relinquish rights of father

[mommadrae803]

My situation, as mother of my 4yr old daughter is this. The father and I were married but have divorced, currently have joint custody, but he moved to California and has only seen her once in a year and a half. He does not pay child support. I drew up paers with a paralegal that he signed and I have turned into the courts awaiting a hearing date. The papers will give me sole custody, no set visitation schedule, and he wont pay child support. Well, after I filed with the courts, I found out that sole custody does not give me authority to change her name, or let her get adopted by her future step father. My two main concerns. I thought he was giving up rights by these papers, and her father did too, but this isnt the case. I also read somewhere that childsupport can not be waived. My fiance is in the air force, and is stationed in Germany. I have received my passport and plan on moving there this fall, but not without my daughter. Her father knows of this move and is sending a notarized paper with consent for her to get her passport as well, since we currently still have joint custody. My question is, if I go in front of the judge, without an attorney, and tell him the situation, what will he do, any educated guess of my best way I should approach this. I want him to grant sole custody, and no visitation, will he do that even though the paperwork says no child support payments, or can he rule on that and say he agrees with what my ex and i submitted? I dont want my ex to have rights, can the judge do that with what was submitted or do i need more forms signed and notarized by my ex? Help, please

 

[Duranie]

First of all, if there is no order of child support he does not have to pay.

He is the father of the child, and you cannot change the fathers last name, or have her adopted out by your husband without his permission. The courts will generally not terminate rights unless you are remarried and your husband adopts.

I assume you did not have an attorney when you divorced? Sole custody does not mean terminating rights, it basically means you have the power to make most decisions regarding the child, adbsent any other order the decree might say.

If you are going to court and you want no visitation (why I have no idea, he is her dad) then don't expect any child support and if you ask for it, I can imagine dad will probably then decide he doesn't want you to move.

You have to have a good reason for wanting no visits. I am not sure if it is in your best interest to not ask for any. It will come across to the judge that you are trying to prevent the child from having a relationship with her father.

Honestly I would ask for permission to move, then when you and your fiancee get married, then you can look into adoption.

So, you cannot automatically take away dad's rights or visitastion unless he agrees and does not fight you.

We are only hearing one side of the story but it seems you do not encourage any relationship with the child so perhaps he is tired of fighting with you and is allowing it.

 

[mommadrae803]

the problem is that he lies, doesnt follow through with what he says about calling her,or seeing her, or paying for anything. he called me wanting to make a deal because he said he couldnt pay child support, when really it is his choice of lifestlyle and what he does with his money. his wages are garnished, but it is set to his life insurance sales, so he doesnt make those sales in his name, but makes mortgages sales because that isnt garnished but yet still doesnt make payments to the courts for his own daughter. He thought he was signing off his rights, with this paperwork, so did I. but actually he isnt, just child support, and no set visitation schedule, because he moved to California 7 mos ago. If he still has rights, he should be paying support. He knows about my move to Germany, and is sending a letter so she can get a passport.

 

[Duranie]

If you want child support, it is your responsibility to file for it.