I have a few questions. First, some background. My ex-husband was abusive over the course of several years, stalked, harassed, and also raped me, although I never did anything legal about it. We had two children together, hereafter referred to as Child 1 and Child 2. After the rape I left him and filed for divorce. During that time I met another man who loved me and my children. My ex-husband and I eventually came to a custody agreement where we would each take full custody of one child and go our separate ways. My ex has also agreed to let the new man in my life adopt Child 1 (the child I was awarded full custody of after the divorce). He and I have been together for over two years and has been "Daddy" since Child 1 was two, almost three. We are getting married in three months. Since she was so young she does not remember her biological father or her other sibling. Part of the reason I wanted Child 1 (NOT that I did not want Child 2, just that my ex would never have agreed to me having full custody of one if he didn't have full custody of the other) is because when we did share custody she would come back from every visit having nightmares, crying herself to sleep, covered in bruises - black eyes, all over her legs, and the last visit she came back with a large bruise on her lower back. I asked how it happened and my ex claimed to not know, so I assume it was either abuse or neglect. It made sense given how he treated her from the time she was born. Again, I did not take legal action, for fear that I wouldn't be believed and nothing would happen except making my ex angry, and that he would still get partial custody or visitation with her, which I did not want, especially since at that time we had worked at the same place and he told several co-workers that first chance he got he would take both children out of state and away from me so that I could never see them again. I did, however, take pictures to document her bruising. About nine months ago, my ex signed paperwork that said my fiance could adopt Child 1. I didn't see these papers because I was in the hospital, but we had two witnesses sign at the courthouse, my ex and my fiance signed, and it was notarized. The paper he signed said he had 10 days to retract it but after that he would need a lawyer, and I was told from all four of them that the paperwork stated he basically relinquished his rights as parent provided my fiance does adopt her. Since I live in MN we have to be married for a year before we can start the adoption process. After the adoption is finalized, I fully intend to reunite with my other child. Until then I view it as "unsafe" - If I visit with Child 2, her biological father may also want to visit with Child 1, and then may try to stop the adoption. After the abuse I went through with my ex, and suspecting he was abusing Child 1, I do NOT want this. Also, I do not suspect he abuses or neglects Child 2, as they were always very close and he treated Child 2 much better than Child 1 even while we were together. Child 1 has lived with me and my fiance full time for almost two years, Child 2 has lived with my ex full time for also almost two years. During this time neither of us has given or received anything to care for the other child, or have had any visits with the other child.
My questions are:
- Can he still retract the paperwork he signed?
- Even after signing and filing that paperwork, what rights does my ex have to Child 1?
- Can he file for child support for Child 2? If so, does that mean I would also get visitation with Child 2 if a court decides I must pay child support?
- If it came down to it, is there anything that could still be done about the abuse and rape I went through? I read that there is a statute of limitations on rape without DNA evidence that is 9 years but I am not entirely sure what that means or if that applies to me.
- I have also been told that we may not have to wait a year after marriage to adopt, that we can apply to have that waived. Simply put, how many legal hoops will we have to jump through to do this?
My questions are:
- Can he still retract the paperwork he signed?
- Even after signing and filing that paperwork, what rights does my ex have to Child 1?
- Can he file for child support for Child 2? If so, does that mean I would also get visitation with Child 2 if a court decides I must pay child support?
- If it came down to it, is there anything that could still be done about the abuse and rape I went through? I read that there is a statute of limitations on rape without DNA evidence that is 9 years but I am not entirely sure what that means or if that applies to me.
- I have also been told that we may not have to wait a year after marriage to adopt, that we can apply to have that waived. Simply put, how many legal hoops will we have to jump through to do this?
