Where do i start?

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Rhae

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My question involves guardianship in the State of: Minnesota.

This is a very complex situation so bear with me..

Ive been seeing my girlfriend for awhile now. When we first met, she told me she had a learning disability, and that her mom has guardianship over her. I told her, that it would be best that she talks to her mom about me, before we got into anything, but because her mom has hurt her so many times verbally, with things that she has said...its made my girlfriend not want to talk to her mom about anything. So we compromised and we said that we would talk to her after her dad at least got to know me a little bit, figuring that he might be ok with us dating and might help convince her mom that im ok. We are a homosexual couple. Couple months went by, and we decided that we would like to see each other more. so, we told her mom. Her mom was ok with it. she was cool with it. at first. My girlfriend asked to see me....and her mom stated that they needed to clean the house first....ok reasonable. couple weeks later, my girlfriend asked her mom if i could see her yet. she said to wait until after my girlfriends birthday. Birthday came and went. Couple more weeks went by, she asked if she could see me again. This time her mom replied No. Her reasoning being that I have messed up my girlfriend. How? Because my gf and i talk too much.

This isn't the first time her mom has done this. Her mom refuses to let my girlfriend see any of her friends with the exception of one, and threatens to shut off her phone for talking to all the others as well as states that if she doesn't do what her mom says or throws any attempt to rebel, her mom says that she will put her in a group home. and my girlfriend has also stated multiple times that she wishes she had different guardian.

This woman hasn't even met me, and refuses to for reasons unknown to us. My girlfriend and her father know that I am not a threat of harm to her, therefor there shouldn't be any reason why I cannot see her, or talk to her. I am a law abiding citizen, who works 10 hours a day, doesn't care to party, doesn't drink nor smoke, or do drugs, I've got my own place, and I pay all my bills on time that comes home, cleans house, eats, showers, sleeps and plays the occasional videogame. I have done nothing wrong to this woman or to her daughter, so I don't understand where this automatic hostility is coming from.

Now as i understand it....under the Guardianship and Conservatorship in Minnesota law...

She has "the right to communication and visitation with persons of the ward or protected person's
choice, provided that if the guardian has found that certain communication or visitation may
result in harm to the ward's health, safety, or well-being, that communication or visitation may
be restricted but only to the extent necessary to prevent the harm;"



Given that, I would say her mom is breaking that law. If I am wrong. Then explain how I am wrong.

Given this whole thing, we have discussed our options, and have decided that any attempt I make to reason with her mom is out of the question, after my girlfriend stated that her mom said she will get a restraining order on me. My girlfriend also wishes that I be her guardian. So, we have discussed it. And would like to go that route, seeing as her mom is not only restricting her rights, but is also inducing psychological fear, in an attempt to control her daughter.

I am wondering how to get this whole process started, and what steps I take first, and how to find a lawyer for this specific area of law.

I am aware, that I will be responsible for her, and I also realize what even doing this will do to her family. And I accept those responsibilities/consequences, even if our relationship doesn't work out, I can't just sit here knowing that her rights are being violated, and the law broken and abused by her mom.

I would like serious answers only as this is a very serious situation.
 
Rhae said:
My question involves guardianship in the State of: Minnesota.


This woman hasn't even met me, and refuses to for reasons unknown to us. My girlfriend and her father know that I am not a threat of harm to her, therefor there shouldn't be any reason why I cannot see her, or talk to her. I am a law abiding citizen, who works 10 hours a day, doesn't care to party, doesn't drink nor smoke, or do drugs, I've got my own place, and I pay all my bills on time that comes home, cleans house, eats, showers, sleeps and plays the occasional videogame. I have done nothing wrong to this woman or to her daughter, so I don't understand where this automatic hostility is coming from.
Click to expand...


Okay, Rhae, I'll address your situation in two parts.

There is no requirement for your friend's mother to speak to you, invite you into her home, or interact with you.

You could be President of the United States, and this woman could be a common citizen.

She has no duty to even acknowledge you.

You call it hostility, she might call it simply that she prefers her privacy and anonymity.

We are all free to choose.



Rhae said:
Now as i understand it....under the Guardianship and Conservatorship in Minnesota law...

She has "the right to communication and visitation with persons of the ward or protected person's
choice, provided that if the guardian has found that certain communication or visitation may
result in harm to the ward's health, safety, or well-being, that communication or visitation may
be restricted but only to the extent necessary to prevent the harm;"



Given that, I would say her mom is breaking that law. If I am wrong. Then explain how I am wrong.
Click to expand...

I'll accept your representation of the MN law regarding conservatorship as accurate and truthful.
What you've posted aligns well with what I know about conservatorships, and/or guardianships related to the care of adults.

Your friend's mother isn't required to allow her daughter to see you.
Why?
The excerpt from MN law says it all.
Think about it this way, and let's say your friend was 10 years old.
Yes, she isn't, but bear with me.
Her mother told you to leave my child alone.
You would have no recourse, as a parent is allowed to exercise total and complete control over their children.
Okay, in the case of your friend, a guardian has those same rights (if not more) because of a court order.
If the guardian says stay away, do yourself a favor and stay away.

Judges take it personally when people choose to violate their lawful orders.
How do I know?
Well, I'm a lawyer for one, and for two, I'm also a judge.

Do yourself a favor and just let this go.





Rhae said:
Given this whole thing, we have discussed our options, and have decided that any attempt I make to reason with her mom is out of the question, after my girlfriend stated that her mom said she will get a restraining order on me. My girlfriend also wishes that I be her guardian. So, we have discussed it. And would like to go that route, seeing as her mom is not only restricting her rights, but is also inducing psychological fear, in an attempt to control her daughter.
Click to expand...


If you know what's good for you, don't try that.
You are exerting an influence over a person adjudged to be mentally competent to govern her life.
Don't come between her and her guardian.
Besides, if you've never done more than speak to this fragile person, why is she willing to go along with this unlawful scheme?
No need to answer, she can't agree to anything.



Rhae said:
I am wondering how to get this whole process started, and what steps I take first, and how to find a lawyer for this specific area of law.

I am aware, that I will be responsible for her, and I also realize what even doing this will do to her family. And I accept those responsibilities/consequences, even if our relationship doesn't work out, I can't just sit here knowing that her rights are being violated, and the law broken and abused by her mom.

I would like serious answers only as this is a very serious situation.
Click to expand...

No, you won't be responsible for her.
No way the court, and certainly her mother/guardian will ever allow you to become the guardian of this at risk adult.
If any rights are being broken, its you breaking them, madam.

I suggest you speak with three or four local family law attorneys.
The initial consultations are normally offered free of charge.
That way you can affirm what I've told you.
I do hope you take the time to solicit the legal opinions of attorneys in your county.
Another option would simply be to call your local police agency and posit your situation as a hypothetical.
That way you can remain anonymous.
 
You don't say how old any of you are. Guardianship of an adult is not easy to obtain so this woman must have some pretty substantial limitations. Mom may be overprotective because of that but your chances of getting guardianship as a short term want to be girlfriend are slim to none. It is questionable as to whether Mom is overstepping her bounds but it is not your place to decide and you have no right or legal standing to challenge it. If you are working 10 hour days, you probably wouldn't be an appropriate guardian in any case.

It is unclear where the father is in all this. Is he married to the mother? Is he also a guardian?
 
Guess OP didn't like the answers she received elsewhere.
 
I just gotta find the words I long to read. I'll search, and I'll search until I read what I seek. LOL
 
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