I apologize for the length, but I think you need the back story to understand where I'm at.
I was hired by a company to work full-time, temporary while someone was on maternity leave. If I was to be retained would depend on if there was a need when that person returned. That person came back, and on a day I had a job interview elsewhere, I was told that they intended to make me full-time, permanent once they found a place they could put me. Based on that assurance, and that things (up to then) were going well, I opted to refuse a job offer from someone who wanted to hire me to remain with this company. As their offer of pay was lower, I felt I was making the "smarter" choice (although my gut sensed I was making a bad move).
I am a high-functioning autistic (Asperger Syndrome). I have not disclosed this as disclosure is a double-edged sword...most disabled people find that disclosure gives an employer a reason to find a legally plausible way to terminate or not hire in the first place...regardless of if the disability does not impede the ability to do the job when reasonable accommodations are made. More so, I feel it is important to be able to prove myself as able to do the job without needing special treatment. In spite of this, the person I work under (but technically not a "supervisor") found me to be "strange," and the most I've said to her implying disability is that I had to "process" stuff to understand things.
For the first five months, I've been on my "Sunday best" behavior to avoid issues that might come from "being myself." I expect this of any job, as I need to learn where the social boundaries are, but while nobody has been mean towards me (and I have to admit that they probably have been very patient with me), I have never been able to "be myself." I have a dark and cynical personality and use sarcasm and humor to cope with stress. I have not been able to make the mildest of jokes without the people I spend the most time with finding the comments to be "rude" and "smart ass." Please keep in mind that other places and bosses have found my humor to be hilarious and not at all inappropriate. It is clear to me, that my personality simply will never mesh with this office culture.
Now, things have taken a sour turn.
I was offered a position in another department. I was interested, but the rub was that I was expected to continue in my current job (with most all the same expectations) and train in the new position. In essence, I was being told to do two jobs in the same amount of time. I know of nobody else working there (without benefits) who has that burden upon them. If they work more than one position in a day, they are only expected to carry a proportional load. My primary role has unpredictable events and mandatory duties that must get done. I can't just switch roles at noon and expect all will be well. I was already coming in 1 1/2 hours early and taking half a lunch (only what the law required) to try and keep on top of things. During the holidays, it all caught up with me and I started to get chest pains, nausea, back and neck pain...the onset of an anxiety attack...and that was my breaking point.
I wrote an e-mail to my new supervisor and told her I was already pushing 50 hours a week, and the expectation of my staying late as needed for finishing tasks or training was not going to work for me. By 5 pm, I have had a day of stress dealing with the demands of the job AND the personal emotional and mental stress of just enduring the work environment. (noise, stimulus and processing issues of interacting with coworkers).
Understandably, my prior/current and the new supervisor were not happy about this, but I had reached my breaking point and was not going do more than I was already tasked. I understood that this could result in my being let go, but I felt I was more than reasonable in giving 50 hours a week to try and make it work. I was scaled back to the original job I was doing, and someone else was hired to do the job for which they were training me. It is note worthy that this new person is not being made to do two jobs in the same day.
I have tried to not read ill will into anything that has happened since then, but I can't shake that they are trying to pressure me into quitting my job.
Office is predominately female (other than two high-ranking people, I'm the only man working in my area). The woman I work the most with does not have good chemistry with me. I'm sure she's been patient with me, but she is easily annoyed over things...and not just issues where clearly I've done something wrong, but she berates me over issues that boil down to "I don't understand why you don't do things the way I would do it." I never see or hear her treat others the way she treats me.
Often, I'm expected to know what I can't know. Answers to a question might be silence...which tells me nothing but clearly means something to others. I can assume an answer, but that's not how I like to operate. If I ask questions, sometimes it's not an issue, often it is because they seem bothered by my asking. To me, the two are mutually exclusive. Either I'm able to ask or I'm not to ask. I can't deal with a laundry list of when it is and is not acceptable to ask before acting. Being tasked to get something done but not have the authority to act is at the top of issues that wear me out.
The overt signs of trouble is that being made permanent means I should get benefits in 30 days from when the status changed. I was told before Thanksgiving. I received holiday pay for Thanksgiving (something that didn't happen before), indicating that I was now permanent. However, before the holidays, a coworker asked me about my vacation time, and indeed none had accrued on my pay stubs. This was a contradiction. As the pay period covering Christmas and New Year's came after I told them I could not make the new position work, I did not get holiday pay for those events, indicating that I am back to being temporary...even though by the time the issue came up, I had been over 30 days since Thanksgiving. Before that, every time I asked about when benefits might become effective, I was told I was nagging them about it.
This told me they either were not sincere about keeping me, or wanted to try and keep me until they really could not use me anymore.
I know full well that if they don't need me or want me, they can just let me go, but I'm suspecting that they want me to quit my job so they can't be affected if I get unemployment benefits. I've seen employers stoop to some pretty petty workplace behavior to make people so miserable that they get up and quit. I'd like to think these people are better than that, but frankly, I think I give people more credit than they deserve.
Since the holidays, it seems to me as if the pressure is slowly being increased. I wanted to stay with this company at first. Now, they've made me so miserable that I do not want to stay with them another week. The job has enough stresses in-and-of-itself, but having to deal with other people's histrionics is too much.
***
The problem is that the person I'd have to complain to is my supervisor, and, frankly, I see her as part of the problem.
***
I believe they (the company) aren't happy with me, and I've given up trying to please them as nothing I do is ever enough. I don't have a 3rd party who can "translate" my issues into something relatively non-offensive and work the issue. If they don't want to keep me, I want them to let me go. Maybe, months ago, I would have requested accommodation to make the situation work, but this position is not right for me. I need to be empowered to do my job, not micro-managed. They don't need a clerk, they need a drone (or someone like-minded enough that it's about the same thing). My predecessor did well because (as I understand it), she and the woman I now work for are related.
I honestly don't know how to read this situation or how to leave in a way that protects my right to unemployment benefits. The job was never permanent to start with, and it's not permanent at this time (as far as I can tell). Trying to pressure me into quitting (if that's what's happening) is just underhanded and disrespectful. I may not want to be unemployed, but I can't bear being in physical pain and physically ill from the stress I'm under every day...stress that has more to do with the people than the job duties I carry.
I was hired by a company to work full-time, temporary while someone was on maternity leave. If I was to be retained would depend on if there was a need when that person returned. That person came back, and on a day I had a job interview elsewhere, I was told that they intended to make me full-time, permanent once they found a place they could put me. Based on that assurance, and that things (up to then) were going well, I opted to refuse a job offer from someone who wanted to hire me to remain with this company. As their offer of pay was lower, I felt I was making the "smarter" choice (although my gut sensed I was making a bad move).
I am a high-functioning autistic (Asperger Syndrome). I have not disclosed this as disclosure is a double-edged sword...most disabled people find that disclosure gives an employer a reason to find a legally plausible way to terminate or not hire in the first place...regardless of if the disability does not impede the ability to do the job when reasonable accommodations are made. More so, I feel it is important to be able to prove myself as able to do the job without needing special treatment. In spite of this, the person I work under (but technically not a "supervisor") found me to be "strange," and the most I've said to her implying disability is that I had to "process" stuff to understand things.
For the first five months, I've been on my "Sunday best" behavior to avoid issues that might come from "being myself." I expect this of any job, as I need to learn where the social boundaries are, but while nobody has been mean towards me (and I have to admit that they probably have been very patient with me), I have never been able to "be myself." I have a dark and cynical personality and use sarcasm and humor to cope with stress. I have not been able to make the mildest of jokes without the people I spend the most time with finding the comments to be "rude" and "smart ass." Please keep in mind that other places and bosses have found my humor to be hilarious and not at all inappropriate. It is clear to me, that my personality simply will never mesh with this office culture.
Now, things have taken a sour turn.
I was offered a position in another department. I was interested, but the rub was that I was expected to continue in my current job (with most all the same expectations) and train in the new position. In essence, I was being told to do two jobs in the same amount of time. I know of nobody else working there (without benefits) who has that burden upon them. If they work more than one position in a day, they are only expected to carry a proportional load. My primary role has unpredictable events and mandatory duties that must get done. I can't just switch roles at noon and expect all will be well. I was already coming in 1 1/2 hours early and taking half a lunch (only what the law required) to try and keep on top of things. During the holidays, it all caught up with me and I started to get chest pains, nausea, back and neck pain...the onset of an anxiety attack...and that was my breaking point.
