1. Free Legal Help, Legal Forms and Lawyers. TheLaw.com has been providing free legal assistance online since 1995. Our most popular destinations for legal help are below. It only takes a minute to join our legal community!

    Dismiss Notice

Serious Question Needing a Serious Answer...SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME !!

Discussion in 'Adoption' started by TinyInkognegroT, Jun 20, 2019.

  1. TinyInkognegroT

    TinyInkognegroT Law Topic Starter New Member

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Jurisdiction:
    Oklahoma
    Ok I've seriously been a victim of fraud and injustice. Please hear me out !

    Long story short, my kids were adopted out due to me signing over my rights behind a child adjudication case. I was lied on, pressured, and cornered to sign over my rights to my youngest 4 children. Please continue to read !

    This started when I was living with my childrens mom, prior to us having kids together. When we met she had 4 kids and a 2 week old infant. 3 months down the line (January 3rd, 2013) her infant passed away in his playpen faced down in his pillow. She found him like that early in the morning while getting the older 3 children up for school. We rushed him to the hospital and he was pronounced dead a little while after. After the hospital, one of her friends took the older 4 children with her so the mother could mourn the loss of her infant. Soon after, homicide detectives came and questioned the mother and accusing us of murdering her infant. They took her to jail for a 2 year old $20 seatbelt ticket, accusing her of hiding something. DHS/CPS came and said they needed to see and speak to her older 4 children and she told them where they were at the time. They went and questioned the kids about their mothers parenting, my presence, and the infants well being. They told them good things about us, but when they mentioned the things they helped their mother with (making bottles, feeding him, changing his clothes, etc.), DHS turned it around as if the mother left the infant unattended with her other kids (ages ranging from 10 to 3) making them take care of all the infants needs, while the mother neglected it. DHS/CPS took the children into emergency custody and their mother was ordered for court and given a individualized service plan (ISP). Though I wasn't given the same thing at the time, I stood by her side and attended every court date with her. Before the autopsy results were released, DHS/CPS gave her oldest 3 to their father in Chicago (who had no income, no housing, nor a vehicle entitled to him) and left behind her youngest (4 year old daughter) by herself in foster care.

    By the time she became pregnant and had our first child (daughter) 9 months after this, i was living with my mother, currently in my 2nd college year of 4 for my AAS in Video Game Development, was employed, and had my own vehicle. When my daughter was born, the autopsy results hadn't came back yet and her mother was stilled considered a threat of harm to the state and it was unclear as to how, where, and who my daughter was going home once she was released from the hospital. Of course I argued that she came home with me to my mothers and they came by to inspect the home and interviewed everyone in the home. Everything passed (inspection and background checks) except the fact my mother had a positive closed DHS/CPS case that she won over 5 years prior. I also told DHS/CPS that once the autopsy was finished and this was all over, mother and I planned on building our family together. They turned my words against me saying I said if I had my daughter, I would allow her mother to see her knowing she is a threat of harm. They charged me with Failure to Protect and Neglect and I was ordered to court to receive my ISP. My ISP only consisted of 3 goals in order for me to have my daughter home. Those goals were obtain and keep an apartment and employment and complete the parenting class. They also told me to withdrawal from college to comply with my ISP. I completed all of these things and submitted all the proof to DHS/CPS as I completed them, keeping copies for myself. Every court hearing after that, DHS/CPS never mentioned those accomplishments and the judge never acknowledged them.

    Some time goes by (January 3rd, 2014), the autopsy results ruled the death as SIDS. All the destructive decisions that DHS/CPS had made behind thinking we murdered her infant son, stayed in place and the long awaited results wanted by the judge, the state, and us parents, was glanced at and thrown to the side. This was very discouraging for me and the mother. She was already suffering from the loss of her infant son, DHS/CPS shipping her oldest 3 out of state, leaving her youngest daughter to herself in foster care, and now that the truth was finalized, are kids weren't coming home and our ISP's still stands. It put a lot on the both of us and even though I stayed strong and continued following my ISP, she was falling apart mentally.

    We had our twin sons shortly after that and they were allowed to come home with us because of our ISP accomplishments and autopsy results. We were VERY careful about having any kind of company around our house and twins at the time. We were being picked on and falsely accused of not showing up to or engaging with our daughter at the visits and after almost 2 years of us both having our own places to stay, not once was it ever mentioned to begin in house, overnight, and weekend visits at either home. We were doing as we were asked and not being credited or awarded for it. She would begin to get very discouraged about it and I would try to remind her that our outcome would be good if we just kept doing as we were told but after so long of doing that and getting nothing in return, it makes you think twice and takes a toll on you mentally and it did just that to her. She began not to trust anybody, even me. We would argue and fight and sometimes the police were called. She attacked me once, called the police on me, and got herself arrested behind it. We got into another big argument and she called the court appointed therapist in the middle of it. The therapist asked to speak to me and asked me to leave the room to speak to me in private. She told me I was better off leaving my childs mother because it was obvious (due to her mental condition) that she wasnt getting a chance with her kids again. I told my childs mother what was said and she confronted her therapist, who quit the case right after that. Before she quit she wrote a report to the judge about the fight and our twins were taken from us in the courtroom that day, 6 months after being released from the hospital. We blamed each other and stopped talking to each other for months and did separate visits alone from each other. I started complaining to my court appointed lawyer about not being treated fairly and my ISP accomplishments being neglected and not rewarded. By this time we were headed into a jury trial for our parental rights and my "lawyer" called for a mediation. She told me to bring whatever proof I had and that this would be my time to speak to the judge about everything. Our youngest daughter and last child was born just 2 months prior to this mediation, she wasn't allowed home from the hospital.

