visitation/comtempt

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caroanne

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My son is awaiting a trial that will determine custody of his son. The current order is a temporay order for each parent to have equal visitation until until the trial and decision is court ordered. The mother has twice brought the child to our house (my son and his child live with us and pays rent) and left him here due to being evicted from her place of living. She has now found a new place and is demanding visitation. The child also just had surgery (post op day one) and we feel the place she is living is not safe nor sanitary. We are aware that by holding him here my son is in comtempt of court. The question is that she has threatened to call the police. Can she just call the police or does she need signed documents that force the issue. The court date is July 28.
 
With all due respect, you need to stay out of it. Because your son lives with you doesn;t mean you get to interfere with visitation. This is between mom and dad. Yes dad is in contempt and if he doesn't allow her to see the baby unsupervised, he can risk losing custody. I would not be risking it if I were him. Police probably will not do anything since its a civil dispute, depends on the officer.
 
I did not say that I was keeping the child. However, my son has been advised by his lawyer to keep the child here. I did not tell all that has transpired. I simply asked if the police would come to our house without a warrant signed by a judge? I also didn't ask for your opinion on my influence.
 
If she calls the police, they will come and probably allow her to file a report stating that the father is refusing her visitation. They will not force father to give the child to mother.

When mother and father go back to court, mother will have the police report showing that visitation was denied. That generally doesn't go over well. If father's lawyer has advised him to deny visitation, he must have a reason. I would want to know why.
 
Thank you, that was the answer I was seeking. The last place she was living did not have running water. They were evicted because of the sanitary conditions. Dogs living in the house. Feces on the grounds outside. Torn window furnishings. The child has been seeing an ENT for the last six months related to allergies. Has has several bouts with infection in the throat and ears. The father has made arrangements for visits to all doctor's and paid all expenses thus far for the child. He receives no support at present and is seeking primary custody. He doesn't want support from her, just primary custody. He also doesn't want to deny her visitation, just not overnights. The child was sleeping on a mattress on a floor the last home she had. To date all of her furniture is stored in mine and my husbands storage across the road. She has a key and access and can get this at anytime she wants it. She has not given us an address as to where she is actually living at this time.
 
There are several reasons for the the lawyer to tell us to keep my son to keep him here. The last place she was living was not sanitary. No running water. Dog living in the house. Feces all over the grounds outside. The neighbors reported that this was probably human feces as well as animal as they were seen out back emptying and going outside. She lived with a girl, the girls boyfriend, and her other son in a two bedroom trailer that was probrably 30 years old. All of them have a history of drug use. They were evicted because of the living conditions and there rent was not paid. This was the second eviction in a three month span. The dogs were left in the last home for several days, until they finally came and got them. The carpet was ruined.
 
He risks losing custody by witholding child from other parent. You do not "know" the conditions of new place. It might very well be the same but you dont know. Is this worth the risk? See if other parent can take child someplace else for visit that will work. Are there other children at the new place? It may be under handed but perhaps a CPS/Police welfare check might tell the conditions of new place. Regardless your son risks losing custody but not allowing Mom to visit child. Find a compromise!
 
He has told her she can come and get him for visit at anytime. Just not overnight because of the conditions. When she was evicted this last time she was living with some friends. They are all at a trailer park that has old trailers, cabin, and so forth sitting side by side with very little distance between. No play room, very little grass in the yards. If one catches fire the entire neighborhood will go up. That's how close the distance is between these homes. She has brought the child to us twice and left him until she can find another place to live. She has lived in a motel that rents rooms by the day by the night. She tries to move the visitation to the times that are convenient for her. But then claims she is being denied visitation. She has no phone, no car. She lost her car somehow.
 
I understand your concern but your not listenning. First this is Dad's fight "not yours" Second you do not "know" her current living conditions. Third any attempt by your or Dad to keep this child from its parent could have a very negative impact in court.
 
Then my son's lawyer is giving us the wrong advise. He was told that if he decided it was in the interest of the child due to safety and other reason's that he (the lawyer) would have no problem defending him at trial based on the issues that exist. I realize this is not my fight but this is my grandson and I do love him so therefore I am concerned and will do everything I can to protect him.
 
If you have proof that the other parents current place of residence poses a danger to child you might have an arguement. However you dont! Get the proof get CPS or some other agency to back you otherwise he risks contempt
 
He, not you, might also seek a compromise. This will be looked at favorably by the judge. In other words see if vists can take place somewhere other than her residence if it is indeed a hazard/danger to child
 
The father came in this afternoon. We discussed what you had told us. Took the child to the latest address given. Asked if she had phone, transportation, utilities. Also requested if she planned to stay with child this week. He can not go to daycare because he had surgery on Thursday. Doctor said he the child should be out of daycare for at least a week. She said that she planned for her friend to keep the child while she works. The friend has children of her own. Two. The mother keeps threatening with stalking, and accusing my son of abuse. The abuse is coming from her. She has thrown things at him, verbally abused by name calling, threatened to damage his car. We have had roofing tacks thrown in our driveway. He also asked when the child would be returned. We let her know that next Saturday there is a fun day planned at the church to kick off Bible school. She stated that she wouldn't allow him to go and would be him home at 3 pm. She is also accusing me of stalking because I drove through the parking lot of the place where she works. I did not get out nor come into contact with her at all. I did not even see her. I do not go up to her house nor call her at work. She calls here.
 
You seem to be very concerned for the placement of your grandson. You should also keep in mind how your grandson will feel about you latter on in life when it comes to your relationship with his mother. Legaly you might think you are doing what is all fine and dandy when realisticaly you could be causeing more trouble than you realize. I speak from experiance when I say this. No argument is one sided. "evil begets evil" in other words "a kind answer turns away rath." In court the judges are always having to listen to the "he said... she said" and watching the mud fly. That is why there are lawyers. To eliminate emotions and extract just the facts, well all thats left of them after the mudslinging anyway.
Next time she calls do not do or say anything to antagonize her and when she gets in her usual behavior be forgiving and do not responde in a manor that will only worsen the situation. I say this with all do respect, and am only offering wise advice. I hope you will have a better understanding of your grandsons perspective, put your self in her shoes then ask yourself what would your son think of you?
:angel are watching!
 
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