Power of Attorney- COVID victim, took estate and money?

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Jeff Jot

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Illinois
My question is this.
Someone I've known for many years in their 50s started spending a lot of time with her next door neighbor. He is a senior in his mid 70s, never married and with no children, and very overweight.
What I did not know until a few days ago was, he also had brain cancer. She never told me this, which I think is strange.

At any rate, last week he evidently contracted COVID and she drove him to the hospital in his car, upon his asking. The guy is retired with a big house, a big expensive car, and quite obviously a lot of money.
What has happened since has been somewhat dizzying. After going in with COVID, he has ended up on a respirator, having "13 mini strokes", being on a catheter and is now undergoing dialysis. He has been sedated and unconscious about a week now (in a comatose state). She is not only driving his car around during this time, and living in his house while he's in the hospital.... but is weirdly making all the decisions as to what procedures are being done on him.

What I just can't believe is, where is his family? I have not seen anyone. She says she's talking to the family but I only get news through her. I found out just today that apparently she has somehow gotten Power of Attorney over him- the explanation being his family was afraid to go in to the hospital since he has COVID, she was not, and so he signed the document before he went unconscious.
She also says that "We can't find the lawyer who did his will." When I asked her, "Does that make you executor of his estate?" she answered "I don't know....." in such a way that that having known her for years, meant that's exactly what she has been thinking. This woman is a money shark.

I discussed this with my father who is a retired lawyer but a confirmed pessimist. He says, "She basically took his money, its hers, everything." followed by "She may as well just write the deed of the house to herself." Is this true? If so I'm just having a hard time comprehending it.
 
Jeff Jot said:
My question is this.
Someone I've known for many years in their 50s started spending a lot of time with her next door neighbor. He is a senior in his mid 70s, never married and with no children, and very overweight.
What I did not know until a few days ago was, he also had brain cancer. She never told me this, which I think is strange.

At any rate, last week he evidently contracted COVID and she drove him to the hospital in his car, upon his asking. The guy is retired with a big house, a big expensive car, and quite obviously a lot of money.
What has happened since has been somewhat dizzying. After going in with COVID, he has ended up on a respirator, having "13 mini strokes", being on a catheter and is now undergoing dialysis. He has been sedated and unconscious about a week now (in a comatose state). She is not only driving his car around during this time, and living in his house while he's in the hospital.... but is weirdly making all the decisions as to what procedures are being done on him.

What I just can't believe is, where is his family? I have not seen anyone. She says she's talking to the family but I only get news through her. I found out just today that apparently she has somehow gotten Power of Attorney over him- the explanation being his family was afraid to go in to the hospital since he has COVID, she was not, and so he signed the document before he went unconscious.
She also says that "We can't find the lawyer who did his will." When I asked her, "Does that make you executor of his estate?" she answered "I don't know....." in such a way that that having known her for years, meant that's exactly what she has been thinking. This woman is a money shark.

I discussed this with my father who is a retired lawyer but a confirmed pessimist. He says, "She basically took his money, its hers, everything." followed by "She may as well just write the deed of the house to herself." Is this true? If so I'm just having a hard time comprehending it.
Click to expand...

If you think she may be financially abusing this man report it.

Illinois Department on Aging Elder Abuse Hotline - Evanston Public Library
 
Jeff Jot said:
I discussed this with my father who is a retired lawyer but a confirmed pessimist. He says, "She basically took his money, its hers, everything." followed by "She may as well just write the deed of the house to herself." Is this true? If so I'm just having a hard time comprehending it.
Click to expand...

There are laws and penalties for what she is doing. She could end up in prison.
 
What creeped me out is that I finally went to the hospital to see him yesterday. She was not there and I said my name and started talking to him. He was on two big machines, dialysis.... had a urine bag and a respirator, it was just unbelievable. How could he possibly be in this state? He was just walking and talking last week. But as soon as I said hello and started talking he jerked in his bed really hard, almost like he was trying to jump out of bed. I thought at first he was having a stroke. But then he laid still. I told him we were rooting for him and that things were going to work out. And then he jerked again, a big spasm.
I went home and then I kept thinking, for the life of me it really looked like he was hellbent on trying to tell me something but couldn't speak.

