Reverse custody case

[mwise]

In a nutshell, my ex-boyfriend and I have joint custody of our daughter, age 2yrs & 9 mo, and he currently has physical custody. This came about when I had been arrested with a DUI with my daughter in the vehicle and then after 29 days sent to a rehabilitation program. I have just completed the program of 6 months. During this time my ex had basically forced me to sign these custody papers which at the same time was establishing legitimation of him as we were never married. I felt pressured as DFACS was involved and I was worried about them putting her into the system. In retrospect, I should have never signed those papers. I've been able to see my daughter but the father is now threatening to NOT let me see her because he doesn't approve of the man I'm in a relationship with. He does have a past but none of any violent nature or towards children. My ex is now threatening to take me back to court for sole custody if I pursue this relationship with this other man. I would like to know what my rights are as her Mother and does he have any merit in what he is saying as far as who I am with? I also would like to know if that original custody decision could be reversed as I was in a rehabilitation program and under duress? I love my daughter so much and it breaks my heart when I have to leave her and I know in my heart she belongs with her Mommy!

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

This would likely all depend on what type of past your current boyfriend has...and how a judge would view this, always keeping the safety of these children as the courts first concern.

Gail

 

[mwise]

Thank you! I know that he's allowed to see his own children and not seen as a threat to them.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you! I know that he's allowed to see his own children and not seen as a threat to them.

Does he have a criminal record?

If yes, what does it involve?

(there is a reason for my question)

Also, even if Dad gets custody this will not strip YOUR rights as a parent - don't allow him to bully you into believing that.

As far as getting the original order changed, I don't see that happening. Duress is very difficult to prove - he would have literally had to have been holding a gun to your heard while you signed.

You can file to modify the current order but I do not see this being successful unless you can show a significant change in the child's circumstances. You can absolutely file for more parenting time though

 

[mwise]

Thank you! He is bullying me as he wants me back in his life and he's using our child to try to do it.

The other person I'm referring to was in prison for robbery (no gun/deadly weapon) & trafficking stolen property.

 

[Proserpina]

Then it's unlikely Dad is going to get sole custody based upon you having an ex-con as a boyfriend.

(Or even marrying the same guy)

Do you have a regular (court ordered) visitation schedule set up?

 

[mwise]

Yes we do have a visitation schedule set up. Currently even though I've completed the program, I'm still there. During the last 6 months I've seen my daughter every weekend 1 day and sometimes 2 at their place because of the DFACS case. Now that it's been closed, I should be able to see my daughter without him being present. That's where I see a potential issue. Once I leave the program, which will be soon, and get my own place, he's saying she wont be allowed over there if I'm seeing this person!

 

[Proserpina]

Go to court, and file to modify the current visitation plan based upon you completing the required steps laid out by DFACS.

 

[mwise]

That's actually already in the papers we signed. So basically I guess my only choice is that when he doesn't let her visit me because of the company I keep, I have to take him back to court and in the mean time, not get to see my daughter unless I do what he wants me to do?

 

[Proserpina]

Unfortunately, yes. He's being unreasonable, but there isn't an awful lot you can do except keep filing contempt if he withholds visitation.

 

[Duranie]

Actually to be honest here, you have been some bad choices. You drive drunk with your baby in the car and you have a with a boyfriend who is a felon. You do understand that this cannot possibly help your case right? His background may come into play here because overal it seems you do not make good decisions. You have to determine if your boyfriend is worth it? Your kid come first and honestly if I were you, focus on YOU and seeing your children. Your kids are VERY young and they will be at risk for some sort of abuse if you move in with this guy. These are not his kids and he will not treat your kids like their mom and dad will. There is a HUGE risk of abuse when a boyfriend, especially one who is a felon, and not the father of the kids moves in. So if you are even thinking of shacking up with this man, don't. I'm a CASA with the AZ Foster care system. I work with CPS cases. Ask me what % of abuse happens by moms boyfriends. It is staggering.

Please do not be offended at my comments but you need to focus on you and your kids. Get yourself cleaned up, get a job, focus on being the best mother possible and go from there. The fact your boyfriend is a felon IS of concern here epsecially since you have had an open case with social services.

 

[saraht]

If you have a court order for visitation he cant refuse you of seeing your daughter. If he does then you can file contempt of court on him and he will be the one who gets into trouble. If it is a court order he has to fallow it no matter what he thinks about your new boyfriend.