My jurisdiction is: British Columbia, Canada
I am 20 years old and 12 weeks pregnant. I'm asking questions ahead of time so I can go into the future well prepared.
I found out I was pregnant (completely unexpected, I was taking birth control properly) after the father (25 years of age) and I had been seperated (not married, just a long term relationship). Due to some hardships I had been living with a friends family a distance away. I had promised to have an abortion if there was an unexpected pregnancy during the relationship with the father.
I did not want to have the operation, but because I had promised previously, I said I would go through with it. Unfortunately my friend's family was pro-life, and when I brought up the possibility of having the operation they did not react well. The father insisted I come stay with him until I was done with the operation, back working, and able to afford my own place.
I wished to take some time to consider it, because I was worried about putting my well being into his hands, but he insisted that waiting was only going to make matters harder, and after the family's reaction I agreed and was escorted by him back to his house.
We were going through all the motions of setting up the operation, but it was delayed due to personal medical complications. I had previously warned him that I would be very emotionally unstable because of the situation, and he said that was fine. When the date was set, I had an emotional breakdown because I did not want to go through with it, but I said I still would. To try and de-stress the situation and calm my emotions I went out to a friends because being around the father was not helping me feel any better about it.
The following morning he showed up with my belongings (not all of them though), and told me not to speak to him or try to contact him, stranding me at my friends with no money and no home.
I have tried to contact him via email solely based on a)getting back my belongings and b) about the baby to be, since I feel no reason to go through with the operation I did not want just for his sake. I left my personal emotions and our history out of the attempts at contacting him, only asking for my items back, and to find out whether or not he still wanted to be involved with his future child. He has not replied in any way.
Before agreeing to have the operation, he did say he wished to be involved in everything and I was willing to oblige in including him in ultrasounds and naming because I did not want it to be a large battle. However, when I was staying with him, I found out he was buying a quarter pound of marijuana every two weeks to sell between friends, as well as drinking quite frequently and living in a constant state of inebriation between the two substances.
Having had parents constantly on substances, I do not wish that for my child. He has no experience with children, and said himself he did not wish to be a father. However I cannot see him ignoring the existence of a child of his being in this world. I'm worried for the future and my baby to be.
I'm not sure what to do at the moment, but I don't want to leave this until the baby is born and try to figure it all out then while caring for my newborn.
What sort of rights do I have as a future mother? Are there any sort of legal steps I should take to prevent that sort of environment for my child? Should I allow joint custody, or go for full custody? Would I even be eligible for full custody?
(I apologize if this is in any way long winded, I was not sure what details in this situation were not needed to be said, as it all seems connected for me.)
I am 20 years old and 12 weeks pregnant. I'm asking questions ahead of time so I can go into the future well prepared.
I found out I was pregnant (completely unexpected, I was taking birth control properly) after the father (25 years of age) and I had been seperated (not married, just a long term relationship). Due to some hardships I had been living with a friends family a distance away. I had promised to have an abortion if there was an unexpected pregnancy during the relationship with the father.
I did not want to have the operation, but because I had promised previously, I said I would go through with it. Unfortunately my friend's family was pro-life, and when I brought up the possibility of having the operation they did not react well. The father insisted I come stay with him until I was done with the operation, back working, and able to afford my own place.
I wished to take some time to consider it, because I was worried about putting my well being into his hands, but he insisted that waiting was only going to make matters harder, and after the family's reaction I agreed and was escorted by him back to his house.
We were going through all the motions of setting up the operation, but it was delayed due to personal medical complications. I had previously warned him that I would be very emotionally unstable because of the situation, and he said that was fine. When the date was set, I had an emotional breakdown because I did not want to go through with it, but I said I still would. To try and de-stress the situation and calm my emotions I went out to a friends because being around the father was not helping me feel any better about it.
The following morning he showed up with my belongings (not all of them though), and told me not to speak to him or try to contact him, stranding me at my friends with no money and no home.
I have tried to contact him via email solely based on a)getting back my belongings and b) about the baby to be, since I feel no reason to go through with the operation I did not want just for his sake. I left my personal emotions and our history out of the attempts at contacting him, only asking for my items back, and to find out whether or not he still wanted to be involved with his future child. He has not replied in any way.
Before agreeing to have the operation, he did say he wished to be involved in everything and I was willing to oblige in including him in ultrasounds and naming because I did not want it to be a large battle. However, when I was staying with him, I found out he was buying a quarter pound of marijuana every two weeks to sell between friends, as well as drinking quite frequently and living in a constant state of inebriation between the two substances.
Having had parents constantly on substances, I do not wish that for my child. He has no experience with children, and said himself he did not wish to be a father. However I cannot see him ignoring the existence of a child of his being in this world. I'm worried for the future and my baby to be.
I'm not sure what to do at the moment, but I don't want to leave this until the baby is born and try to figure it all out then while caring for my newborn.
What sort of rights do I have as a future mother? Are there any sort of legal steps I should take to prevent that sort of environment for my child? Should I allow joint custody, or go for full custody? Would I even be eligible for full custody?
(I apologize if this is in any way long winded, I was not sure what details in this situation were not needed to be said, as it all seems connected for me.)
