Resolving Custody and Support Issues

[NYCMom]

Hello,
I am new to this forum, and it seems like I may be able to get some help.

I recently filed for child support for my son. Although his dad is not "deadbeat", there are some issues that I have with him. He never wants to help me monetarily. Every time I ask him for money he refuses. So I decided to talk with him about this issue of refusing to help me monetarily. His solution was to "get a boyfriend." So I filed for child support. He, in turn, filed for joint custody in hopes that will lessen or eliminate the child support order. I was informed that I could file for sole custody. But I don't want to do that. I want him to be involved in the decision-making process for our son. However, I do not want to share physical custody for a number of reasons. One is that when he visits his dad, he comes home singing songs with explicit lyrics, claiming he heard them in his dad's (or dad's girlfriend's) car. One song included the lyrics, "Take your freaking clothes off..." And another time he came home making sounds of a sexual nature saying he heard them at his dad's house. By the way, my son is only 4.
So I guess my question is, What can I do to ensure that he does not get joint physical custody, while maintaining the right to make decisions re his son? What might/can happen if I filed for full custody?

Your time and answers are appreciated.

 

[wcomp]

You can only get what you ask for. Child custody decisions are determined based on the facts of the case and on a case-by-case basis. As the father does not presently have joint physical custody and apparently did not even 'want' it until you petitioned for support, I doubt that the judge will view his request as being particularly sincere.

I would suggest working with a child custody lawyer.

 

[Duranie]

even if you have sole custody, you cannot control what dad does with the child.

Custody battles often happen when one parent files for CS or more CS. He is only required to pay you what the courts tell him too.

Joint custody would give him some legal say on decisions made for he child like medical, schooling, etc.. It does not mean he will get 50/50 parenting time.

More courts nowadays are giving joinmt because fathers should have some say in their kids lives. You can fight it, but he can still ask for joint.

There is really nothing you can do to prevent dad from listening to that music when he has he child but perhaps talk to him about it.