There is no child abuse but third parties blew an argument out of proportion.

[leslie82]

Pretty much all my life I've seen in movies and tv shows where if a woman is upset with a man, she slaps him. Guy upsets her, insults her, makes her mad, she slaps him across the face. I've also heard all my life that "boys don't hit girls" but how many people have not bothered to teach the reverse to their girls? Consequently, a lot of women seem to have grown up with the idea that somehow a woman slapping a man isn't as big a deal as a man slapping a woman.

Men very often don't report it if they have a spouse who hits them. It's embarrassing to admit. Someone I know well was in a relationship like that, and he would pass off his bruises, scratches, and black eyes by saying that they happened doing sports. We all believed him. The last time she did it, he'd finally had enough and he called the police. They didn't actually arrest her but she was charged. Previously to that, she apparently felt like a woman hitting a man was not a big deal, and only women could be victims of DV, so I think it was a huge wakeup call for her.

I'm not saying the OP did anything like that, maybe this truly is the very first time they argued and she had never slapped him before, but I have to agree with leslie82, if this was the first time they'd EVER argued and she got mad enough to hit him, then that to me is worrying. Seems like once you've done something like that, it becomes easier for there to be a next time.

I say this to everyone on Facebook or when there is a discussion about men hitting women. Or I see the memes "real men don't hit women." I say "NO ONE should hit anyone if it's not self defense." It is wrong for women to abuse men. It's wrong for anyone to abuse their loved ones. Domestic violence is gender neutral.

If I had the money and ability I would open a shelter for men who are victims of domestic violence or find a way to set it up that men and women could be housed in a shelter. Different dorms or something separated so neither can be triggered. Because there is nowhere safe for men to go sadly. Men are not allowed at really any dv shelters.

Women hitting men is not a big deal. Ever see the scenario they did on "What Would You Do?" A woman slaps her boyfriend in the park and berates him and shoves him. Most people said "He probably had it coming." Or laughed. But a man was shoving a woman and it was "oh hell no."

Our society seems to think men should always be strong and women are weak.

 

[cynthiag]

Leslie, I agree with you wholeheartedly and truly wish that there were more resources available to men who are victims of DV. Every resource around here for victims of DV has the word "women" in its title. I once asked someone who is very involved in one women's shelter what happened to the men who were victims and she looked at me like I was crazy. Then she told me that IF there were any men who were victims (and she didn't seem to believe that there truly were, even though I could have introduced her to two of them right then and there) and they came to them for help, they would just tell them to go to the homeless shelter. For women, they help them get restraining orders if need be and offer lots of other counseling and support. For men, sorry bud, go stay at the homeless shelter if you don't want to go home and get smacked around again.

Yes, I have seen those "What Would You Do" scenarios and it is pretty sad the difference in reactions when the roles are reversed.