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Restraining Order Divorce

Discussion in 'Protective & Restraining Orders' started by StuckInTheMiddle, Sep 30, 2019.

  1. StuckInTheMiddle

    StuckInTheMiddle Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Hello,

    My father and mother are getting a divorce, and I am their young adult child who has been placed in the middle of this gruesome divorce unfortunately. My mother has filed a restraining order against my father on the basis of him being a threat or potential threat to her life, in order to have him evicted from the house (they both kept living in the same house over the past 6 months, different rooms). My father would like me to write a character reference and share the character reference in front of the judge at the court hearing. Here’s the thing: Are character references even allowed at this type of court hearing (this is not the dividing of assets hearing, but the restraining order eviction hearing)? If so, is the character reference allowed to be presented at the hearing by the author of it? Or is it just to be signed and sent to the judge? I don’t want to waste my time sitting in court all day Thursday if it isn’t even allowed to be presented by the author of the reference, or if it isn’t even allowed at all. Please let me know ASAP. Thank you so much.
     
  2. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    You can write a letter, IF YOU CHOOSE, and NOT alienate your father.

    Whether the judge admits it (highly doubtful, by the way), you've appeased one of the parties by effort.

    You can also advise your father to ask his lawyer if a letter from you is even worth the paper on which it'll be written.

    In fact, the best thing you can for for BOTH parties (again if you CHOOSE to do so) is tell them to EACH to settle the divorce amicably and move on with rebuilding their lives. Once the divorce is over, its over.
     
    leslie82 and StuckInTheMiddle like this.
  3. StuckInTheMiddle

    StuckInTheMiddle Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you! If I choose to write this letter, can it be presented by me in the court hearing? Or can I simply sign it and send it to the judge ahead of time? Is one better than the other? Or does is not matter?
     
  4. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    As I indicated above, that would be up to the judge.
    In the jurisdictions where I presided as a judge, (in family law matters, which was rare by my choice) I never allowed it once.

    The ultimate arbiter will be the jurist presiding over the matter at hand.

    Doing that is "ex parte" communication and is normally mot allowed or advised.

    In person testimony is always best because it allows the judge and jury to evaluate you and the testimony, and it complies with the 6th amendment right to confront one's accuser (or adversary) by eliciting responses to questions to verify truthfulness.
     
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  5. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    A letter will not be excepted and read by the judge. You would have to appear and testify. If I were you I would tell Mom and Dad : "Folks, I love you. Call me when your divorce is final. I WILL NOT take sides or be an unwilling combatant in your war."
     
  6. StuckInTheMiddle

    StuckInTheMiddle Law Topic Starter New Member

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    This answers all of my questions, thank you everyone!
     
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  7. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    You are welcome!
     
  8. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    How "young" of an adult are you? If you're legally the age of majority, you aren't "stuck" or "placed" in the middle of the divorce. You can choose to have nothing to do with the divorce. My parents divorced when I was 18 or 19. I had one younger brother still at home (16) and she took the youngest (12) with her. He was the only one she filed custody for and child support (until a paternity test showed the guy she left us for was biologically the dad and surprisingly sent all the child support money back to my dad).

    You can do whatever you want to do or not do. A judge might accept something from another party or may not. We don't know.

    If I was you I'd stay out of this because you have nothing to do with it as an adult.
     

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