starflower
New Member
This is on behalf of a friend who is suffering under an intense level of abuse right now. I will use the name Sue here, in order to protect her.
Sue has been married for 10 years, has had the foresight to have no children, and has been suffering under a form of manipulative abuse for years, which has exploded into physical abuse on several occasions. She cannot stay with her family, due to their betrayal of her on their part, which occurred because of the actions of her husband, who prides himself on being a "puppet master" who "plays the game" of manipulating people through lies and pits one person against another to suit his ends.
His ends are to control her.
The current situation is that Sue has found conclusive evidence that she is being recorded by either audio or visual means through various planted bugs throughout the house. A suspected bugged object, a clock, she has obtained and hidden so that she can check to see if it contains a bug. But she has no idea what steps to take if she found out and had the evidence for a bug.
Let me explain her financial situation:
She has been working ever since shortly after she was married for her husband's advertising agency. That is, she has run it with him, and in fact gave up her dreams of completing her nursing degree in order to help him. Five years ago, however, her Dad died, and, having had a fallout with the rest of her family in the aftermath, grieved alone at home, and falling off the map as far as the business was concerned. It was about a year when she picked up her some of her old duties again, but she was only working at home from this point on. HOWEVER, she did NOT receive a paycheck. Instead, her husband started giving her "allowance" as spending money, and if ever she complained, he would just say that he was providing a roof over her head and food in her mouth and that she couldn't complain. Of course, this would never fly in a traditional work set up, but Sue's hands were tied and she kept on getting her monthly spending money. Right now, she has slim to no money saved up in her name, and instead has a joint checking account with her husband. She plans on opening an online account, but she has no steady income stream, as now even the monthly spending money has been stopped by her husband, though she continues to work hard for the business.
One way that Sue's husband asserts his dominance and tries to further break her is through the business: by giving her work at the last minute (even more while she is under extreme stress), verbally abusing her during business phone calls, belittling her for "not working", etc. All the while, he works her into the ground for literally no pay, saying that she is "getting a check" in the form of half the house. The term for this is slave labor.
But this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as abuse goes. She has been choked, punched, thrown into the wall, even threatened with a knife as recently as a few days ago. She has taken pictures of all bruises she's received. But the physical abuse, brutal as it is, really has little effect on her compared to the emotional abuse. To give you some idea, before they got married Sue, who has a strong intuition, had a suspicion that her "best friend" was messing around with her future husband (who we will call Bill from this point on) to such an extent that she was on her knees begging him to tell the truth on multiple occasions, to which he would reply that she was crazy. At one point, she had become so suspicious, that she sat Bill down and made him tell every single relationship he'd had, and to swear on his life, the Bible, and so on that this was the truth. I'm sure you know where this is going. Two years ago, her friend visited her, got drunk, and tearfully told Sue that yes, she had in fact been messing around with Bill. There are many other episodes of deceit that occurred along the way. All of this adds up to her extreme pain at the fact that she is both extremely alone in the world (I am her only friend, literally), and that she had entered into marriage under "a lie", as she puts it. Really, there were multiple lies, even things like Bill promising he would never hang around in bars (which he used to broadcast radio from... Sue recalls several instances where she would come in and he'd be grinding with a girl on either side in the DJ's booth), which he now frequents to play pool.
Currently, it appears as if Bill is using multiple tactics in order to try and provoke Sue into doing something which would incriminate her (and record it), and thereby allow him to kick her out and leave her with nothing. No money, no degree, no friends, no family, and no where to go. I am her only support network, and I am not well off myself. Her and Bill's business, however, has been very successful (largely due to Sue's efforts), and Sue wants to be able to get what she can out of what she was in integral part of creating. Bill has tried to manipulate the situation so that he has control over the company, however, so it is a delicate situation. That is not the only reason.
Bill is connected to the head of the legal Bar in a large town in Louisiana, and Sue is afraid that she will be left with nothing simply due to ruthless legal maneuvering on his part. She has a very cheap lawyer paid for already, but does not want to use them.
She has no proof (but strong suspicions) right now of any infidelity within the marriage, although she has been called once and told anonymously by someone on the phone that Bill has an illegitimate child. So the burden of proof would be on her ability to show her abuse (as far as I know), and all she has as far as records go are the pictures of the bruises, which do not show Bill in the act. Sue is able to very passionately tell her entire tragic tale, but Bill is the worst kind of trickster, and without conclusive proof on Sue's part, he might still get his way.
And as far as going to a shelter goes, she has two dogs who have been her best non-human friends, and who get bruised any time they get out of sight and are around Bill. She does not have conclusive evidence, but she would do anything to keep the dogs safe - yes, even put herself in harm's way. And since shelters do not take animals, this poses a serious issue for her. Not to mention that, even with a shelter, something would have to be done about a divorce eventually, and Bill and his lawyer are still going to pose a problem.
Bill does everything in his power to try and destroy her mentally, and SHE NEEDS OUT. I am here on her behalf to ask these questions: What can she do? How should she approach her financial situation? How can she prove the abuse in court? What if she finds a bug, how can she trace it and confirm Bill planted it? What about a restraining order? What things should she pay attention to? What are the immediate steps she should take so she gets on the right track towards being free? How can she settle the divorce as quickly as possible, and get some piece of what she's done out of it? HOW CAN YOU HELP????
Every day, every minute she is suffering, and while I am usually able to help her through issues and be there for her, she needs some practical legal advice. It is like a prison camp for her, and she has been suffering under a terrible evil for too long. Please, I beg of you, reach into the depths of your knowledge to help her, and allow her to overcome this dangerous and twisted individual.
