S
Sleepless in Buffalo
Guest
- Jurisdiction
- New York
Ok I need advice badly! Back story, my mother was the live in caretaker of my grandparents until she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and died in Feb 2014. We were very close and I was absolutely devasted. Because my grandparents had very few family left (all 3 of their children passed before them), I became responsible for their care. They needed meds and meals 3 x's a day and I would get multiple calls from my grandma in the middle of the night that my grandpa fell or left the house (he had dementia that came and went but when it was bad it was rally bad.
They were in the process of spending down for Medicaid. After my mom passed, my only goal was to to keep them together, because they were all they had left and my grandma qualified for assisted living and my grandpa did not. I even took off 12 weeks fmla time from work to care for them.,My grandfather ended up dying 4 months after my mother did and my grandma lost 2/3 of her income. I began covering her bills because I was married and we had a decent joint income. I kept her at home as long as I could covering all her bills and paying aids when I was working. I was still caring for her and working full time. I gave her meds and meals daily. I made her schedule. I paid for her caregivers and bills both out of my and her account. She has some mobility problems but still had her wits.
One day I found her on the floor and she said she forgot to hit the life altert button I got her. At this time I realIzed it wasn't safe for her to live alone. I placed her in an assisted living facility and the staff recommended she needed a power of attorney while she was still coherent, for her affairs. Being the only one, I agreed. Her ss wasn't enough to cover her rent and her bills so I continued to cover them out of my account. Nobody ever explained anything to me about what being a poa entails and fiduciary responsibility.
So fast forward a few months. My husband left me so I lost half my income. I had medical bills, I was covering both my moms and grandpas estate while also taking care of my grandmas affairs. I also got custody of my 15 year old half brother because he had nobody else. Long story short; I became behind on my bills. I did the accounting from my bank account on what I spent on my grandparents and found the total sum to be $11,000. When I became behind on my bills, I began using my grandmas account to catch up, thinking it was ok because I loaned them so much. I was planning on bringing my grandma to live w me because she was unhappy at the assisted living place. I even paid for some work on the house to make it more elderly friendly. Well then she went out by ambulance for internal bleeding. Her warfarin level was triple what it should be and she lost nearly half her blood and nearly died. She was hospitalized for a while and had to go to rehab after finally being released. After that incident she was never the same again. she forgots who she is, who I , how to eat... Everything. So she was no longer able to come home w me because she now requires around the clock care that I couldn't provide.
One day an Adult Protective Services case worker showed up at my house. He a tated that her bank called them due to unisual withdrawals. I explained, showed him the accounting for the last 18 months and took him to visit my grandma. He told me he saw no issues and should be able to clear this up. 2 weeks later I have a letter on my door from a Detective. I called him and he said APS made a complaint and I need to come in for an interview. Should I get a lawyer? I'm so scared. I was told that the fact I spent $11,000 of my own money meant nothing because I breached my fiduciary duty as POA (which I didn't know about) by using her money and also by cominggling funds. Now I'm the subject of a criminal investigation and I'm so worried. What should I do? Btw? I used around $4,000 of the $11,000 I loaned them. Since the amount is over $1,000, it's felony larceny. Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated. I'm so scared and worried. Thank you.
They were in the process of spending down for Medicaid. After my mom passed, my only goal was to to keep them together, because they were all they had left and my grandma qualified for assisted living and my grandpa did not. I even took off 12 weeks fmla time from work to care for them.,My grandfather ended up dying 4 months after my mother did and my grandma lost 2/3 of her income. I began covering her bills because I was married and we had a decent joint income. I kept her at home as long as I could covering all her bills and paying aids when I was working. I was still caring for her and working full time. I gave her meds and meals daily. I made her schedule. I paid for her caregivers and bills both out of my and her account. She has some mobility problems but still had her wits.
One day I found her on the floor and she said she forgot to hit the life altert button I got her. At this time I realIzed it wasn't safe for her to live alone. I placed her in an assisted living facility and the staff recommended she needed a power of attorney while she was still coherent, for her affairs. Being the only one, I agreed. Her ss wasn't enough to cover her rent and her bills so I continued to cover them out of my account. Nobody ever explained anything to me about what being a poa entails and fiduciary responsibility.
So fast forward a few months. My husband left me so I lost half my income. I had medical bills, I was covering both my moms and grandpas estate while also taking care of my grandmas affairs. I also got custody of my 15 year old half brother because he had nobody else. Long story short; I became behind on my bills. I did the accounting from my bank account on what I spent on my grandparents and found the total sum to be $11,000. When I became behind on my bills, I began using my grandmas account to catch up, thinking it was ok because I loaned them so much. I was planning on bringing my grandma to live w me because she was unhappy at the assisted living place. I even paid for some work on the house to make it more elderly friendly. Well then she went out by ambulance for internal bleeding. Her warfarin level was triple what it should be and she lost nearly half her blood and nearly died. She was hospitalized for a while and had to go to rehab after finally being released. After that incident she was never the same again. she forgots who she is, who I , how to eat... Everything. So she was no longer able to come home w me because she now requires around the clock care that I couldn't provide.
One day an Adult Protective Services case worker showed up at my house. He a tated that her bank called them due to unisual withdrawals. I explained, showed him the accounting for the last 18 months and took him to visit my grandma. He told me he saw no issues and should be able to clear this up. 2 weeks later I have a letter on my door from a Detective. I called him and he said APS made a complaint and I need to come in for an interview. Should I get a lawyer? I'm so scared. I was told that the fact I spent $11,000 of my own money meant nothing because I breached my fiduciary duty as POA (which I didn't know about) by using her money and also by cominggling funds. Now I'm the subject of a criminal investigation and I'm so worried. What should I do? Btw? I used around $4,000 of the $11,000 I loaned them. Since the amount is over $1,000, it's felony larceny. Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated. I'm so scared and worried. Thank you.
