Will my background put my girlfriends custody battle at risk?

[RestrictedYouth]

My girlfriend is afraid that if my ex runs my background he will have grounds in their custody battle. He is a police officer and hasn't asked to run a background check but she is afraid to even let him see my car to run my tags although he knows she is seeing someone. The worst that might be on my record is somewhere between 8-11 years ago I was arrested for shoplifting which i believe was just a misdemeanor (paid a fine and a few weeks probation) and a another time was charged with trespassing (on my own apartment! - long irrellevant story) which again i just paid a fine but didn't do any time or anything serious like that. Other than that I'm just your average joe with no other trouble in the last 8+ years... pretty stable. Even been with the same company for the last 10 years. Should she be worried about her Ex running my background with my past history? Thank you.

 

[fredrikklaw]

No effect!

Being a police officer does not give him carte blanch to check someone's background whenever he feels like it, specifically for a private reason which is what your situation places him in. In other words, just because he runs checks all day long at work and has unparalleled access to local and national data bases, he cannot run a check on you if he has no just cause to do so, and that just cause had better have something to do with a legitimate law enforcement need or he will be way out of line and subject to being disciplined.

That said, he does not need to use his work tools to do a criminal background check on you given the fact that such information is readily available from the local court's archives and records; such records of course are all public records and therefore open for inspection by not only him who can do a check on his day off and while off duty, but also by anyone who wishes to know your background.

But the two incidents that you have mentioned are garden verity misdemeanor indiscretions and cannot possibly be used as reasons to badly affect your girlfriend's child custody battle; a petty shoplifting record is one thing and quite negligible and harmless in this context. Now, if you had been merely arrested for a sexual indiscretion for which you were not even convicted, then I would have to say that you would be an impediment to her chances.

But as things stand, you have nothing to worry about.

fredrikklaw

 

[Proserpina]

I agree completely.

This is just not likely to be an issue at all.

The ONLY problem I see is if you're staying overnight with Mom while they're still married (it's not clear from your post whether the divorce is actually final or not - the mention of a custody battle would suggest that it's not over yet). Dad could try and make a fuss about it, including having a "no paramour" clause put in place.

Of course it's moot if the divorce is finalized

Edited (because I need to read!): It becomes a complete non issue if THEY were never married - that was an assumption on my part!

 

[RestrictedYouth]

Thank you for the replies so far. Just to elaborate a bit, they were married but their divorce is final. The custody case has been completed in fact. My girlfriend is just concerned that if her ex pulls a background check on me that he will have "ammunition" to drag her back to court.

In addition to your comments we are not even in the "sleep over" stage after 10 months of dating. We really are trying to take things very slow and do things right for her daughter. We truly want to follow every precaution for whats in the childs best interest.

I also pulled up my own records and the "shoplifting" case was listed as purged/completely dismissed without prejudice so i should be completely fine, i just don't want to take any chances and put her at some sort of risk. Like I said we're taking every precaution and with him being a police officer and very controlling with unlimited lawyer resources my girlfriend is very nervous of my background so I'm trying to do some research to put her mind at ease.

 

[Proserpina]

Oh then he's blowing smoke. He can't even really complain about you moving in with Mom if that's what you want to do - though I strongly applaud the both you and Mom for wanting to take it slowly

Please try to reassure Mom as much as you can. Your criminal history should have absolutely no bearing at all.