Seeking abandonment or termination of custody

[aeast0108]

My husband has physical custody of his 2 children, aged 3 and 5, from a previous marriage even though custody is considered joint. Their biological mother has been living in Wisconsin for over a year now. About 2 months ago we received a call from her family saying she had moved to Pennsylvania but could not be found. She will not even admit to us that she has relocated at all. She calls the children from time to time and they always seem upset and confused afterward. The situation has become more and more stressful for the children and we would like to be able to give them a more stable life. She has not seen them in almost a year, she has never paid any child support, and we now have no way to find her or even just an address for her. At this point is there any basis for abandonment or ending her custody rights?

 

[Duranie]

If you are willing to adopt the children then you can certaily try to terminate her rights. She can fight it though and you will have to attempt to locate her. See an attorney.

 

[aeast0108]

I would be more than willing to adopt them. I am really the only mom that they know. If we did try to terminate her rights what would she have to prove to sucessfully fight it?

 

[aeast0108]

And we actually just found out tonight that the child she has now, from a different father, has been placed in foster care due to abuse and neglect. How much, or at all, could this effect our case?

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

Please understand one thing. There is no "our" case here. In the eyes of the law you are considered to be a legal stranger to these children.

This is often hard for a stepmother to accept because so often it's the woman who writes into the forums asking for advice. It is often the stepmother who has spent the majority of time raising stepchildren.

However; it is important that you realize that it is your husband (who is the legal father of these children) who has to make the moves to attempt to get the mother judged unfit. While your job may be to support him you must realize your role (at least in the eyes of the court) is to remain silent.

Gail

 

[aeast0108]

If my choice is to attempt to adopt my children, it becomes our case.

 

[irish223]

If my choice is to attempt to adopt my children, it becomes our case.

You can't adopt your own children. You may be able to adopt your husband's children.

The point is that your husband is the only person who can petition for termination of rights. At this point, you are a legal stranger to the children, as Gail said.

In order to terminate rights, most states will require that the mother is notified. Otherwise, there is the possibility that the termination and subsequent adoption can be overturned.

Also, if the mother calls the children, even infrequently, then she has not abandoned them by definition in many states.

As Duranie suggested, see an attorney. This isn't something that should be attempted pro se.