Signing over rights

[Purple_monkey]

Jurisdiction

South Dakota

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and together for 2 1/2. My husband has only be aloud to see his son twice since we have been together. She claims that my husband is abusive and will take off with thier kid. My husband and I don't have any criminal or legal history for that matter. The mothers family does not care for my husband and never has. They have a lot of money and seem to know or be assosicatedited with everyone in our small town. The ONE time that my husband was aloud to be with his son for a day with out the mother, she called and threatened and harassed us the whole day. We have tried to be civil and asked to see the son but she always has some excuse as to why we cant see him. We don't have the money to take her to court for visitation. He is currently paying child support but the mother dosent feel that he pays enough. My husband would like to sign over his rights to the mother. We don't have the money or energy to keep fighting this battle. We have 2 other kids that need our attention. How does he go about getting this done?

 

[army judge]

Relinquishing one's parental rights doesn't mean you also extinguish your parental obligation to pay child support.

I suggest you have your husband discuss his concerns with a lawyer or two in your county.

 

[leslie82]

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and together for 2 1/2. My husband has only be aloud to see his son twice since we have been together. She claims that my husband is abusive and will take off with thier kid. My husband and I don't have any criminal or legal history for that matter. The mothers family does not care for my husband and never has. They have a lot of money and seem to know or be assosicatedited with everyone in our small town. The ONE time that my husband was aloud to be with his son for a day with out the mother, she called and threatened and harassed us the whole day. We have tried to be civil and asked to see the son but she always has some excuse as to why we cant see him. We don't have the money to take her to court for visitation. He is currently paying child support but the mother dosent feel that he pays enough. My husband would like to sign over his rights to the mother. We don't have the money or energy to keep fighting this battle. We have 2 other kids that need our attention. How does he go about getting this done?

Your husband is the one who has to legally deal with this. Most judges aren't going to let parents sign over their rights just to get out of child support. My divorce lawyer even told me that most judges hate when a parent tries to do that.

In most states there has to be someone willing to adopt the child as in a stepparent adoption.

So your husband is willing to give up all his rights to his child? The other post is right - some places you still have to pay child support even if your rights are terminated.

What's the court order for visitation? If she isn't following the court ordered visitation he needs to take her back to court for contempt. Child support is NOT a reason to disallow visitation and is illegal. Lots of custodial parents do it (my ex's first wife did that all the time). It doesn't matter what she thinks is appropriate support. If she doesn't like the amount she can go to court and file for it to be modified. Until it is, she takes what she gets. I would give her a big ass wake up call if I was your husband and drag her ass to court and let her explain to the judge why she's violating the order and back it up with proof.

Sounds like maybe the kid is better off if your husband doesn't have the "energy" to fight for his child. Sorry but I would do everything humanly possible to have my child if she was not in my life or I wasn't the custodial parent. Nothing would keep me from her.

 

[Purple_monkey]

In our state visitation and support are separate. It's not that he dosent have the energy, it's that we can not financially afford to take her for visitation. The fight has already cost us a lot and we have gotten now where....there is no visitation in place at this time. The judges in our county are all friends with her family, which causes even more issues. We have asked to have it heard in another County and where denied.

 

[leslie82]

In our state visitation and support are separate. It's not that he dosent have the energy, it's that we can not financially afford to take her for visitation. The fight has already cost us a lot and we have gotten now where....there is no visitation in place at this time. The judges in our county are all friends with her family, which causes even more issues. We have asked to have it heard in another County and where denied.

Were they married when the child was born? Because in 2014, South Dakota passed their "Shared Parenting Law" which encourages shared parenting in divorces. That is considered by the court. South Dakota's New Shared Parenting Law - What It Means for South Dakota Parents

South Dakota Custody & Visitation Schedules: Samples & Standards (SD)

http://www.sdlegislature.gov/Statutes/Codified_Laws/DisplayStatute.aspx?Statute=25-5&Type=Statute

Parenting Time Forms - government parenting time forum for South Dakota

If they were unmarried when the child was born and there's no custody arrangement then yes she has custody. If there's no visitation plan in place, he's screwed until he gets one.

Granted I know South Dakota is a messed up state in some of these cases. When I was married to my ex, his oldest son (not with his ex wife) was removed from his home with his mother and stepfather. He and his siblings up there were all taken because my then stepson went to school and showed them welts he had from where his stepfather beat him. CPS up there dicked around and really didnt' keep my ex or his family informed on a lot of things. I had told him to fight for custody but he has his own issues. The mom ended up in jail. Guess who has custody of my ex's son? The stepdad who beat him with a belt and who knows what else. And the other three kids (who are his stepdad's kids with his mom she married after my ex). So this poor kid got bounced around foster homes and then ended up with this pos who abused him. My ex is still in no place to fight for custody. If I could I would. This kid is 14 now and has no stability. No good role models. I won't be surprised if he ends up in juvie soon. No one has heard from him since July. His FB disappeared. The stepdad asked my ex mother in law to pay child support and that's all anyone has heard. So I get how fucked up South Dakota can be. But he needs to fight. He needs to get a court ordered visitation plan in place. Somehow. It's not fair to that kid to lose his dad and then find out it was because lack of money? I would be heartbroken if I found that out about one of my parents. Especially when his ex could fill that kid's head full of lies.

It's your husband's decision but he won't likely get his rights terminated unless his ex has a husband who is willing to adopt.

 

[Purple_monkey]

They where not married. She has a horribly criminal history with drugs and abuse. But every time it's brought up, it's dismissed because of one reason or another. We have spent the last year trying to get some sort of visitations and have gotten now where but 10k in debt. I don't think there will ever be someone to presay adopt the kid since she has a new guy every month.

 

[leslie82]

They where not married. She has a horribly criminal history with drugs and abuse. But every time it's brought up, it's dismissed because of one reason or another. We have spent the last year trying to get some sort of visitations and have gotten now where but 10k in debt. I don't think there will ever be someone to presay adopt the kid since she has a new guy every month.

Then no judge is likely to allow him to terminate his rights.

Until he gets a court order, she has all the say. Sorry.

 

[army judge]

They where not married. She has a horribly criminal history with drugs and abuse. But every time it's brought up, it's dismissed because of one reason or another. We have spent the last year trying to get some sort of visitations and have gotten now where but 10k in debt. I don't think there will ever be someone to presay adopt the kid since she has a new guy every month.

Visitation, and/or custody can't be mandated, and as such need not be pursued.
Fathers who create children out of wedlock have no parental rights, unless paternity is established LEGALLY, not merely by affirmation.

In order to be on the hook for child support, the father chould seek a DNA test to prove paternity, or perhaps PROVE he is not the father.

Even if visitation has been established, the hather can simply choose not to exercise visitation without any legal penalty.

What can't be ignored, and very often can't be discharged is the obligation to pay child support, once paternity has been established.

I advise every male client to always request a paternity test.

In about 60% of the cases I've handled, the males were simply financial targets, and not the sperm donor, hence not the father.

This, however, can't be proven without submitting a DNA sample.

 

[leslie82]

They where not married. She has a horribly criminal history with drugs and abuse. But every time it's brought up, it's dismissed because of one reason or another. We have spent the last year trying to get some sort of visitations and have gotten now where but 10k in debt. I don't think there will ever be someone to presay adopt the kid since she has a new guy every month.

Was child support mandated through the court or is he just paying money directly to her?

If there's no court order for child support - he needs to stop giving money to her.

I would think if there is a court order for support that he has established paternity.