What becomes of a chid in the case of the death of the parent with the primary custod

[Sgarrett]

My son has primary custody of his 4 year old daughter. Her mother is unreliable and irresponsible. She was given custody of her daughter every other weekend. She is not consistent in taking the child for her weekend. She was ordered to pay child support and has never paid a penney. My son has not made an issue of the child support. He is content with having his daughter with him the majority of the time, knowing she is safe while at home. My son and the child lives with me and my son's father. I help with the child, but we try to make my son the primary caretaker, etc. I am; however, no matter how you look at it, this child's female role model. My concern is what would happen if something were to happen to my son. Her mother cannot hold down a job and doesn't really have a permanent place to live. She has documented hospitalizations for mental health problems. Can a will be written to ensure that we as her grandparents would have at least primary custody of this child?

 

[Duranie]

The other parent generally has rights to custody upon death of the other parent. She is still mom and she does have some rights.

You cannot will a child. The child is not solely owned by him therefore he has no real rights to determine custody upon death. As a grandparent you may have some rights to visitation or even custody if you fight it but its not automatic. Dad can certainly state his wishes, but mom is mom and I'm sure she will put up a fight for custody.

On another note, some people may think that an adult son with child living with his parents is a little strange too.

 

[Sgarrett]

All you state is true, but Mom has proven to be irresponsible. I realize you cannot will a child, but wondered if stating in a will as to preference would carry any weight should a legal battle ensue. Obviously, the Mom is perfectly happy with the arrangement and did not fight for full or primary custody of this child. She barely can take care of herself, much less a four year old.

My son and his wife ran up alot of debt while married and he is living with us until he gets on his feet. This little girl needs a female influence and it has been helpful to my son to have a stable mother's influence on this little girl.

Thanks for the input.

 

[lwpat]

He certainly needs to do a will and can put his wishes in it. However, they are not binding. You need to keep a journal of any evidence you may need later to prove that she is an unfit mother.

 

[Sgarrett]

Thank you very much for your response. We have started keeping a journal of incidences. I appreciate the encouragement to do the will stating his wishes and the advice regarding the journal.