Please help me!!

[tammytam30]

I am a single mother of a beautiful 9 month old little girl in nursing school full time and my daughters father claims that he is going to take me to court to take my daughter away from me. He was ordered to pay child support and doesnt think he should have to because I dont work and I attend school full time,so he feels that I am not doing anything to support our daughter. (I actually just started a part time job today) He does nothing to see her,he lives 3 miles away from me and will not make any attempts to see her, all he does it email, text and call me to argue and fight. I have filed 2 police reports on him for harrasment. He is in a custody battle for his 4 year old daughter and claims that he may lose his case because of me, because he was ordered to pay child support to me. Our daughter was very ill and required a hospital visit I tryed for 5 hours to get a hold of him to see if he would go with me and he didnt return my call, when he finally did he told me not to bother to let him know of her condition, because he was mad at me. I have since told him that since we cant come to any agreement and cant get along that he will not be spending time with our daughter until a time ir ordered by the court. Because I dont think it is right that he talk so bad about me to our daughter, and besides he doesnt make any effort to see her anyway, he says whats the point it always has to be on your terms anyway. He is upset that I wont allow her to stay the night with him and I wont allow him to take her to WV to his parents home. I am sorry she has never went a night away from me and she wont until the court tells me different. I just need someones honest opinon, am I wrong for keeping her from him under these conditions? Please any and all adivise is appreciated.

 

[irish223]

Your ex probably will not get sole physical and legal custody, but he will get visitation, or possibly even shared custody. Although you do not have a court order for visitation, it may not be in your favor to keep the child from her father. If he files for custody/visitation, the court may order a phased-in schedule, ultimately leading to overnights/weekends or more. You should consult a lawyer.

 

[seffysmiles]

The last lawyer I had gave me a very good rule. NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR EX! My ex threatens all the time to take my girls away. He has to prove without a reasonable doubt that I am an unfit mother to get them. Same goes for you. Keep your chin up. You are letting him see her. Don't worry about overnight yet, there are no papers saying you have to. Keep every text, e-mail, anything with a threat or harassing statement. It will help in court. If he calls to fight hang up. There is no law that says you have to stand there and listen to an argument. Just be sure to say before you hang up, "When you want to talk in a reasonable manner call me, until then goodbye." I did this and it ticked my ex off he really threatened me on the phone and said he was going to tell everyone I was abusing our children to get them away from me. I called my lawyer he wrote a letter stating that he needed to quit making acusations about any alleged abuse when there is no evidence or case pending with DCFS. I also got it set up so he can only communicate with me, except for emergencies, by e-mail. The majority of harassment stopped. Good luck. Like I said keep your chin up and NEVER listen to your ex.

 

[tammytam30]

Thank you both for your responses!! I have been keeping everything, including a daily journal, since the day she was born. Now I am the bad guy because I told him he could not take her to the circus ( she is only 9 months old, there is no way she will sit still). So he is really mad now. Thank you again, I appreciate it.