scared for a child

[Angry_Stepmom]

I need some advice. My brother has joint custody of his three year old daughter with his ex. My niece's mother has a night job and my husband and I keep my niece at night. She often forgets to come get her and will show up hours later with some elaborate excuse. She's been dating an 18 year old guy (the ex is 27) and told me yesterday that the boyfriend doesn't want his parents to know about the girls ( the ex also has a 6 year old daughter). She acts likes she's ashamed of them and this is very disturbing to me. She has been very neglectful in the past and can be violent. I really want to report her; I'm scared to death for the safety of the girls. I'm torn because if I do, the ex will freak out and keep the girls from us and then we won't know what's going on with them or if they're okay. She held a grudge against me for over a year when my niece was a baby because of heresay. I can only imagine what she'll do if she gets CPS called on her. The school also called my brother today because his ex had forgotten to come get their daughter from school. How can we prove that my niece is being neglected to where she can be taken out of her mother's home; she isn't safe. Please help.

 

[Duranie]

Right now there is not much you can do unless you can prove the child is being abused or neglected. Why doesn't your brother file for custody? Unfortunatley if the mother wants to be stupid and date an immature 18 year old and keep the girls from his parents then that is up to her and him. It seems to me your brotherbneeds to file for custody. It is always recommended he see an attorney for advice.

 

[Eaglesshamen]

the facts that you called CPS is supposed to be confidential However most of the time ppl can figure out who made the report
when you decide that it is neccessary to call because you fear for their safety it is always good to way in favor of thier safety and not on the recourse they may take. DSS has a 1800 number for reports but you should make sure to bring up the facts that she is very forgetful when it comes to the needs of the child ( e.g.forgets to pick her up, can be verifyed by the teachers/ school )
make it annonomys but word it in souch a way that anyone could have made it (you or a teacher or anyone else that is concerned

 

[Angry_Stepmom]

Thanks for the input. And for the record, who my niece's mother chooses to date or how old he is isn't of concern to me; it's the fact that you hear so much about mothers harming their children because the boyfriend doesn't like the kids; I don't want to think that something bad might happen to her for that reason. And my brother had a talk with his ex and she's decided to give him temporary custody of their daughter until she's supposedly in a better situation in which to care for her. I appreciate your responses. Thanks again!

 

[Duranie]

Angry stepmom, you are totally correct in the trouble that boyfriends can bring to other peoples kids. Studies have shown that a child is 8 times more likely to be abused when there is a boyfriend involved. Out here in AZ CPS has really failed in a few high profile cases where children were killed by boyfiends. In fact a father out here just won a huge landmark case against CPS and in this judgement, the actual CPS caseworkers are being held partially accountable for the judgement. His 2 daughters were severely abused by moms boyfriend, 1 of the girls was killed. It was such a sad heart breaking case because there was so much evidence that the girls were being abused but CPS dismissed all the claims and refused to remove the girls from the home. Even the girls aunt and this creepy guys former girlfriends told CPS this guy was violent.

I recommend your brother just be an observant, active involved dad and he should look into filing for custody if he is really concerned.

 

[Eaglesshamen]

copy landmark

I was wondering if there was a way that you could tell me how to get a copy of that decision is it may just come in handy for me even though the situation is a bit different.

 

[Duranie]

You can find lots of information if you google the childs name Liana Sandoval.

The boyfriend has been sentenced to death, the mother's trial is starting shortly. She is also being charged because she help discard her daughters body, and she knew the boyfriend was abusing the kids and she let him babysit anyways.

What is heartbreaking is the older sister was also beat and witnessed everything. She was not killed but suffered a severe head injury and she is living with her father.

Be warned, it is a very sad story of a system that failed to protect these kids.

 

[Angry_Stepmom]

My brother's ex picked up my niece this morning without notice after giving her to my brother and informed him that she was moving her out county. He has the paper work to file for custody but needs help filling out the forms. Is there a way to do that without having to go through an attorney? Any advice would help. Thanks!