    I brought a black portfolio with my housing lease (which my daughter was on), my paycheck stubs, and my certificates of completion of my parenting classes. I was very anxious and ready to show and tell the judge my completions and how they wasn't being acknowledged and how it was harming my case and destroying the chances of my kids coming home. Instead, the judge wasn't available that day and was replaced with a woman who knew nothing of the case and instead about talking about our kids coming home, the conversation quickly changed to adopting our kids out to the foster parents, including the mothers youngest daughter of the older 3 out of state. They tried to tell me everything they could to convince me to sign over my parental rights. After a couple of hours and convincing the mother that she wasn't getting her kids back, she signed over her parental rights. Not because she was guilty but because she was tired and overwhelmed of the situation, she was mentally drained and gave up fighting with no winning cause no matter what she did right. They blamed the majority of the cause on her mental health, saying she wasn't mentally stable enough to have and care for her kids, something they caused and made worse by kicking her while she was down. Me on the other hand; my "lawyer" tried to convince me as well but I wasn't hearing a thing except when my kids were coming home. When she told me my childs mother signed over her rights, my heart sunk but I still wouldn't give in...then i was given an ultimatum, I could sign over my rights willingly now or have them terminated in jury trial, including my rights for my oldest son in another county, who had absolutely nothing to do with this case. I was given the choice of losing my younger 4 now and keeping my rights to my oldest son or lose them all in jury trial. So with the only chance of having at least 1 of my kids I felt like I had left, I signed over my rights to my youngest 4 children and it drove me crazy. All I could do is dread on the mistake I made and how I could fix it but DHS/CPS and my "lawyer" told me there isn't a way I can reverse the decision I made. They have been officially adopted to the foster parents since July of 2017. The foster parents promised pictures and contact info but I haven't seen of or heard from my kids or anybody about my kids since before mediation. All I have left of them are videos and photos I took during our visits together and the portfolio of ISP documents and completions. Its a very similar feeling to losing a child to death, I can't touch, hear, or see of them and l have left is memories of them. Since then I have been diagnosed with PTSD, BI POLAR DEPRESSION, SEVERE DEPRESSION, AND HIGH ANIEXTY just from this life event alone. This is the only story I tell my therapist to get such a diagnosis.

    With all that being said, I still feel manipulated and pushed into that situation and making that decision to sign over my rights. I still feel there is a way legally to expose the situation for the lies and manipulation causing the mental hardship on the mother, the wrongful loss of our kids and her oldest 4 kids, and the mental hardship I go through currently behind it all.

    I was never even given a chance to prove myself as a parent to be accused as an abusive/neglectful parent and I'm being wrongfully punished for accusations I'm not guilty of.

    SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME !!! SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME THE ROUTE TO TAKE THE STEPS TO REOPEN THIS CASE, EXPOSE THE LIES AND GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE WITH MY KIDS !!! THERE HAS GOT TO BE SOMETHING I CAN DO TO REVERSE THIS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! THANK YOU IN ADVANCE AND I GREATLY APPRECIATE ANY POSITIVE COMMENTS OR HELP.
     
  2. Tax Counsel

    Tax Counsel Active Member

    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    129
    Trophy Points:
    43

    You need to go to a family law lawyer in the state where this happened to have the situation reviewed and see if there is anything you can do. Frankly, though, it may be impossible now to undo what you did when you signed the agreement to terminate you parental relationship with the children. Yes, you were under some pressure when you made that choice, but that alone doesn't violate your rights. There was a lot going on here and we have just your side of the story. The picture painted by CPS and others may be quite different.

    Certainly there appears to have been concern that something troubling was happening with the mother. Having a lot of kids with different fathers is often a formula for trouble. It's hard to have stability in that kind of situation. How that then impacted you is impossible for me to say based on what you've said.

    The bottom line though is that sometimes when you make a choice there is no chance to undo it later. You might find that to be the case here. But you'll only know that by consulting a family law attorney and have all the facts reviewed. If this is truly that important to you, you'll find a way to pay for the consultation you'll need for that. And the sooner you do it the better because even if there is some chance to reverse this the window to do it won't remain open forever.
     
    TinyInkognegroT likes this.
  3. TinyInkognegroT

    TinyInkognegroT Law Topic Starter New Member

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Your right and the picture CPS painted was as bad as the worst we could've looked in that situation. I will look into a consultation and always needed to, but I haven't been in the best shape since then and currently going through an appeal for SSI, trying to save as much money as I can as I go. But your right about the time I have, if any. I appreciate your comment and advice
     

Share This Page