I called around and finally found his business partner and said 'are you aware his next door neighbor is making all the decisions and he's been on life support' and that I had never seen any of his family since he went downhill, and that she was driving his car. He said yes but then added "they've been dating 'for years'."
I was just floored by that.
I was very much under the impression she was dating a lawyer, closer to her age, 'for years'. I mean the man is old enough to be her father. She NEVER told me they were dating each other.
I said I was concerned and that I wasn't aware of their relationship, I thought her boyfriend was a lawyer and left it at that. I didn't leave my name.
IDK. What would you have done? For some reason I'm just feel revolted by all this and I don't know why. I know its not my place but it just doesn't feel right.
 
Jeff Jot said:
I was very much under the impression she was dating a lawyer, closer to her age, 'for years'. I mean the man is old enough to be her father. She NEVER told me they were dating each other.
I said I was concerned and that I wasn't aware of their relationship, I thought her boyfriend was a lawyer and left it at that. I didn't leave my name.
IDK. What would you have done? For some reason I'm just feel revolted by all this and I don't know why. I know its not my place but it just doesn't feel right.
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There have always been men who date much younger women and probably always will be. That's not always a set up for a scam. In some cases the couple (both of them) are truly in love and wouldn't do anything to hurt the other person. If she was really looking to get in on his money she'd have been pressing him for a lot of those years to get married. She'd be guaranteed a share of his estate when he died had they married. Maybe she asked for that and he said no.

That said, if it doesn't feel right to you then contact the state, county, or city agency that investigates abuse of elderly persons and report what you know. Since it does not appear that you are a relative of his, there is not much more you can do beyond that unless you can happen to find a member of his family to report it. That relative would have more options. But if that relative had nothing to do with him all these years and this woman was really dating him and made him happy, who do you think he'd prefer most of his stuff go to? She gets nothing if she's not included in any of his estate plans (will, trust, etc) if there are not married, so if the will doesn't mention her or the will is invalid, she gets nothing. If he put her in his will while competent, that may give you a good insight on how he really felt about her.
 
When my father and stepmother were married, she was 36 (not quite nine years older than me) and he was 52. They were married for 34 years. He died five years ago and she is still grieving. Just because there is a wide gap in their ages doesn't mean there wasn't a sincere relationship between them.
 
Well, I have known this woman and of her doings for a great many years and let me put it this way: she's a money shark. As a long time acquaintance, she once she tried to "give" me a car "as a friend" she said she got for $3000 and no longer needed, that she bought the day before at an auction for $2000. She just flat out lied what she paid for it. I found that out because I called the auction. I just could not believe it. I was really upset by this. But it simply is the way she is- a nice person in other regards, just don't trust her with any money matters.
Many more things have happened to other people. Including a pattern of repeatedly short changing people in business transactions, making them very angry and she's spent a lot of time in court. I've seen her lie about what she paid reselling other people things and once I commented, "Doesn't that bother you?" and she replied, "Oh. Thats business."

I would never want to come between her and a dollar bill, let alone having her making life decisions if she stood to make a buck, nooooooooo, lol. The other thing is, she's also mentioned to me when I've asked updates about this poor man spiraling unbelievably in the hospital that "We can't find the attorney who did the will". We(??).
She hid the fact that the old man had brain cancer from me, and never said they were dating.
I was under the impression all this time her boyfriend was the lawyer.
It all really looks like she heard 'brain cancer' and latched on to this guy as a potential inheritance check, and knowing her it would be likely. The whole thing just fills me with deep resentment like its all wrong and I feel sorry for this man. IDK.
Another thing weird comment in conversation when we were discussing the will- I brought it up out of suspicion asking how he was doing, just to see what her reply was. She says, "I feel so evil." It was just a really strange thing to say.

So what happens if they in fact can't find any will? Because I would not put it past her to drop it in the shredder if she found it in his house, which she has the keys to.
All she's told me is he has one living aunt and some "cousins" and a number of friends. I have not met or seen any of them, ever.
If I can't do anything fine, I understand its not my place anyway. Though I am very caught up in the event and always asking for updates. So I just want an idea of how this will pan out and how the law works.
 
