When my ex and I divorced in '05, he told me he didn't want to visit my daughter because it would just cause problems in her life. He took a job in another state (Maryland), miles away, even before our divorce was final. He didn't fight me for custody at that time and told me that he'd tried to give up parental rights but was refused by the lawyer who told him he had to have a really good reason to do so.
He was away for many months with no contact with my daughter. About a year later, he does come back and stays with us at my apartment while looking for another job. He stays about 2 months and then gets another job in Virginia/DC area. This time, he did express to me that he wanted to see her, but requested that I fly her to him for visitation. She was too young to fly alone. I couldn't afford this even with the child support, and told him he would have to fly to see her since he was the one who left. Once again, he told me he didn't want to have contact and we didn't hear from him again for a long while.
Many months later, he once again comes back to live with us. I offered him a place to stay again while he got back on his feet and searched for a job. I asked him to watch our daughter while I worked nights so that I wouldn't have to leave her with a babysitter and he was reluctant. He finally found a job, but continued to live with us... stating he was trying to pay off bills. When I found out he was going on a 2 week vacation to Cancun with his girlfriend, I told him he had to move out.
He did move out, but also moved away again and we, once again, never heard from him again for many months. I later found out from his mother that he'd taken a contract job overseas. Although he never contacted us, his child support payments were always on time.
I moved on. Found a wonderful man and remarried. My new husband loves my daughter and wants to be a father to her since my ex is absent in her life. I got my ex's e-mail address from his mother (it had been a year since we'd seen him or heard anything from him) and wrote him an e-mail asking him if he would still like to give up his rights because my new husband wants to adopt her. He responded, telling me that he would be returning to the US at the end of the year and he planned to exercise his visitation rights.
My concern is that he hasn't seen, written to, or talked to my daughter in a year and a half. She was 4 when he left, she is now 6. My daughter has bonded with my new husband, even calling him daddy from time to time. I'm so worried that my ex will be a stranger to her. I feel like there should be something I can do. My ex doesn't know her. She doesn't know him. Is there anything? Maybe even supervised visits for a while until they can get to know each other before he can just take her for whole weekends, or the summer vacation? Please help.
He was away for many months with no contact with my daughter. About a year later, he does come back and stays with us at my apartment while looking for another job. He stays about 2 months and then gets another job in Virginia/DC area. This time, he did express to me that he wanted to see her, but requested that I fly her to him for visitation. She was too young to fly alone. I couldn't afford this even with the child support, and told him he would have to fly to see her since he was the one who left. Once again, he told me he didn't want to have contact and we didn't hear from him again for a long while.
Many months later, he once again comes back to live with us. I offered him a place to stay again while he got back on his feet and searched for a job. I asked him to watch our daughter while I worked nights so that I wouldn't have to leave her with a babysitter and he was reluctant. He finally found a job, but continued to live with us... stating he was trying to pay off bills. When I found out he was going on a 2 week vacation to Cancun with his girlfriend, I told him he had to move out.
He did move out, but also moved away again and we, once again, never heard from him again for many months. I later found out from his mother that he'd taken a contract job overseas. Although he never contacted us, his child support payments were always on time.
I moved on. Found a wonderful man and remarried. My new husband loves my daughter and wants to be a father to her since my ex is absent in her life. I got my ex's e-mail address from his mother (it had been a year since we'd seen him or heard anything from him) and wrote him an e-mail asking him if he would still like to give up his rights because my new husband wants to adopt her. He responded, telling me that he would be returning to the US at the end of the year and he planned to exercise his visitation rights.
My concern is that he hasn't seen, written to, or talked to my daughter in a year and a half. She was 4 when he left, she is now 6. My daughter has bonded with my new husband, even calling him daddy from time to time. I'm so worried that my ex will be a stranger to her. I feel like there should be something I can do. My ex doesn't know her. She doesn't know him. Is there anything? Maybe even supervised visits for a while until they can get to know each other before he can just take her for whole weekends, or the summer vacation? Please help.
