Stepparent Adoption

[act93000]

I am eighteen years old. My son is 16 months old and I have been married to my husband for 4 months now. My son's biological father has never been around. He has paid me maybe 5 months of child support since my son has been alive. He has also only seen him fifteen to twenty seperate times since he has been born. He and his family denied my son being his the entire time I was pregnant and his family still says that they aren't sure. He joined the Marine Corps before I gave birth to my son and left for boot camp when he was 3 weeks old. He failed a urinalysis after a year in the Corps and then went AWOL for 2 weeks. He was then placed in the Brig (a jail on a Navy base) and was kicked out of the Marine Corp with a Bad Conduct Discharge. He does not try to contact his son and will only pay child support when I force him to. I had to talk with a Naval lawyer to start the child support while he was in the Brig, now that he has been let out of the Brig, the direct deposit into my checking account for child support will be terminated. Even then, he only paid me $160 per month. I have asked him to let my husband adopt my son because he is providing food, shelter, clothing, medical insurance and all other necessaties for me and my son. My husband loves my son. My son calls my husband Daddy and does not recognize his biological father. He refused. I wanted to know what I needed to do to let my husband adopt my son? Do I get full custody of my son and then let my husband adopt him? or will my ex boyfriend still have to consent to it? My boyfriend signed the birth certificate. What is the best thing for me to do? PLEASE HELP??!!! I need some legal advice. Thanks, Amanda

 

[Michael Wechsler]

The best legal advice you can get is from your own attorney, since he or she will be able to provide you with a full consultation after review of all the relevant facts and circumstances of your specific situation. You may also want to discuss any potential involvement of grandparents, who generally are not given many rights with regard to a grandchild.

My understanding is that when adoption by a stepparent occurs, the rights of the biological parent being ousted is terminated. Generally, the consent of the other biological parent is required in order for a stepparent to adopt. I believe that in consenting to the adoption, the ex might be completely out of the picture and it would seem as though this would be something he might consider, especially financially. That is the easiest way. Otherwise, you may very likely need a court to oust your ex from the picture, either due to abandonment or neglect (which this may not be the case as it usually requires 1 or 2 years of abandonment), or for other reasons. While consent is sometimes not needed if the child was born out of wedlock, the ex did sign the birth certificate and it seems that the situation is a bit more complicated. I can say with a good measure of confidence that your ex being dismissed from the Marine Corp with a dishonorable discharge will not itself allow you to go through with the adoption without his consent if consent is required.

Laws vary from state to state as well as in the country that you are in.