Andy Miller
New Member
- Jurisdiction
- Virginia
I'll try to type out this "long story short".
I am asking for a friend of mine, she is divorced, I'll call her Cherie. Her former boyfriend, I'll call him Stuart, took advantage of her and then left town unannounced. Changed his cell phone number and ghosted her for several months. She learned that he had been unfaithful to her and their relationship with at least one other woman. Cherie is now able to correspond with him via email.
He is a citizen of the UK, was married to an American woman prior to dating my friend. I don't know if his US citizenship was ever completed. He is now residing near Boston, Mass and has a new girlfriend with whom he now has a child.
He left Roanoke, Virginia in late summer 2019. Prior to his departure he had accumulated quite a bit of debt. Cherie took out a debt consolidation loan in her name to help him. They agreed to a repayment plan. For about 24 months of the 48-month agreed repayment, he would Venmo her the monthly payment on the 1st of the month, usually later after being "reminded" by Cherie.
Yesterday he sent her an email stating that he was no longer going to make monthly payments and she had no proof that it is his debt.
She responded to his email:
"Stuart ~ You are incorrect and this is not what you agreed to (via conversations that took place during September- November 2019). You agreed that you were obligated to the financial debt you incurred in my name and the agreement we made for repayment. You committed to the loan amount ($7000), the interest amount (7% = $1045.94), and the amortization timetable (48 months). You've also paid, on record and to date, 24 of the 48 monthly installments we agreed upon.
You, personally, used my credit all the way up through June 2019; even as to fund a personal trip to Florida. I never utilized the card(s) ($4000 on Old Navy and $3000 on Best Buy) you used for your personal purchases; I have taken and continue to take responsibility for my own purchases & debt. Meanwhile, you frequently neglected to pay the credit card bill(s) you were responsible for, and/or you paid late. Additionally, you never paid more than the minimum, causing the debt to remain intact and for the cards to stay maxed out. You are financially savvy and mathematically smart enough to know how credit card debt and interest rates work (not to mention the fact that I provided ALL of that information to you monthly, as well as when I took out the consolidation loan, equally on your behalf, to help minimize the impact of the situation and to resolve it).
The 4 year amount you agreed to pay was based solely on your spending and you agreed to pay it spread over four years; as opposed to the 3, 5 or 6 year periods also offered to you. I agreed to significantly lower your interest rate and the total payoff amount by agreeing to take on a loan against my home and extend it over a time period that you agreed you could manage.
I am incredibly disappointed and hurt by the extent and lengths to which you will go to shirk, once again, your responsibilities, and put them on someone else; with that someone else being a real person and the one person who trusted you and defended you when no one else would.
I won't dignify the remainder of your email commentary with a response; clearly you have chosen to lie not only me, but yourself. However, that is neither here nor there. The only aspect of this situation that is relevant is that you agreed to pay off your credit card debt over a 4 year, 48 installment period, at the rate of $167.62 a month (to which there is a record of to date).
FYI - The family you have chosen to be responsible for feeding, housing and clothing has nothing to do with me or your outstanding debt; as you should be aware, reality and responsibility are cumulative. You acquired the debt prior to taking on the new responsibilities you have chosen to accept, but if does not negate your previous responsibilities.
On a personal note:
The level of reprehensible behavior you have now chosen to exhibit is genuinely repulsive. I feel sorry for you, your family, your friends, your colleagues and especially your child. You are a disgrace."
He replied to her:
"I have no guilt here. I know why I accepted to help you in the first place and I know why I am removing that help now.
Given the way you have ended your correspondence you are not to contact me or any member of my family again. Should you do so it will be met, swiftly, with any and all legal measures open to me."
What makes this even worse is how Stuart knows about Cherie's marriage. The abuse, infidelity, the gaslighting and things she put up with before she had to leave in fear for her own safety. Knowing all this, he still took advantage of her kind heart.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated...
I can't think of any legal measure that Stuart has to make such a threat to Cherie.
It would be difficult to prove to a court the agreement Dave and Cherie had since so much was verbal or done via email accounts that no longer exist (a former employer).
