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Sibling seeking advice!

Discussion in 'Child Custody & Visitation' started by hereformysibs, Jul 25, 2019.

  1. hereformysibs

    hereformysibs Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
    Illinois
    In July of 2016, my mother lost all legal custody of my now 8 year old twin sisters. In October of 2017 I, their half sister, obtained 6 hours a month visitation time of my sisters at the ages of 19. This was due to the fact that I had taken care of the girls when all of my sibling and I lived with our mother. Ever since obtaining visiting time I have attended visits with the girls under strict supervision of their father. Visits are held in public places, restaurants, parks, etc, with his entire family present (including his girlfriend and 3 kids from another relationship) for around 3 hours twice a month. For the past almost 2 years, I have followed all his strict rules and have attempted to build his trust in the hopes of one day being able to spend quality time with my sisters alone. It had been well over 3 years that I have been unable to see them without their father and his family present. As of recently there has been a lot of drama tied to visits mostly surrounding his girlfriends expectations, including not buying presents for his 3 other children at Christmas time, accusations of favoring the twins of the other 3 children, not allowing the girls to attend holiday functions alone, and drama at family functions that do not evolve me, etc. I am just wanting to be able to spend drama free, quality time with my sisters. I'm wondering if I have any options beyond this point as their sibling? I am the only individual on their mothers side that actually makes an effort to see them, I'm 21 years old now and I was wondering if I could possibly take their father back to court for unsupervised visits or joint custody? Am i even able to apply for joint custody? I know grandparents are sometimes able to be like a proxy for one side of the family and I'm wondering if that would be an option for me? i just would like them to be able for them to attend holidays with our side of the family, spend the night at my houses, and/or just spend the day with me and our 6 other siblings as they are able to do with their family members on their dads side. The girls have also expressed their interest in spending more time with me as well. As of right now my mothers isn't able to attend my visits and if i were to get unsupervised i would keep it that way.
     
  2. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Was that by court order or just by agreement with their father?

    Do you still live with your mother?

    I suspect that the father's reluctance involves the belief that the mother will get in on unsupervised visits where you have no control over her presence.

    Practical advice. Bide your time. As the twins get older, work on getting more involved in supervised visits.

    A court fight will be expensive and only estrange you from the father and even your supervised visits could end.
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2019
    justblue likes this.
  3. hereformysibs

    hereformysibs Law Topic Starter New Member

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    It was agreed upon in court when he and my mother finalized their divorce in October of 2017. I do not live with my mother, after aging out of foster care i've been living on my own for 4 years now and have no relationship with my mother.
     
  4. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    Adjuster Jacks advice was good...You should follow it. Taking a parent to court for 3rd party visitation (not mom or dad of the child) is a very aggressive move that will cause 99.9999% of parents to fight tooth and nail. If you lose, which IMO you will, they will block you from seeing the child.
     
  5. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Well, that's a positive thing but I stand by my advice. The girlfriend might not last. As the twins get older you and they may be given more freedom. The last thing they need is to be in the middle of another court case.
     
    leslie82 and justblue like this.
  6. hereformysibs

    hereformysibs Law Topic Starter New Member

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    thank you all for your advice, i really appreciate it.
     
    justblue likes this.

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