I have a unique situation...but whose isn't on this site? I am the oldest of four children and have grown up in a very dysfunctional family. I did everything I could after graduating high school to leave my parent's house and still remain on good terms with them. I am now 23 years old with a career, college degree, husband, and a nice house and good credit. However, I was hoping that my parents would improve as more children moved out of the house...this has not happened and I am concerned about my sister's living conditions.
This might be more of an unfortunate situation, rather than something that can receive legal action.
Back in 2003, my mother injured herself to the point of permanent disablility. She now is legally disabled and recieves SSI. She also takes a lot of medication to control the pain including morphine which prevents her from interacting with my sister and two brothers that are still in school. Sometimes she is awake, alert, and can do the normal things that most mother's do. However, this is about 5% of the time. Meanwhile, my father works for a computer company spending about 75% of the week working at home and the rest commuting two hours away in Oklahoma City. He has family that lives in the City and usually will spend the night when he has to commute. So who is watching after my siblings? Nobody. Usually my mother is asleep and drugged 24/7 with her bedroom door shut.
I'm also concerned about the living conditions. The house is trashed...but that's not the biggest problem. My parents are in a huge amount of debt due to medical bills and unwise spending patterns; however, they also think it is necessary to not only feed every stray cat in the neighborhood, but to also invite it to live inside. I've lost count of the number of cats they have, and an old laborador. To make matters worse, one of the cats got pregnant and had kittens in my sister's room. My mother decided it was necessary to leave the kittens where they were born--under my sister's bed. So for about 2 months my sister had to sleep in the living room because her room smelled too bad to sleep in. That would be alright, except my brother and father like to stay up late into the night/early in the morning watching television and playing video and pc games. So my sister was unable to get adequet sleep during school nights because she didn't have a quiet place to sleep.
She is also the primary cook and housekeeper for the family. There are no structured meals, since my mother is mostly checked out and my father decides not to cook half the time. No one washes dishes, and apparently it is her "chore" to wash all of the dishes for the family and clean the kitchen. She often has had to stay up late into a school night cleaning because she was gone to a school activities (academic team, FFA, Speech, etc. ) and my parents won't let her go to bed until her chores are done. She also has been given complete responsibility of cleaning up and feeding the kittens that have now taken over her room.
I have a guest bedroom in my house. I try to invite her over as much as possible to spend the night. I am a teacher at the school she goes to, so I help her with her home work, give her structured meals, and send her to bed at 9, and get her to school on time. I felt bad, after a few days of spending the night at my house, she said she was feeling healthier and could breath through her nose...my husband and I suspect she has animal allergies. She's 13 years old, and a very talented young lady. I just hate to see how she is treated and the conditions she is living in. I don't want this to affect her future...as a teacher I've seen what can happen to smart kids in a bad home. I've tried to make nice with my parents as well as I can...they often get jealous of her coming over and then it can be weeks before she is allowed to see me again.
Why am I not helping my other siblings? My 18 year old brother ran away and is living in another home...he will graduate from high school next month. My other brother is 16 and doesn't recieve the same treatment. My parents don't make him clean...they give him money and provided him with a car to drive. He has no limitations on where he can go and what he can do. He has no interest in leaving his current situation.
My husband and I have discussed calling CPS/DHS about the living conditions and the lack of supervision, but I'm afraid it won't be enough to produce positive outcomes.
We would really like to just have her live with us, but since my parents often get upset with us and my grandparents (who are also trying to help) they pretty much just don't let us see the kids for periods at a time. I just don't see a positive mediation...I think if I talk to my parents they'll just get upset and not let me see her. I want to help her be successful, I want to help her live in a healthy, structured, clean environment..whether that is with us or other family...is there anything I can do on the legal side?
This might be more of an unfortunate situation, rather than something that can receive legal action.
Back in 2003, my mother injured herself to the point of permanent disablility. She now is legally disabled and recieves SSI. She also takes a lot of medication to control the pain including morphine which prevents her from interacting with my sister and two brothers that are still in school. Sometimes she is awake, alert, and can do the normal things that most mother's do. However, this is about 5% of the time. Meanwhile, my father works for a computer company spending about 75% of the week working at home and the rest commuting two hours away in Oklahoma City. He has family that lives in the City and usually will spend the night when he has to commute. So who is watching after my siblings? Nobody. Usually my mother is asleep and drugged 24/7 with her bedroom door shut.
I'm also concerned about the living conditions. The house is trashed...but that's not the biggest problem. My parents are in a huge amount of debt due to medical bills and unwise spending patterns; however, they also think it is necessary to not only feed every stray cat in the neighborhood, but to also invite it to live inside. I've lost count of the number of cats they have, and an old laborador. To make matters worse, one of the cats got pregnant and had kittens in my sister's room. My mother decided it was necessary to leave the kittens where they were born--under my sister's bed. So for about 2 months my sister had to sleep in the living room because her room smelled too bad to sleep in. That would be alright, except my brother and father like to stay up late into the night/early in the morning watching television and playing video and pc games. So my sister was unable to get adequet sleep during school nights because she didn't have a quiet place to sleep.
She is also the primary cook and housekeeper for the family. There are no structured meals, since my mother is mostly checked out and my father decides not to cook half the time. No one washes dishes, and apparently it is her "chore" to wash all of the dishes for the family and clean the kitchen. She often has had to stay up late into a school night cleaning because she was gone to a school activities (academic team, FFA, Speech, etc. ) and my parents won't let her go to bed until her chores are done. She also has been given complete responsibility of cleaning up and feeding the kittens that have now taken over her room.
I have a guest bedroom in my house. I try to invite her over as much as possible to spend the night. I am a teacher at the school she goes to, so I help her with her home work, give her structured meals, and send her to bed at 9, and get her to school on time. I felt bad, after a few days of spending the night at my house, she said she was feeling healthier and could breath through her nose...my husband and I suspect she has animal allergies. She's 13 years old, and a very talented young lady. I just hate to see how she is treated and the conditions she is living in. I don't want this to affect her future...as a teacher I've seen what can happen to smart kids in a bad home. I've tried to make nice with my parents as well as I can...they often get jealous of her coming over and then it can be weeks before she is allowed to see me again.
Why am I not helping my other siblings? My 18 year old brother ran away and is living in another home...he will graduate from high school next month. My other brother is 16 and doesn't recieve the same treatment. My parents don't make him clean...they give him money and provided him with a car to drive. He has no limitations on where he can go and what he can do. He has no interest in leaving his current situation.
My husband and I have discussed calling CPS/DHS about the living conditions and the lack of supervision, but I'm afraid it won't be enough to produce positive outcomes.
We would really like to just have her live with us, but since my parents often get upset with us and my grandparents (who are also trying to help) they pretty much just don't let us see the kids for periods at a time. I just don't see a positive mediation...I think if I talk to my parents they'll just get upset and not let me see her. I want to help her be successful, I want to help her live in a healthy, structured, clean environment..whether that is with us or other family...is there anything I can do on the legal side?
