Thinking about moving to VA

[wanno13]

I am engaged to a man who is in the Marines. I have a two year old daughter with my previous husband. We have joint cutsody but I have primary placement. My ex sees her every other saturday night which equals about 24 nights a year. We had a prior placement agreement where he got more time and he changed his mind and decided he needed time to himself and wanted less time with her, so we cahnegd it all legally. My fiance is looking at going to become an officer in the Marines which would make his career in the Marine Corps longer. We woudl like to move to Virginia to be near Quantico where he will be training but I won't leave without my daughter. I'm wondering what my chances will be if I were to ask the court to allow my daughter and I to leave. I am currently in college working on my history major and moving out to Virginia would greatly increase my chances of finding a job. I am willing to pay to bring my daughter back in the summer and on breaks to visit her dad. Even if my ex wanted more placement he woudlnt be able to get it because of his job: he has to get up and leave by 3 am and there is no one there to watch her. I have had to call the cops on him a number of times because he has threatened me and messed with parental rights but no arrests have been made. I'm not going to waste my money trying to move if i think it's is a dead end but then both me and my future husband are very limited in our job prospects.

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

Much of this would depend on whether your previous husband wishes to legally protest the changes in visitation that would be required if you moved.

Gail

 

[jharris352]

You are very likely to be able to move. It's common, happens all the time. Different arrangements would have to be made for visitation.

 

[Duranie]

You are going to have to go to court and ask for permission to move, or see if Dad will agree. Just because you are getting married, does not mean you get to move the child. See if you can work something out with Dad. Dad does have some rights here.

 

[jharris352]

I agree with Duraine, I didn't intend to say that you could just move. You have to re-arrange visitation agreements but it is rare that a Judge won't allow you to move if you have primary custody. Sometimes this creates a big issue with the father but it usually goes against him.

 

[jacksgal]

jharris: You claim to be an Attorney. Ok them why make assumptions? You make the assumption courts are biased towards Mother's not the rights of other parent.

 

[wanno13]

I have yet to talk about it to my ex but I'm pretty sure he;s not going to like the idea. He's all about the control and has used our daughter to hold control over me. i'm a little afraid to bring it because he was a very emotionally abusive and controlling person when we were married (hence, why we are divorced). I am planning on talking to an attorney and I would kind of like to know what has happened in the past to other peoepl in similar situations, so maybe he woudl be more willing to keep it out of court and work with me on possible solutions if I was able to convince him that there may be some risks involved. I don't want to "blackmail" him or anything. I just know that if he knows he is goign to win he will not even consider compromising with me. I want to be amlicable with him and keep this out court, as this would be the best possible things for my daughter.

 

[jharris352]

I never claimed to be an attorney, at least not currently. I went straight many years ago! The assumption of the law being biased toward the mother is well known and not an assumption. Further, in some states it is implicitly written into the law. Why do you think 95% of custodial parents are women? The law expressly favors the woman in custody matters.