The fact that he left Virginia and now resides in Massachusetts complicates things as well.
I am asking for a friend of mine, she is divorced, I'll call her Cherie. Her former boyfriend, I'll call him Stuart, took advantage of her and then left town unannounced. Changed his cell phone number and ghosted her for several months. She learned that he had been unfaithful to her and their relationship with at least one other woman. Cherie is now able to correspond with him via email.
He is a citizen of the UK, was married to an American woman prior to dating my friend. I don't know if his US citizenship was ever completed. He is now residing near Boston, Mass and has a new girlfriend with whom he now has a child.
He left Roanoke, Virginia in late summer 2019. Prior to his departure he had accumulated quite a bit of debt. Cherie took out a debt consolidation loan in her name to help him. They agreed to a repayment plan. For about 24 months of the 48-month agreed repayment, he would Venmo her the monthly payment on the 1st of the month, usually later after being "reminded" by Cherie.
Yesterday he sent her an email stating that he was no longer going to make monthly payments and she had no proof that it is his debt.
She responded to his email:
"Stuart ~ You are incorrect and this is not what you agreed to (via conversations that took place during September- November 2019). You agreed that you were obligated to the financial debt you incurred in my name and the agreement we made for repayment. You committed to the loan amount ($7000), the interest amount (7% = $1045.94), and the amortization timetable (48 months). You've also paid, on record and to date, 24 of the 48 monthly installments we agreed upon.
You, personally, used my credit all the way up through June 2019; even as to fund a personal trip to Florida. I never utilized the card(s) ($4000 on Old Navy and $3000 on Best Buy) you used for your personal purchases; I have taken and continue to take responsibility for my own purchases & debt. Meanwhile, you frequently neglected to pay the credit card bill(s) you were responsible for, and/or you paid late. Additionally, you never paid more than the minimum, causing the debt to remain intact and for the cards to stay maxed out. You are financially savvy and mathematically smart enough to know how credit card debt and interest rates work (not to mention the fact that I provided ALL of that information to you monthly, as well as when I took out the consolidation loan, equally on your behalf, to help minimize the impact of the situation and to resolve it).
The 4 year amount you agreed to pay was based solely on your spending and you agreed to pay it spread over four years; as opposed to the 3, 5 or 6 year periods also offered to you. I agreed to significantly lower your interest rate and the total payoff amount by agreeing to take on a loan against my home and extend it over a time period that you agreed you could manage.
I am incredibly disappointed and hurt by the extent and lengths to which you will go to shirk, once again, your responsibilities, and put them on someone else; with that someone else being a real person and the one person who trusted you and defended you when no one else would.
I won't dignify the remainder of your email commentary with a response; clearly you have chosen to lie not only me, but yourself. However, that is neither here nor there. The only aspect of this situation that is relevant is that you agreed to pay off your credit card debt over a 4 year, 48 installment period, at the rate of $167.62 a month (to which there is a record of to date).
FYI - The family you have chosen to be responsible for feeding, housing and clothing has nothing to do with me or your outstanding debt; as you should be aware, reality and responsibility are cumulative. You acquired the debt prior to taking on the new responsibilities you have chosen to accept, but if does not negate your previous responsibilities.
On a personal note:
The level of reprehensible behavior you have now chosen to exhibit is genuinely repulsive. I feel sorry for you, your family, your friends, your colleagues and especially your child. You are a disgrace."
He replied to her:
"I have no guilt here. I know why I accepted to help you in the first place and I know why I am removing that help now.
Given the way you have ended your correspondence you are not to contact me or any member of my family again. Should you do so it will be met, swiftly, with any and all legal measures open to me."
What makes this even worse is how Stuart knows about Cherie's marriage. The abuse, infidelity, the gaslighting and things she put up with before she had to leave in fear for her own safety. Knowing all this, he still took advantage of her kind heart.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated...
I can't think of any legal measure that Stuart has to make such a threat to Cherie.
It would be difficult to prove to a court the agreement Dave and Cherie had since so much was verbal or done via email accounts that no longer exist (a former employer).
The fact that he left Virginia and now resides in Massachusetts complicates things as well.
