will lack of legal custody of my child from another state affect my upcoming custody?

[mya222]

My eight year old daughter was born in Oregon and her father and I never married. Her father and I split up when my daughter was 4 months old and by the time my daughter was 3 we had recieved $20 in support. I never filed for custody in Oregon and likewise(obviously) never filed for support. When my daughter was 3 we moved to N.C. to be with a good friend of mine and start a business and a new life. 2 years later, said friend and I married and 1 1/2 years later had a son. My daughter, myself and my husband have lived in N.C. for five years now. My daughters father has never contested custody or helped out financially but has just recently(within the last two years) began showing interest in his daughter. My husband and I own a home, two newer vehichles and a small, and successful business. My daughter is now 8, has been in the same school for three years and doing very well at that. My husband has just notified me that he wants a divorce. He refuses to talk about the issues and also refuses to try counselling. I do not want a divorce, but understand that we live in a no-fault state and I have no say in the matter. What I am most concerned with, is the following. I have been a stay at home mother since the birth of our son almost two years ago. I began working two days a week to give my husband a break from the store a year ago, but everything(business, cars, house etc. are in his name) I don't even have a bank account. I want to know if my lack of legal custody of my daughter and the fact that I moved her 3000 miles away without court permission will severely hinder my request for custody of my son. I appologize for this being so long winded, but there are a lot of factors involved(like most legal cases). Thank you for reading this far and I appreciate any insight or advice in the matter.

 

[irish223]

Unless your daughter's father was legally established as the father, and filed for visitation or custody, then you have sole legal custody. As her mother, you do not have to have court ordered custody. That also means that you did not need the court's permission to relocate your child. Plus, you moved 5 years ago, and the father did nothing to prevent or change it in all that time. So, this should not be a factor in your upcoming divorce.

The fact that your husband's name is the only one on your marital assets does not mean that you will not be entitled to, and receive, your share.

 

[mya222]

legally established as father

Thank you so much for the reply. Yes, my daughters father was legally established as her father. In the hospital, when her father and I were still together her father signed something saying he was her father and subsequently his name is on her birth certificate and my daughter has her fathers last name. That is something I would love to change(my daughters last name), but with her father showing more interest in the last few years(and once threatening that he was "getting a lawyer and could force" me back to Oregon regardless of my marriage or her schooling) I have been reticent to broach the subject with him, of name changing, I am just happy that he finally wants a relationship with her.

Thanks again for your response!