Hi,
So I was stupid enough to even try to get the dad involved in my son's life. He is taking responsibility because he does not want to look like a terrible person in front of friends & family. He's not interested in building a relationship or taking care of his son, hes made no effort to spend more time, he is very strict and making sure its 8 hours a week and no more. I have to force him to spend more time with him. My son is 2 and he acts out and has behavioral problems from the trauma of being forced to someone he doesnt acknowledge as a dad but more of a stranger. He comes back to me sick and/or with night terrors. He always give me reasons to cancel or moves around set appointed times. He refuses to spend time during free days & I know this is useless in court but it bothers me he spends more time and makes effort to spend more time with her than he does with his son. Hes always anxious to get rid of him b/c he has places to go or hes with his g/f. Hes always trying to work the times around his personal life. He pretends he loves his son and is interested in being his dad when its obvious hes not. A lot of times hes not prepared with necessities like carseat/stroller/clothes,etc. Whenever he sees his dad my jovial son because lethargic, depress, hides his face and sometimes cries because I'm forcing him to this 'stranger'. After 2 years, he hasnt done anything to have his son know him as a dad. I dont know what to tell the judge, last time, the judge told me to mind my own business and to let him be. I want to change judges pref. a female who can understand me. I dont know if thats easily done or if I have to give good reason. How can I tell the judge the important things succintly to convince the judge to cut off custody or force him to have overnight weekends or longer hours per wk, hes always giving excuse with school or work but amazingly he has time for his g/f between that so its b.s. He thinks hes a good father because he sees his son during those set 8 hrs & the fact that he took a day off school for him when technically he did it just to look good in front of the judge and the judge made him do it. He doesnt realize that his son is sick at times and does nothing to prevent it or even treat it. He has no interest in helping with dr. appts or meds, I take care of EVERYTHING and all he does is just sit there and watch him play during the 8 hours, hes a lazy dad that just does his thing without any attachment and leaves as if it was a dog we shared in a divorce that we have to share custody. Hes traumatized and he knows that hes being rejected going back and forth. Kids sense these things. We were never married but together for 4 yrs. He left me once he found out I was pregnant & got a 17 yr old g/f when hes 25, he loves to get drunk & hes been in many accidents & gotten lots of tickets. I figure I can tell the judge that I want him to be in a stable happy healthy enviornment where hes comfortable and doesnt always feel rejected but safe, wanted and loved and I desire to maintain continuity/permanence of familiarity. I was wondering how I can get supervised visits, the judge denied last time thinking it wasnt necessary but I want to know how he treats our son & make sure hes actually spending time and bonding with him not just sitting there and waiting for time to "put him back on the shelf'
Can I tell the judge that he tried to convince me for months to have an abortion, convince me not to keep this child, & how much this child was unwanted by him? How he ignored me and neglected me during my pregnancy to not help me? I had to force him to be back in my life to help me which he didn't, I did all the shopping for baby stuff to naming him, he only came for half of the pregnancy dr visits thats it. after that, he never went to a single dr visit with his baby. Whenever I needed help or was in distress, he wouldn't help me when his child needed him/his help. In an emergency situation, he was too selfish to drop what he was doing and be a dad & take care of his son.
I think it sucks Britney Spears suffered a lot of things because of what her ex said, but I can tell from experience that if I said that to the judge, it wouldnt effect his judgement. But I guess thats what good lawyers are for...
Thanks.
So I was stupid enough to even try to get the dad involved in my son's life. He is taking responsibility because he does not want to look like a terrible person in front of friends & family. He's not interested in building a relationship or taking care of his son, hes made no effort to spend more time, he is very strict and making sure its 8 hours a week and no more. I have to force him to spend more time with him. My son is 2 and he acts out and has behavioral problems from the trauma of being forced to someone he doesnt acknowledge as a dad but more of a stranger. He comes back to me sick and/or with night terrors. He always give me reasons to cancel or moves around set appointed times. He refuses to spend time during free days & I know this is useless in court but it bothers me he spends more time and makes effort to spend more time with her than he does with his son. Hes always anxious to get rid of him b/c he has places to go or hes with his g/f. Hes always trying to work the times around his personal life. He pretends he loves his son and is interested in being his dad when its obvious hes not. A lot of times hes not prepared with necessities like carseat/stroller/clothes,etc. Whenever he sees his dad my jovial son because lethargic, depress, hides his face and sometimes cries because I'm forcing him to this 'stranger'. After 2 years, he hasnt done anything to have his son know him as a dad. I dont know what to tell the judge, last time, the judge told me to mind my own business and to let him be. I want to change judges pref. a female who can understand me. I dont know if thats easily done or if I have to give good reason. How can I tell the judge the important things succintly to convince the judge to cut off custody or force him to have overnight weekends or longer hours per wk, hes always giving excuse with school or work but amazingly he has time for his g/f between that so its b.s. He thinks hes a good father because he sees his son during those set 8 hrs & the fact that he took a day off school for him when technically he did it just to look good in front of the judge and the judge made him do it. He doesnt realize that his son is sick at times and does nothing to prevent it or even treat it. He has no interest in helping with dr. appts or meds, I take care of EVERYTHING and all he does is just sit there and watch him play during the 8 hours, hes a lazy dad that just does his thing without any attachment and leaves as if it was a dog we shared in a divorce that we have to share custody. Hes traumatized and he knows that hes being rejected going back and forth. Kids sense these things. We were never married but together for 4 yrs. He left me once he found out I was pregnant & got a 17 yr old g/f when hes 25, he loves to get drunk & hes been in many accidents & gotten lots of tickets. I figure I can tell the judge that I want him to be in a stable happy healthy enviornment where hes comfortable and doesnt always feel rejected but safe, wanted and loved and I desire to maintain continuity/permanence of familiarity. I was wondering how I can get supervised visits, the judge denied last time thinking it wasnt necessary but I want to know how he treats our son & make sure hes actually spending time and bonding with him not just sitting there and waiting for time to "put him back on the shelf'
Can I tell the judge that he tried to convince me for months to have an abortion, convince me not to keep this child, & how much this child was unwanted by him? How he ignored me and neglected me during my pregnancy to not help me? I had to force him to be back in my life to help me which he didn't, I did all the shopping for baby stuff to naming him, he only came for half of the pregnancy dr visits thats it. after that, he never went to a single dr visit with his baby. Whenever I needed help or was in distress, he wouldn't help me when his child needed him/his help. In an emergency situation, he was too selfish to drop what he was doing and be a dad & take care of his son.
I think it sucks Britney Spears suffered a lot of things because of what her ex said, but I can tell from experience that if I said that to the judge, it wouldnt effect his judgement. But I guess thats what good lawyers are for...
Thanks.
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