shes not spending my childsupport on my child!!

[usskeir]

my sons mother is a teacher, and makes aout 70k a year, i refuse too let courts get envolved with my childs up bringing, my son is three and a half and have been paying her 800 a month in CP for about two years now, not to mention well over 10k a year in odds and ends,, i have no issue with that , BUT? my entire 800 $ goes to her maitance bill in her luxuary COOP.....??? is this right?????

 

[army judge]

my sons mother is a teacher, and makes aout 70k a year, i refuse too let courts get envolved with my childs up bringing, my son is three and a half and have been paying her 800 a month in CP for about two years now, not to mention well over 10k a year in odds and ends,, i have no issue with that , BUT? my entire 800 $ goes to her maitance bill in her luxuary COOP.....??? is this right?????

I hope you haven't been paying $9600 a year on what you call child support without benefit of a court order. Why? Because, when she takes you to court (and that day is coming), all of that money will be considered a GIFT!

Child support MUST be paid pursuant to a court order. Any other payments will be considered as gifts by the court. If you're giving her money beyond the $9600 a year, that money will be called gifts, too.

You may not want the court involved, but it sounds as if your agreement is breaking down and that's where she's looking to go!

I suggest you speak to an attorney about your rights and responsibilities in this matter. This is far more complicated than a few posts on an Internet chat forum.

 

[Proserpina]

Agreed.

There are a couple of states which allow the NCP to request an accounting of how the money is spent, but a) NY isn't one of them and b) those states tend to require proof that the CP is obviously not using the child support on the child. In other words, as long as the CP is housing, feeding and clothing the child, that's all the state requires.

If the CP was living in a car, feeding candy to the kids and letting them run around in raggedy clothing while wearing Calvin Klein and eating lobster every night, the NCP could go with "Neglect".

Then again, if that was the case, the NCP would have generally filed for custody and involved child protective services and hence wouldn't need to be here asking the question in the first place.

To go a step further, this is a great analogy from a very wise poster elsewhere:

(Change pronouns as appropriate)

Treat your checking account like a swimming pool. Every month, you add 500 gallons of water from child support. You add another 1000 gallons from your job. Maybe you have a birthday and get another 50 gallons for gifts.

Now, you take 300 gallons out to pay your rent. You take 200 gallons out for food. Another 200 gallons for medical care.

How in the world would you be expected to know that the gallons you took out for food, clothing, etc was the same as the money that went in for child care? Obviously, you can't.

The point being, it would be impossible to know which gallons are being used for which purpose.

 

[army judge]

Pro, great advice, very informative anecdote about the swimming pool.

All I would have you note is that OP is allegedly paying money for the child's support without the benefit of a court order.

Even if he were in one of the few states that can require an accounting, without a court order, even that information would not be available to him absent a court order directing him to pay child support.