Placement visitation

[feelinghelpless]

Jurisdiction

Wisconsin

Hello I have a 15 1/2 yr old daughter that has told her father numerous times that she wants to move in with me her mother and visit him. The environment at her fathers is abusive, controlling, unhealthy, alot of fighting with his wife, my daughter lives in fear of her father and step mother. Recently my 18 yr old moved home with me and my 15 1/2 year old told her father that that is what she wanted as well. He has played the manipulation game with both of my daughters. My ex told my 15 1/2 year old that she could come live with me for the summer and then they would sit down and talk before school as to what my daughter wants. the only thing that my ex is worried about with my daughter being with me is that I will take him to court so he will have to pay child support. Its as though my ex has used our daughters as a meal ticket so he doesn't have to pay. Now today he called my daughter saying that she had to come back to his house, and she doesn't want to. She is in tears, sick to her stomach and I dont feel safe letting her go back to his house. What are my options? Divorce decree also states visitation is until Monday @ 6.

 

[adjusterjack]

The environment at her fathers is abusive, controlling, unhealthy, alot of fighting with his wife, my daughter lives in fear of her father and step mother.

I feel like I'm listening to a broken record. Same old tune sung by the non-custodial spouse about how terrible it is for the child at the home of the custodial spouse.

Here's how it works. If the environment is so bad you report it to Child Protective Services. If you aren't willing to get CPS involved then it's NOT bad enough to change anything.

Here's what you do: Tomorrow you pack up your child and send her back to her father. You tell her that SHE has to follow the custody and visitation COURT ORDER and, until a judge says otherwise, she needs to stop whining, tough it out, and behave herself.

Then, if you so desire, you properly petition the court for custody. Just understand (and your daughter should also understand) that if you are successful your daughter will still have to spend lots of time with her father, probably weekends, holidays, and summer. There is no "win" here.

Your daughter isn't too young to learn that life can be unpleasant and that she isn't always going to get what she wants. And neither are you.