- Jurisdiction
- New York
I have been married to my husband for 5 years. We lived together for 6 years total. My husband works full time for 4 years now, but I have been unemployed throughout our marriage. The reason for that is that I do not have a work permit. I am an immigrant. My husband is a US born American citizen. He said he'd help me get my immigration status before we got married, but after we got married he neglected that and basically said it's my responsibility alone. I finally hired an immigration lawyer myself this year and got my retired father to pay the lawyer's fees and the application fees. I also prepared all the applications and documents myself. The only thing my husband had to do was sign and provide me with information I could not have access to (his parents' foreign names, when he started working for his firm etc). I have a daughter from a previous marriage who is under 18. My husband pays the rent for the apartment we all live in, the electric bill and the internet bill. I take money from my retired father to pay for my daughter's and my groceries, clothes and other needs because my husband said he could not afford that. I also use that money to pay for our cellphone plans (while my husband has a plan with his parents), the gas I use for the car, and for doctor visits.
My husband has a car but his parents are making most of the car payments, including the insurance which is theirs. He pays for the oil changes and maintenance but complains that I contribute to most of the mileage and wear, so he is having to do oil changes and maintenance more often because of me.
I got him to add me onto his bank account this year because we need to have joint financials for me to get approval by immigration. Yet, he told me that I cannot use the money in the account for personal purchases or spending, but I can use it to buy basic things we need (cooking oil, cleaners etc) after I ask him for permission and tell him exactly what I'm buying. I purchased basic items a couple of times without asking because it was difficult and he threatened to take my debit card. He threatened to take it away a few times. He has a few thousand dollar savings in the account and he does not want his savings to go down, but up, and they have. When I ask him why he saves money he does not give me an answer.
I have health problems and have not been able to see doctors because I cannot afford it with my tiny budget for my daughter's and my basic needs.
My husband has pestered me about filing joint taxes for years and I have ignored his request because of the way he separates me from him financially, and the way he treats me (more like a stranger than a wife, controlling and emotionally cold). However, I gave in to his request this year because it is required by immigration that we file joint taxes, because we are supposed to have co-mingled financials and he is supposed to be my financial sponsor. In the precious years, my husband filed as single once, and as married but separate the year after. As a result, he owed the IRS money instead of getting a refund. The 2 years after that, he chose not to file his tax return, because of my refusal to apply joint, probably hoping I will change my mind. He knew that applying for joint return, since I am unemployed, would give him a decent tax refund. We are currently waiting for the return (estimated at a few thousand dollars), and I know that he will put the money in his account and tell me that I have no right to any of it. He has said before that it is his money because it is his tax return because he is working and I am not. I am still waiting for my immigration status to process, so I still cannot work.
My questions are: Do I have any right to the joint tax return money? If I do, what can I do if my husband denies me right to it? And how much would I have a right to? Is it legal for him to take my debit card away? Is it legal for him to force me to take money from my father for my needs and my daughter's instead of supporting those needs? Is it legal that he did not want to take responsibility for my immigration status, including paying for it? What can I do about it?
When I complained about the way things are, he threatened me with divorce. He also told me to leave our home once (I have nowhere to go), and to call immigration and tell them to deport me. Is it legal for him to force or intimidate me into signing divorce papers and giving up my alimony (he has tried that before)? If we do get divorced, do I get compensation for what he put me through?
I know it's a lot of information and questions. Thank you.
My husband has a car but his parents are making most of the car payments, including the insurance which is theirs. He pays for the oil changes and maintenance but complains that I contribute to most of the mileage and wear, so he is having to do oil changes and maintenance more often because of me.
I got him to add me onto his bank account this year because we need to have joint financials for me to get approval by immigration. Yet, he told me that I cannot use the money in the account for personal purchases or spending, but I can use it to buy basic things we need (cooking oil, cleaners etc) after I ask him for permission and tell him exactly what I'm buying. I purchased basic items a couple of times without asking because it was difficult and he threatened to take my debit card. He threatened to take it away a few times. He has a few thousand dollar savings in the account and he does not want his savings to go down, but up, and they have. When I ask him why he saves money he does not give me an answer.
I have health problems and have not been able to see doctors because I cannot afford it with my tiny budget for my daughter's and my basic needs.
My husband has pestered me about filing joint taxes for years and I have ignored his request because of the way he separates me from him financially, and the way he treats me (more like a stranger than a wife, controlling and emotionally cold). However, I gave in to his request this year because it is required by immigration that we file joint taxes, because we are supposed to have co-mingled financials and he is supposed to be my financial sponsor. In the precious years, my husband filed as single once, and as married but separate the year after. As a result, he owed the IRS money instead of getting a refund. The 2 years after that, he chose not to file his tax return, because of my refusal to apply joint, probably hoping I will change my mind. He knew that applying for joint return, since I am unemployed, would give him a decent tax refund. We are currently waiting for the return (estimated at a few thousand dollars), and I know that he will put the money in his account and tell me that I have no right to any of it. He has said before that it is his money because it is his tax return because he is working and I am not. I am still waiting for my immigration status to process, so I still cannot work.
My questions are: Do I have any right to the joint tax return money? If I do, what can I do if my husband denies me right to it? And how much would I have a right to? Is it legal for him to take my debit card away? Is it legal for him to force me to take money from my father for my needs and my daughter's instead of supporting those needs? Is it legal that he did not want to take responsibility for my immigration status, including paying for it? What can I do about it?
When I complained about the way things are, he threatened me with divorce. He also told me to leave our home once (I have nowhere to go), and to call immigration and tell them to deport me. Is it legal for him to force or intimidate me into signing divorce papers and giving up my alimony (he has tried that before)? If we do get divorced, do I get compensation for what he put me through?
I know it's a lot of information and questions. Thank you.
Last edited:
