Teacher unethical and unprofessional behavior

[Watchmefly]

Jurisdiction

Arizona

I am a single mother of a middle school student.
I believe this is a situation of a teacher taking advantage of their position among other things and I'm not certain how to handle.
My child's teacher made advances to me and he guaranteed that he was getting divorced and living as if separated. He became intertwined in my life, family and my child and other students became involved to know we were in a relationship. We'd been together for ten months until I found out very recently that he is not getting divorced. He'd been lying to me and everyone else.
Needless to say he hurt a lot of people.
My concerns are that he took advantage of his position. Exploited me, my child and other students.
He had taken me to his classroom alone and there were physical relations which I was not in the right frame of mind to think about at the time and caught of guard. I have concerns that he may have changed my child's grades too. There are many things he did unethically I believe as I'm finding out more truth.
Also, this is not the first time he'd taken advantage of his position. He was in a different school district, was married to a different women and had affair with his student teacher. They had 2 children together.
He has a very diabolical past which was a while ago and I've come to learn details as I discovered recently that he's been lying leading a double life from his current wife.
I am strongly concerned about how it's going to affect my child as they do not know yet, friends/students, my family, other single mothers or women and children being taken advantage of in the future. This teacher is a liability starting in a new school district where him and his wife will be teaching together. That was the plan as far as I know.
I have no idea on how to proceed and I have proof of everything over past ten months.
I can use advice as this is still fresh my finding out and I need clear guidance.
I am clear in my thought that he should not be teaching.
Thank you.

 

[hrforme]

Unless this goes against the school district's code of conduct, there's nothing illegal here unless you are stating he somehow forced you to be in this relationship. Whether it goes outside the conduct policy to date a parent, only your school district knows. Since he is leaving the school district I suspect they either already know OR they won't care since he is on the way out the door. You might be careful if you are thinking about contacting the new school district -- look up "Tortious interference, also known as intentional interference with contractual relations, in the common law of torts, occurs when one person intentionally damages someone else's contractual or business relationships with a third party causing economic harm."

How exactly did he exploit other students by dating you? Did he threaten negative consequences for your child if you refused? He sounds like a lying cheater, but that's not illegal. How long have you known about his affair with the student teacher (and yes, that person might have a sexual harassment case as a fellow employee and supervisory relationship if there was quid-pro-quo)?

Probably should have considered your child, other children, and the school long before this. You might consider some personal counseling for both yourself and your child. Because believing "he was getting divorced and living as if separated" IS not the same as him being separated and/or getting divorced. I always wonder why so many women fall for that line. He's either married, separated or divorced and can show you the legal paperwork...or a cheater.....

 

[adjusterjack]

It takes two to tango. You're as much to blame for the involvement as he is. You could have said no from the getgo. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that getting involved with your child's teacher isn't the smartest thing to do.

You're as bad as this woman, denying culpability for the mess she got herself into:

How can I recover money owed to me by my ex-boyfriend in Texas?

 

[army judge]

There will be many times in our lives we'll be confronted with choices.
Some choices are easy.
Other choices seem baffling.
If you're ever in doubt as to how to proceed, you'll harm yourself less by simply saying, "No thanks."

Saying "no" lessens the possibility of being bamboozled, conned, scammed, or fleeced.

If you find saying "no" to be difficult, say nothing, it won't be seen as "yes".

However it is your life.

You are the supreme master of your fate.

No one can protect you like you should be protecting you.

 

[mightymoose]

I agree that you haven't described anything that supports the claim he has abused his position.
However you have described conduct I think the school would be concerned with.

If you choose, you can report the conduct you are concerned about at the following link. Don't exaggerate. Just tell what you are concerned about and the appropriate authority will investigate.

Reporting Immoral or Unprofessional Conduct of Educators | Arizona State Board of Education

 

[cbg]

Do not expect the Board of Education to come back and tell you the results of their investigation or what action they took. The last thing you will hear from them is, "Thank you - we'll look into it". You're not going to get your big moment of satisfaction when they tell you what, if any, punishment he gets. There are privacy rules that prohibit them from reporting back to you. So if your goal here is the big "aha" moment, it's not going to happen.

 

[zddoodah]

My concerns are that he took advantage of his position. Exploited me, my child and other students.

How do you figure? He made advances, which you accepted and reciprocated. You, as a parent, should have had the common sense to reject the advances as not a good idea -- at least as long as your child was his student.

He had taken me to his classroom alone and there were physical relations which I was not in the right frame of mind to think about at the time and caught of guard.

So, basically none of this stuff that you willingly did is your fault?

I have concerns that he may have changed my child's grades too.

Are there any actual facts that support this?

I can use advice as this is still fresh my finding out and I need clear guidance.

I'm not really sure what you're asking since your post doesn't clearly raise any legal issue. You're free to report this guy to the school's principal and/or, if it's a public school, the school board.

 

[leslie82]

I am a single mother of a middle school student.
I believe this is a situation of a teacher taking advantage of their position among other things and I'm not certain how to handle.
My child's teacher made advances to me and he guaranteed that he was getting divorced and living as if separated. He became intertwined in my life, family and my child and other students became involved to know we were in a relationship. We'd been together for ten months until I found out very recently that he is not getting divorced. He'd been lying to me and everyone else.
Needless to say he hurt a lot of people.
My concerns are that he took advantage of his position. Exploited me, my child and other students.
He had taken me to his classroom alone and there were physical relations which I was not in the right frame of mind to think about at the time and caught of guard. I have concerns that he may have changed my child's grades too. There are many things he did unethically I believe as I'm finding out more truth.
Also, this is not the first time he'd taken advantage of his position. He was in a different school district, was married to a different women and had affair with his student teacher. They had 2 children together.
He has a very diabolical past which was a while ago and I've come to learn details as I discovered recently that he's been lying leading a double life from his current wife.
I am strongly concerned about how it's going to affect my child as they do not know yet, friends/students, my family, other single mothers or women and children being taken advantage of in the future. This teacher is a liability starting in a new school district where him and his wife will be teaching together. That was the plan as far as I know.
I have no idea on how to proceed and I have proof of everything over past ten months.
I can use advice as this is still fresh my finding out and I need clear guidance.
I am clear in my thought that he should not be teaching.
Thank you.

How is this him abusing his position as a teacher? He's not your teacher. If he had abused your child by using his authority as a teacher - that's abusing his position.

You chose to have an affair with a married person. That's on you. Him having an affair with adults has nothing to do with his position. If you knew he was a cheater why would you ever have gotten with him?

No one took advantage of you. You were just naive. Cut off communication with him. If you can move your child into another classroom try that. But I fail to see how he broke the law in any way except perhaps having sex with you in the classroom maybe.