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She also made a rather disturbing comment yesterday about her disagreeing with the doctor on what antibiotics he should be taking and said, "I can pop a pill down his throat when they're not looking easy enough."
uchhh. All I can say is thank god she isn't MY power of Attorney.
Quite a lot of drama right? Yeah I'm pretty worn out by it all myself lol.
 
She says she has a 'gut feeling' and is taking him off life support tonight, if anyone has any comments you better hurry. I'm heading out there at 7. I hope at least one of his family members or friends is there!

I'm trying to hash out "They can't find the attorney who did his will". Well surely if she had written another will naming herself... she would have had her lawyer 2nd boyfriend certify it right.
So it must be a really old will? If it was something recent I would have to think that attorney would be able to be found. An old will would definitely not name her as the benefactor. It sounds weird though to me.
 
Jeff Jot said:
She says she has a 'gut feeling' and is taking him off life support tonight, if anyone has any comments you better hurry.
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Since she is not related to him, the doctors won't take him off life support on her request unless she has a durable medical power of attorney (DPOA) that gives her that power and that they will recognize as valid. He'd also need to be determined to be incompetent and unlikely to ever improve by the doctors.

If she has the DPOA then there may be nothing anyone can do to stop the request being honored without someone who has standing filing for an emergency order that prohibits yanking the life support until a proper court hearing can be scheduled to hear all the objections to it. In general neighbors and friends who don't hold a DPOA from her don't have standing to bring that kind of action. A relative would have to do that.
 
Yeah I don't understand this at all. He has only been comatose for a week, and they're not even waiting until Wednesday for his round of antibiotics to clear. Though supposedly he looks terrible and 'may be in pain'. There is allegedly just the single 95 year old aunt who she talked to on the phone last night, and said she was ok with pulling the plugs but wanted a priest to be there. So its been rescheduled for 11am today. Going out there soon. I kinda resent that her lawyer 2nd boyfriend will also be present. And not a friend, family member, no one else coming to say goodbye?

She has been discussing his will and the estate too much. The old man may have genuinely fallen for her, and even legitimately left her everything. But I very much doubt THIS woman would be dating a 300 lb man with brain cancer 25 years her senior unless she was getting something out of it. She is an opportunist to the extreme. In fact she had always had him doing free work for her in her rental properties, and was using his expensive tools like a toolshed.
I spent this morning trying to find just one of his relatives online or even his mother's obituary, which would surely name a relative. I just want to talk to one of them. No luck.
I know I'm going to resent her being a good deal richer.
I feel that life is unfair, the good die and evil prospers :/ sigh
 
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Jeff Jot said:
Yeah I don't understand this at all. He has only been comatose for a week, and they're not even waiting until Wednesday for his round of antibiotics to clear. Though supposedly he looks terrible and 'may be in pain'. There is allegedly just the single 95 year old aunt who she talked to on the phone last night, and said she was ok with pulling the plugs but wanted a priest to be there. So its been rescheduled for 11am today. Going out there soon. I kinda resent that her lawyer 2nd boyfriend will also be present. And not a friend, family member, no one else coming to say goodbye?

She has been discussing his will and the estate too much. The old man may have genuinely fallen for her, but I very much doubt THIS woman would be dating a 300 lb man with brain cancer 25 years her senior unless she was getting something out of it. She is an opportunist to the extreme. In fact she had always had him doing free work for her in her rental properties, and was using his expensive tools like a toolshed.
I spent this morning trying to find just one of his relatives online or even his mother's obituary, which would surely name a relative. I just want to talk to one of them. No luck.
I know I'm going to resent her being a good deal richer.
I feel that life is unfair, the good die and evil prospers :/ sigh
Click to expand...

So...did you ever report your concerns to Elder Services/ Hospital staff ?
 
