Step-mom is not nice

L

Lovemyfamily

New Member
Jurisdiction
Wisconsin
My children are 10 and 11 do not like their step-mom and step siblings. My 11 year has told me she doesn't want to go to her dad's house any more because of step mom. Step mom is mean to my two kids. She belittles them. Tells them she doesn't like what they wear (kids are forming their own opinion on clothes and that) tells them they are bad kids. Kids have a hard time standing up to step-mom because they are afraid of her. They have told their dad about things step mom does and he just brushes it off. He won't put step mom in her place when it comes to his kids. Step mom has hit 10 year old in the head for giving the animals too much food. She has taken away things from the kids for forgetting to shower, not cleaning their plate at dinner, forgetting to do chores. She screams at them before assessing the situation. She blames them for everything when her child is at fault for it. I've tried to talk to dad about it and he won't talk to me at all. I am not sure what to do or what legal action I can take. I can't afford an attorney. I just want to take my kids out of that environment. (dad and i have 50/50 custody it's in our divorce papers)
 
Based on just what you've posted, you are not going to be able to take them away from Dad because they don't like stepmom and her rules, and she's mean or unfair. Sorry, it sucks for your kids.
I agree that you need to help them learn to cope. Encourage them not to do things like forget to shower, or forget to do chores. Advise them to clean their plates, for example.
 
I am trying to teach them coping skills. It is very hard with the younger one because he is a special needs child (a high functioning one).

Step-mom is the one who hands out all punishments. I don't like the fact she spanks, hits them with her hands or spoons belts or what not. She shouldn't be the one doing the punishing- it should be their father. (their father doesn't punish them)

Yes I punish my children- I try not use physical punishment for them unless it is the last resort. I am trying to teach my children that violence isn't the answer to solve problems.
 
Lovemyfamily said:
I don't like the fact she spanks, hits them with her hands or spoons belts or what not.
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That's child abuse. Report it to the police and Child Protective Services. Get it on record every time it happens. If the issue becomes serious enough, CPS could remove the children and the authorities could charge stepmom with child abuse.

Sorry, but if you aren't capable of taking this to that level, nothing changes.
 
You might not like that she spanks, but it is legal and between she and your ex. It is extremely unlikely that CPS will remove the children based on a spanking for not doing chores. There would be almost no children still living with their parents if that was all it took to lose custody. The bar for abuse is pretty high, but if this is truly over the line, sure report it. Keep in mind that if you are also spanking, that will be investigated as well.
 
Spanking a child on the behind is not abuse. It could be if the spankings are really excessive, leaving bruises or welts from the belt.
 
txls said:
Spanking a child on the behind is not abuse. It could be if the spankings are really excessive, leaving bruises or welts from the belt.
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Spanking with the hand, may not be abuse, but stepmom hits a child on the head, hits with spoons and belts. Yeah, that's abuse.
 
Its not your call what is abuse really let CPS make that call. Report the supposed abuse and let CPS investigate. In mean time you need to give your children coping skills and you need to learn to co parent your children. I belong to a parenting forum. There you can find other parents who have had issues similar to yours. Find out from them what worked and what did not. Spanking is not widely accepted by most CPS agents but wont likely resul tin removal. However using a spoon, belt etc is abuse as is hitting anywhere other than clothed buttocks. Again report the abuse and let CPS go from there. You might also talk to your Attorney about custody change.
 
Lovemyfamily said:
Step mom is mean to my two kids.

I can't afford an attorney.

I just want to take my kids out of that environment.


(dad and i have 50/50 custody it's in our divorce papers).
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You were told in your previous threads that the help you require can't be obtained GRATIS.

Very few people will assist you financially in seeking solutions to your problems.

If you suspect ANY PERSON is being abused or battered, call "911" and bring it to the attention of law enforcement.


You might wish to have your children physically and psychologically evaluated, in an effort to determine if your suspicions are correct.

If anything is discovered, you can see to it that the children can begin receiving medical or psychological treatment.

If you suspect ANY child is being neglected, abused, molested, or battered; report the matter to your state's child protective agency.

In your state that agency is known as the Wisconsin Department of Children and Families.

The link below will direct you to their official website.

Wisconsin Child Protective Services County Info Map

You might consider taking classes to assist you in accepting things you can't change.

You should also learn to stop judging the actions of others and focus on improving yourself as a person and a mother.
 

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