AmethystWarrior
New Member
I have joint legal custody, no physical custody of my two children (ages 8 and 4). Everything takes place in ND.
When my ex-husband and I seperated, I took my kids and all their belongings. The actual divorce took about 2 years. We hired a custody investigator because he didn't want to pay child support and therefore was fighting me for custody. The custody investigator found that joint custody was a bad idea. My daycare lady, for reasons I don't know, decided not to testify against my ex-husband and instead told the custody investigator all the bad things he did about ME. The custody investigator recommended he get custody. I couldnt' afford more attorney fees, so I went with that.
I left my ex-husband for domestic violence purposes. The counselor I was seeing did not recommend getting the police involved nor did she help me find ways to fight him legally. Being economically disadvantaged, I had a difficult time with the attorney fees. In all honesty, I had no clue what do to because one doesn't usually think of these situations as happening to them.
The way my ex-husband treated and continues to treat my children remains the same. The only problem is that now I have visitation and they're subjected to his abuse more often.
He does not bathe my children. He does not purchase clothing that fits them properly. My four year old is not potty trained; she sits in wet pants all day long. My 8 year old has seen a dentist once in the past 2 years. He creates bizare rules.
My 8 year old is not allowed to take baths. He has to have 2 glasses of water before he can have 1 glass of milk, a maximum of 2 glasses of milk a day. He is over weight and has to go outside for one unsupervised hour a day, no matter the weather conditions. his only TV time is to play Wii Fit and only what my ex-husband says he can do. He is prepared "special" meals only for him and not allowed seconds. The nutrition content of these meals is not sound.
My 8 year old has asthma and allergies. Several doctors have recommended treatment and my ex-husband has refused to fill the prescriptions or follow up. He claims it's just because my kid is "fat." My 8 year old also has this nervous tic which has started as a strange blink and evolved over the last 2 years into a full body spasm that affects everything he does. My ex husband refuses to have this looked into, stating that it's just anxiety due to the divorce (2 years ago) and will go away. He does NOT believe in getting help for anything psychological-related as he's positive they're going to put my kid on meds and leave him there. My 8 year old's teacher has suggested maybe he has Torette's Syndrom.
My unpotty trained 4 year old has several behavioral issues as well, although it's not as big of a deal as my 8 year old. She is treated better than my son becasue she's a cute little girl.
Neither children has many toys. Their rooms consist of a mattress on the floor and a couple laundry baskets for clothing. He would explain that he is so broke because he has them, but he and his live in girlfriend make much more than I do.
My ex-husband and I can only communicate through email and it's very strained. I have brought these issues up to him many times and he just gets nasty and tries to attack me in any way he can. I admit that it has been difficult for me going from the main parent to the "side parent" but I only want them to be healthy and in relatively happy mind sets.
I need to know what I can do. If I call Social Services, when they go out to watch him he will just manipulate them. He will be kind, caring, attentive. That's what he did when the custody investigator was there. I cannot schedule appointments for my children as I am not the custodial parent. I've already talked to the clinic about it and they said that he has to do that. The most I can do is a walk-in clinic and they do not do much there.
Do I have any options? Am I all alone in this situation? I feel the need to note that I am 100% up to date on my child support and I also provide health, dental, and vision insurance.
When my ex-husband and I seperated, I took my kids and all their belongings. The actual divorce took about 2 years. We hired a custody investigator because he didn't want to pay child support and therefore was fighting me for custody. The custody investigator found that joint custody was a bad idea. My daycare lady, for reasons I don't know, decided not to testify against my ex-husband and instead told the custody investigator all the bad things he did about ME. The custody investigator recommended he get custody. I couldnt' afford more attorney fees, so I went with that.
I left my ex-husband for domestic violence purposes. The counselor I was seeing did not recommend getting the police involved nor did she help me find ways to fight him legally. Being economically disadvantaged, I had a difficult time with the attorney fees. In all honesty, I had no clue what do to because one doesn't usually think of these situations as happening to them.
The way my ex-husband treated and continues to treat my children remains the same. The only problem is that now I have visitation and they're subjected to his abuse more often.
He does not bathe my children. He does not purchase clothing that fits them properly. My four year old is not potty trained; she sits in wet pants all day long. My 8 year old has seen a dentist once in the past 2 years. He creates bizare rules.
My 8 year old is not allowed to take baths. He has to have 2 glasses of water before he can have 1 glass of milk, a maximum of 2 glasses of milk a day. He is over weight and has to go outside for one unsupervised hour a day, no matter the weather conditions. his only TV time is to play Wii Fit and only what my ex-husband says he can do. He is prepared "special" meals only for him and not allowed seconds. The nutrition content of these meals is not sound.
My 8 year old has asthma and allergies. Several doctors have recommended treatment and my ex-husband has refused to fill the prescriptions or follow up. He claims it's just because my kid is "fat." My 8 year old also has this nervous tic which has started as a strange blink and evolved over the last 2 years into a full body spasm that affects everything he does. My ex husband refuses to have this looked into, stating that it's just anxiety due to the divorce (2 years ago) and will go away. He does NOT believe in getting help for anything psychological-related as he's positive they're going to put my kid on meds and leave him there. My 8 year old's teacher has suggested maybe he has Torette's Syndrom.
My unpotty trained 4 year old has several behavioral issues as well, although it's not as big of a deal as my 8 year old. She is treated better than my son becasue she's a cute little girl.
Neither children has many toys. Their rooms consist of a mattress on the floor and a couple laundry baskets for clothing. He would explain that he is so broke because he has them, but he and his live in girlfriend make much more than I do.
My ex-husband and I can only communicate through email and it's very strained. I have brought these issues up to him many times and he just gets nasty and tries to attack me in any way he can. I admit that it has been difficult for me going from the main parent to the "side parent" but I only want them to be healthy and in relatively happy mind sets.
I need to know what I can do. If I call Social Services, when they go out to watch him he will just manipulate them. He will be kind, caring, attentive. That's what he did when the custody investigator was there. I cannot schedule appointments for my children as I am not the custodial parent. I've already talked to the clinic about it and they said that he has to do that. The most I can do is a walk-in clinic and they do not do much there.
Do I have any options? Am I all alone in this situation? I feel the need to note that I am 100% up to date on my child support and I also provide health, dental, and vision insurance.