Well that would be extremely awkward considering 1) I'm working for her myself, she hired ME to do work at her rental properties and I need the job and 2) They immediately would say to her "Your friend here thinks your motives are suspect and you're after his money?"
Not to mention hugely inappropriate if any family actually IS there. What proof do I have? I've got nothing.
And if the guy did write a will that named her to get it all, she'll simply put on a faucet show at my outrageous suggestions and they'll side with her. They won't want to believe he was fooled.
If there was some way to make a report anonymously I would do it. But she sprung the decision to pull the plug just last night. Any agency would not even be open until Monday. That will be too late :/
I could just yell out "Wait!!! Don't do it, she's after the money!!!" and I'd never live that down for the rest of my life.
I don't know really how bad off he is anyway. Maybe he is in pain.
What would you do?
 
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Jeff Jot said:
Well that would be extremely awkward considering 1) I'm working for her myself, she hired ME to do work at her rental properties and I need the job and 2) They immediately would say to her "Your friend here thinks your motives are suspect and you're after his money?"
Not to mention hugely inappropriate if any family actually IS there. What proof do I have? I've got nothing.
And if the guy did write a will that named her to get it all, she'll simply put on a faucet show at my outrageous suggestions and they'll side with her. They won't want to believe he was fooled.
If there was some way to make a report anonymously I would do it. But she sprung the decision to pull the plug just last night. Any agency would not even be open until Monday. That will be too late :/
I could just yell out "Wait!!! Don't do it, she's after the money!!!" and I'd never live that down for the rest of my life.
I don't know really how bad off he is anyway. Maybe he is in pain.
What would you do?
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Wow. So you didn't join this site to find a way of helping this man...you just want to whine about your "friend".

What would I do? I would speak to someone at Elder Services or a Social Worker in the Hospital about my concerns. I also wouldn't work for someone who would "pull the plug" on a sick old man to line her pocket.

^ is presuming you are factual in your comments here and not just posting conspiracy theory b.s. based on little fact and much imagination.
 


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I can't help wondering how much of this is concern for a man who is clearly at the end of his life anyway and doubtless suffering, and how much of it is jealousy that someone else may be coming into some money when the OP isn't.
 
Yes I was waiting for the jealousy accusations.
My family has already volleyed them at me. Well, YOU may be projecting your greed over money and so that's where your mind automatically went.
He's gone :( We were out there most of the afternoon. It was extremely sad. I however feel tremendously better about this for a couple reasons: 1) FINALLY I heard his aunt's voice actually on the phone. I heard the Aunt involved in decisions as well as several of his lifelong friends phoning in. She was holding the phone up to his ear and letting them talk to him. I talked to the Aunt myself for the first time. Also the friends are genuinely out of state. It was heartbreaking hearing them say goodbye to this guy.

2) The Aunt most defintely was involved in the decision to take him off life support. She may have been 95 but that woman sounded sharp as a tack to me 3) We asked him if he wanted to be removed from the machines 4 times. Three times to wiggle his left foot, and once to wiggle his left thumb. I clearly saw him do all four myself, and so did the nurse.
He wanted to go. This was not as I had feared, somebody trapped by a black widow.
As for her, what I saw looked like genuine concern, though it looked more something like a daughter/father thing to me. I don't doubt she got involved first because she saw cash, but he needed someone, appreciated the attention right especially then so who can say?
This is my first witness of a full fleged death, and I saw it to the hilt. They took him off the machines and he breathed hard a for about an hour while the priest read the rosary. Then his breathing stopped but his heart kept going for awhile. It was something.

As far as the original POA question, I think it does have merit. She's definitely grabbed the huge car for herself, though the story about the will attorney disappearing is strange. Apparently there's a safe in the house that has the will, which he did NOT give her the combination to. The friend of 30 years is coming next week from out of state, and says he "has always had a key to the house". apparently they'll open it then. We'll see what that says. I'll hear about it I'm sure.

She says to the old Aunt, "Let me know what I can do for you." and the aunt replies over the phone, "Thank you sweetheart. And let me know what I can do for you." Something in her tone made me feel despite her age, she doesn't sound like someone who can be schnookered. So if your bored, here's your drama situation feel free to comment lol.
 
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