I wrote an e-mail to my new supervisor and told her I was already pushing 50 hours a week, and the expectation of my staying late as needed for finishing tasks or training was not going to work for me. By 5 pm, I have had a day of stress dealing with the demands of the job AND the personal emotional and mental stress of just enduring the work environment. (noise, stimulus and processing issues of interacting with coworkers).
Understandably, my prior/current and the new supervisor were not happy about this, but I had reached my breaking point and was not going do more than I was already tasked. I understood that this could result in my being let go, but I felt I was more than reasonable in giving 50 hours a week to try and make it work. I was scaled back to the original job I was doing, and someone else was hired to do the job for which they were training me. It is note worthy that this new person is not being made to do two jobs in the same day.
I have tried to not read ill will into anything that has happened since then, but I can't shake that they are trying to pressure me into quitting my job.
Office is predominately female (other than two high-ranking people, I'm the only man working in my area). The woman I work the most with does not have good chemistry with me. I'm sure she's been patient with me, but she is easily annoyed over things...and not just issues where clearly I've done something wrong, but she berates me over issues that boil down to "I don't understand why you don't do things the way I would do it." I never see or hear her treat others the way she treats me.
Often, I'm expected to know what I can't know. Answers to a question might be silence...which tells me nothing but clearly means something to others. I can assume an answer, but that's not how I like to operate. If I ask questions, sometimes it's not an issue, often it is because they seem bothered by my asking. To me, the two are mutually exclusive. Either I'm able to ask or I'm not to ask. I can't deal with a laundry list of when it is and is not acceptable to ask before acting. Being tasked to get something done but not have the authority to act is at the top of issues that wear me out.
The overt signs of trouble is that being made permanent means I should get benefits in 30 days from when the status changed. I was told before Thanksgiving. I received holiday pay for Thanksgiving (something that didn't happen before), indicating that I was now permanent. However, before the holidays, a coworker asked me about my vacation time, and indeed none had accrued on my pay stubs. This was a contradiction. As the pay period covering Christmas and New Year's came after I told them I could not make the new position work, I did not get holiday pay for those events, indicating that I am back to being temporary...even though by the time the issue came up, I had been over 30 days since Thanksgiving. Before that, every time I asked about when benefits might become effective, I was told I was nagging them about it.
This told me they either were not sincere about keeping me, or wanted to try and keep me until they really could not use me anymore.
I know full well that if they don't need me or want me, they can just let me go, but I'm suspecting that they want me to quit my job so they can't be affected if I get unemployment benefits. I've seen employers stoop to some pretty petty workplace behavior to make people so miserable that they get up and quit. I'd like to think these people are better than that, but frankly, I think I give people more credit than they deserve.
Since the holidays, it seems to me as if the pressure is slowly being increased. I wanted to stay with this company at first. Now, they've made me so miserable that I do not want to stay with them another week. The job has enough stresses in-and-of-itself, but having to deal with other people's histrionics is too much.
***
The problem is that the person I'd have to complain to is my supervisor, and, frankly, I see her as part of the problem.
***
I believe they (the company) aren't happy with me, and I've given up trying to please them as nothing I do is ever enough. I don't have a 3rd party who can "translate" my issues into something relatively non-offensive and work the issue. If they don't want to keep me, I want them to let me go. Maybe, months ago, I would have requested accommodation to make the situation work, but this position is not right for me. I need to be empowered to do my job, not micro-managed. They don't need a clerk, they need a drone (or someone like-minded enough that it's about the same thing). My predecessor did well because (as I understand it), she and the woman I now work for are related.
I honestly don't know how to read this situation or how to leave in a way that protects my right to unemployment benefits. The job was never permanent to start with, and it's not permanent at this time (as far as I can tell). Trying to pressure me into quitting (if that's what's happening) is just underhanded and disrespectful. I may not want to be unemployed, but I can't bear being in physical pain and physically ill from the stress I'm under every day...stress that has more to do with the people than the job duties I carry.
