.

It is not the parent's living or financial situation that matters as much in a modification, but rather, the "best interests of the child". With older children, particularly teens, their wishes also factor in to one extent or another. Is there any chance that your children have expressed a desire to mom to primarily live with her? If they haven't and that isn't what they want then mom may be living in fantasyland a bit. The status quo is the children living with you (although it really hasn't been quite long enough to establish true status quo).

The way that alimony normally is calculated is based on the difference between the two party's incomes. Since you are employed, your income is your wages. Since she is self employed, her income is her profit. So, if that 60 is her profit, then that is the right figure to use, if it is her gross income before business expenses, then it is not.

So, as a very rough example only, if your wages are 140k and her profit is 60k then the difference between the two incomes is 80k, and that would be subject to division between the two parties. 40k divided by 12 months is about 3333.00 a month so that may be the rough calculation that she or her attorney is using. You however can make the argument that since alimony is no longer tax deductible to the payer and taxable to the receiver that taxes need to be taken into consideration before calculating the split. If the children end up remaining primarily with you then you can also ask for child support to offset some or all of the alimony she wants from you.

You really do need to discuss all of this with an attorney that you have retained to represent you.