While in the process of selling our CO home to move back to WI our daughter became pregnant by her boyfriend. She is now 17, he is 19. He lived in our CO home for almost 2 months as his mother had thrown him out of her home. We moved in Nov, he came to WI with us. Five months with us afforded him free room and board as he was not gainfully employed. At 7.5 months into the pregnancy he opted to move back to CO. He now regrets his decision. We've not invited him back as our goal now is to focus on a healthy birth instead of,perhaps, misguided choices though we do care for him. He and our daugher communicate daily and hope to remain, in the least, friends. After being instrumental in their separation, his mother is now insisting this is 'her grandchild' and she will have visitation. How do we best insure that out of state visitation with a small child is not mandatory? We are much more concerned for the well-being of our minor daughter and her unborn child than we are for financial support. He seems very reasonable but continues to be governed by parents. Does leaving him off the birth certificate hold any guarantees?
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Rights of unwed parents state to state
- Thread Starter lauralee
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jacksgal
New Member
Until he signs (The Father) the birth acknowledgment he has no rights. This includes visitation. Now once he establishes paternity (not hard) he has all the same rights as your daughter this includes visitation, custody and, support. Once Father is granted visitation (he will be granted this) then some plan will need to be made to enforce this order. By the way this is not yours or his parents issues its theirs! The two parents
Thanks for your consideration in replying......I do so appreciate it. Our daughter has always understood that she can make her own choices, and she read and approved this thread before I posted. As our minor child, we continue to honor our responsibility as her parents until she reaches adulthood.
lonelyinny
New Member
grandma has no rights
it is not her grandchild untill her son establishes paternity-once he gets vistation, she can see the baby on her son's time, thats usually how it works. grandparents are expected to see their grandchild/ren on their child's time. also be advised as the grandparents you have no rights to this child at all
Thank you for your time. Yes.....we do understand that this is not 'our' baby. 'Our' baby, however, is the 17 year old mother of this child and as parents we are still obligated to help her until she reaches adulthood. She just said, and I quote, 'I fear that I'm gonna have to send my child out of state to the people who ripped my family apart'.
jacksgal
New Member
That is pretty much the truth. The Father has every right to see his child. However until the child gets older visits will likely take place where Mom lives. If you want to help your daughter then get her a Lawyer to set up the visitation/custody and, support orders
Please disregard LonelyinNY all she does is yell at people and tell them to MYOB.
Until paternity is established Dad has no rights. However eventually if he takes mom to court for visitation and paternity, he MAY eventually get out of state visits. this is common actually with babies, maybe not at first, but if the child is a year or 2 Dad will have to fight for unasupervised visits but it is not necessarily realistic to expect visits will always take place in your state. Of course if Dad never pushes anything, then problem solved.
Until paternity is established Dad has no rights. However eventually if he takes mom to court for visitation and paternity, he MAY eventually get out of state visits. this is common actually with babies, maybe not at first, but if the child is a year or 2 Dad will have to fight for unasupervised visits but it is not necessarily realistic to expect visits will always take place in your state. Of course if Dad never pushes anything, then problem solved.
Thanks for all the input. These two young people have always had respect for each other. He respected her choice to have this child, she respected his right to leave. She wanted her family kept intact - not a priority for him. I'd just hoped with the abandonment issue that things would be a little more cut and dry. I understand now that this isn't the case. Perhaps they'll remain friends and the respect will continue.
Okay, I have to ask.
All this "we care so much for our daughter" stuff, and yet she gets impregnated by an adult while under your roof.
I wouldn't go throwing rocks at the other grandmother.... At least her minor child wasn't having sex under her own watchful eye.
I don't understand how this helps, or in what way it addresses the OP's questions. Am I missing something?
cyjeff, I threw no stones and actually, the baby was conceived at the other grandmother's house. She was the first to suggest abortion and later adoption. It seems as though we live in a time where many cry for their rights, but forget too easily that with those privileges comes responsibility.
My responsibility is to my child who I admit, have not spent every waking moment with. And I do love her........more than my life. Our panic is coming from the idea of having to put a toddler or preschooler on a plane for visitation over state lines. That's all.
My responsibility is to my child who I admit, have not spent every waking moment with. And I do love her........more than my life. Our panic is coming from the idea of having to put a toddler or preschooler on a plane for visitation over state lines. That's all.
Hopefully everyone can get together after the baby is born and work something out.
your daughter, at 17, is probably going to get a lot more than she bargained for by having a baby at such a young age. She needs to start figuring out how she is going to finish school and support the baby, and not depend too much on grandma and grandpa to take care of this baby. you do not want to enable her too much. she needs to be tought some responsibility.
your daughter, at 17, is probably going to get a lot more than she bargained for by having a baby at such a young age. She needs to start figuring out how she is going to finish school and support the baby, and not depend too much on grandma and grandpa to take care of this baby. you do not want to enable her too much. she needs to be tought some responsibility.
Our daughter has made sacrifices....her senior prom, football games, nights out with friends and ultimately, her body. I believe, however, that she became a mother when the test showed a positive result and she realized her life was no longer her own. She chose to honor this life and take the road less traveled. She continues her high school education online and has also educated herself on a natural drug-free birth. This is the heart of a mother and I'm proud of her. As her parents we will provide her with all the help she needs to become a successful mother and ultimately, a contributing member of society.
Thank-you to those of you who have offered your expertise. I'm done.
Thank-you to those of you who have offered your expertise. I'm done.
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