visitation roadbump, concerns about ex's g/f

[sami]

My husband and I separated after 26 years of marriage approx. three months ago with intent to divorce. We're hanging on til Jan for tax reasons, meanwhile he began dating a woman and having her sleep over at the house that he shares with my 16 year old son. My 11 year old daughters primarily stay with me. Over a fairly short period of time, he brought new g/f into my daughter's lives as well. The last time they spent the weekend, g/f and her daughter spent the night as well.

I've voiced my concerns, asking him to be discreet, give the kids time to adjust to our marriage ending before bringing his new lady and her children into their lives. He doesn't agree so it's continued.

Tonite I learned that she'd gotten into some trouble where she works, stealing pharmaceuticals. Apparently this occured sometime w/in the last six months.

I phoned ex and told him that I would not allow our kids at his place if she was going to be there. He did not agree.

What are my rights? I just took a job - graveyard shift and the arrangement was that while I worked, my kids slept over at his place. I have to go into work tomorrow night, my oldest son and his wife are renting my basement so my younger ones could certainly stay here. I know he will come to pick them up and I want to use the best possible approach.

 

[Duranie]

You really have no right to dictate what he does with the kids or who he brings them around. Of course it is terrible judgement for him to do this but he does not have to listen to you. If you want to retrict girlfriends access to the kids you are going to have it put in a court order but that is going to be hard to do if ex does not agree.

 

[sami]

Thanks for responding. I'm hoping ex will simply adjust his schedule with g/f so that hers and my children's paths do not have to cross at least for awhile. I'm working at resolving this calmly with him, do not want this to go to the next level and start fighting through the court system.