Sue has been married for 10 years, has had the foresight to have no children, and has been suffering under a form of manipulative abuse for years, which has exploded into physical abuse on several occasions. She cannot stay with her family, due to their betrayal of her on their part, which occurred because of the actions of her husband, who prides himself on being a "puppet master" who "plays the game" of manipulating people through lies and pits one person against another to suit his ends.
His ends are to control her.
The current situation is that Sue has found conclusive evidence that she is being recorded by either audio or visual means through various planted bugs throughout the house. A suspected bugged object, a clock, she has obtained and hidden so that she can check to see if it contains a bug. But she has no idea what steps to take if she found out and had the evidence for a bug.
Let me explain her financial situation:
She has been working ever since shortly after she was married for her husband's advertising agency. That is, she has run it with him, and in fact gave up her dreams of completing her nursing degree in order to help him. Five years ago, however, her Dad died, and, having had a fallout with the rest of her family in the aftermath, grieved alone at home, and falling off the map as far as the business was concerned. It was about a year when she picked up her some of her old duties again, but she was only working at home from this point on. HOWEVER, she did NOT receive a paycheck. Instead, her husband started giving her "allowance" as spending money, and if ever she complained, he would just say that he was providing a roof over her head and food in her mouth and that she couldn't complain. Of course, this would never fly in a traditional work set up, but Sue's hands were tied and she kept on getting her monthly spending money. Right now, she has slim to no money saved up in her name, and instead has a joint checking account with her husband. She plans on opening an online account, but she has no steady income stream, as now even the monthly spending money has been stopped by her husband, though she continues to work hard for the business.
One way that Sue's husband asserts his dominance and tries to further break her is through the business: by giving her work at the last minute (even more while she is under extreme stress), verbally abusing her during business phone calls, belittling her for "not working", etc. All the while, he works her into the ground for literally no pay, saying that she is "getting a check" in the form of half the house. The term for this is slave labor.
But this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as abuse goes. She has been choked, punched, thrown into the wall, even threatened with a knife as recently as a few days ago. She has taken pictures of all bruises she's received. But the physical abuse, brutal as it is, really has little effect on her compared to the emotional abuse. To give you some idea, before they got married Sue, who has a strong intuition, had a suspicion that her "best friend" was messing around with her future husband (who we will call Bill from this point on) to such an extent that she was on her knees begging him to tell the truth on multiple occasions, to which he would reply that she was crazy. At one point, she had become so suspicious, that she sat Bill down and made him tell every single relationship he'd had, and to swear on his life, the Bible, and so on that this was the truth. I'm sure you know where this is going. Two years ago, her friend visited her, got drunk, and tearfully told Sue that yes, she had in fact been messing around with Bill. There are many other episodes of deceit that occurred along the way. All of this adds up to her extreme pain at the fact that she is both extremely alone in the world (I am her only friend, literally), and that she had entered into marriage under "a lie", as she puts it. Really, there were multiple lies, even things like Bill promising he would never hang around in bars (which he used to broadcast radio from... Sue recalls several instances where she would come in and he'd be grinding with a girl on either side in the DJ's booth), which he now frequents to play pool.
Currently, it appears as if Bill is using multiple tactics in order to try and provoke Sue into doing something which would incriminate her (and record it), and thereby allow him to kick her out and leave her with nothing. No money, no degree, no friends, no family, and no where to go. I am her only support network, and I am not well off myself. Her and Bill's business, however, has been very successful (largely due to Sue's efforts), and Sue wants to be able to get what she can out of what she was in integral part of creating. Bill has tried to manipulate the situation so that he has control over the company, however, so it is a delicate situation. That is not the only reason.
Bill is connected to the head of the legal Bar in a large town in Louisiana, and Sue is afraid that she will be left with nothing simply due to ruthless legal maneuvering on his part. She has a very cheap lawyer paid for already, but does not want to use them.
She has no proof (but strong suspicions) right now of any infidelity within the marriage, although she has been called once and told anonymously by someone on the phone that Bill has an illegitimate child. So the burden of proof would be on her ability to show her abuse (as far as I know), and all she has as far as records go are the pictures of the bruises, which do not show Bill in the act. Sue is able to very passionately tell her entire tragic tale, but Bill is the worst kind of trickster, and without conclusive proof on Sue's part, he might still get his way.
And as far as going to a shelter goes, she has two dogs who have been her best non-human friends, and who get bruised any time they get out of sight and are around Bill. She does not have conclusive evidence, but she would do anything to keep the dogs safe - yes, even put herself in harm's way. And since shelters do not take animals, this poses a serious issue for her. Not to mention that, even with a shelter, something would have to be done about a divorce eventually, and Bill and his lawyer are still going to pose a problem.
Bill does everything in his power to try and destroy her mentally, and SHE NEEDS OUT. I am here on her behalf to ask these questions: What can she do? How should she approach her financial situation? How can she prove the abuse in court? What if she finds a bug, how can she trace it and confirm Bill planted it? What about a restraining order? What things should she pay attention to? What are the immediate steps she should take so she gets on the right track towards being free? How can she settle the divorce as quickly as possible, and get some piece of what she's done out of it? HOW CAN YOU HELP????
Every day, every minute she is suffering, and while I am usually able to help her through issues and be there for her, she needs some practical legal advice. It is like a prison camp for her, and she has been suffering under a terrible evil for too long. Please, I beg of you, reach into the depths of your knowledge to help her, and allow her to overcome this dangerous and twisted individual.
