niteemissary
New Member
I need some help here - hope someone can shed some light. I am my husbands 3rd wife. He married very young in the service to a Korean woman he brought back to the US and had a son, they divorced. Later he remarried and has 2 children with his second wife. Our problem is with wife #1. Back in about 1990 she left my husband with their very young son and headed from Connecticut to California because their marriage was over. My husband filed here in CT for divorce and it took nearly a year for her to be served papers because she constantly moved. Finally after nearly 2.5 years the courts in CT finally dissolved the marriage with no alimony and no support granted because she never showed for any court dates, never sent in any paperwork or hired an atty to represent her - made no contact what so ever with the court system. The decree stated that parenting was joint and that she had custody with reasonable visitation of the child. Shortly after my husband remarried, his first wife shows back up and dumps their son on his door step claiming she doesn't want him any more. My husband of course gives him a good home and schooling and about a year later she shows back up waving the divorce decree saying he is her son and wants him back. In 95/96 the same thing happens agin - his son is dropped off on his doorstep. This time my husband gets an atty and begins to modify custody for his son so that he can give him a settled lifestyle. This process took some time and while it was in the court system she returned for her child. Shortly after both mom and son had returned to CA the CT courts granted custody to my husband but his young son didn't want to leave his mother in CA (a natural response). Technically my husband has had legal custody of this child since 1996 yet has not seen him since. He didn't want to forcefully remove his son from his mother but asked her instead to try and settle down for the child's sake.
Both mom and son constantly move within CA, Arizona, back to Korea etc and there is no solid way to reach either. She has since remarried many times and uses xhusbands/husbands last names interchangably for reasons unknown. My husband's son was registered in a private school in CA under a different last name than the one he was born with!!!
In 1999 my husband was mailed papers by the city of LA stating he owed back child support of some $14,000 and would need to begin paying $360 a month immediately and another $400 immediately for the past due. He had never received ANY court order requesting child support in all the years they were divorced - but she apparently was receiving welfare or something like that and the city opened a case with my husband. Needless to say my husband contacted an atty and everything was 'cleared' up. However, my husband just got notification that he needs to pick up a summons and appear in court to have the child support enforced. I am beside myself at what the amount can be now in the rear and what he might need to begin to pay. He already pays support and alimony to wife 2. He is trying to retire from the state as he broke his back in 1991 as a corrections officer and can no longer do that job - so money in general has always been tight with his disability although he does work a full time job doing less active work. I just don't understand how the state of CA can send out paperwork in 1999 saying you owe this amount of money from 1997 - 1999 and begin paying this amount without any notification - no court system was involved at all. Can this honestly happen if my husband has court papers that states he's the custodial parent of his son who is now nearly 17 and she has him illegally? Can this battle be won?
Both mom and son constantly move within CA, Arizona, back to Korea etc and there is no solid way to reach either. She has since remarried many times and uses xhusbands/husbands last names interchangably for reasons unknown. My husband's son was registered in a private school in CA under a different last name than the one he was born with!!!
In 1999 my husband was mailed papers by the city of LA stating he owed back child support of some $14,000 and would need to begin paying $360 a month immediately and another $400 immediately for the past due. He had never received ANY court order requesting child support in all the years they were divorced - but she apparently was receiving welfare or something like that and the city opened a case with my husband. Needless to say my husband contacted an atty and everything was 'cleared' up. However, my husband just got notification that he needs to pick up a summons and appear in court to have the child support enforced. I am beside myself at what the amount can be now in the rear and what he might need to begin to pay. He already pays support and alimony to wife 2. He is trying to retire from the state as he broke his back in 1991 as a corrections officer and can no longer do that job - so money in general has always been tight with his disability although he does work a full time job doing less active work. I just don't understand how the state of CA can send out paperwork in 1999 saying you owe this amount of money from 1997 - 1999 and begin paying this amount without any notification - no court system was involved at all. Can this honestly happen if my husband has court papers that states he's the custodial parent of his son who is now nearly 17 and she has him illegally? Can this battle be won?
