please help me

[D78ez]

I will make this as breif as possible. Me and my ex have a 23 month old little girl. We have been split up for a year and 4 months now. I was just arrested on dec 5th and released on the 6th. My charges were assault/dm. I got them all dropped cause it was all a lie. Soon as I got my papers from the state saying it was dropped I called my ex to see if I could see my daughter. She told me know. Shes told me many times she wants me out of her and her soon to be husband out of kadee (my daughter) life. I have not seen my little girl since dec 1st. I had a freind help me get all the papers I needed from financial to parenting plan. I filled them all out and went to the clerk of courts in bartow to find out I cant file any paperwork cause im not paying child support. My child support case was setup back in sept. Its being done in hillsbouro county cause thats wheer my ex use to live. In oct I went there and told them im willing to pay the proposed order amount so I can get it out of the way. the dept of revenue is handling my child support case and they are not giving me any answers or time period of how much longer till i get served with the papers to tell me to start paying. since the state is dealing with my child support polk county cant touch anything for me. this doesnt make and sense and since when do you have to pay child support to see your child. Im tired of being thrown around, I am tired of people looking at me bad cause im the father, not all farthers are the same. I am one of them that wants time with my child and not every other weekend. I am going to try and get shared custody. Why does a father not have a right like the mother. Anyways I also have lost my job cause I got arrested. the company doesnt allowe any kind of arrests even thought I got it dropped. Also I have a wonderful girlfreind and we are having a baby boy next month. We have one vehicle (until I get money to fix other) im not on here asking for money just some advice. I am so stressed out about everything. I dont have money for a lawyer. I want to try and get everything done in polk county and done asap. I miss my daughter and we still have her xmas presents. Im not a deadbeat dad. Im white 31 years old with only one child and one on the way. Please any advice or help.
Godbless>Derek

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

Have you legally been determined to be the father of this little girl?

You haven't paid child support (even voluntarily) and it appears you're waiting around for some court to tell you must do that.

At what point does this not make you a deadbeat father?

Gail

 

[D78ez]

Yes peternity has been legally established by the mother and me in tampa. I have gave her money but it was not court ordered and I agrred to the proposed order for support and have not heard anything from them nor have I got answers from them yet.

 

[mightymoose]

Paying child support has absolutely nothing to do with your visitation rights. If there is not a current visitation order then follow through and obtain one. Support orders will come in due time, but was said, the absence of an order does not make it ok for you to contribute nothing.... however, at the same time, if she needs support from you then she should be asking for it.

 

[Duranie]

I agree child support and visitation have nothing to do with each other and without a court order you dont have to pay. However any money you give her, give her as a check and make it child support.

If paternity has been established you need to go to court and file for visitation.