College support
Chuck, when I read your post, at first I thought you were my ex - as his name is Chuck! We're somewhat on the same page - so maybe I can fill you in. I am in PA, never married to the father that lives in CO. Jurisdiction was in CO, and age of majority there is age 19. College assistance can be requested providing it is needed to age 21 - if there was a written agreement between parents (which there was, but he backed out this fall) or if a Judge sees situations allow it. There's a twist to this situation though. I never took him back to court for child support modification, as he agreed in writing toward CS modification and college support. He pays toward health and dental, and we split reimbursement payments. He has not paid CS toward the amount he agreed to since 2006. He has ignored my certified mail on how he wishes to handle this - so he left me with no choice but to file litigation.
Okay - now back to you. You need to find out the age of majority in NY or state that has jurisdiction. Also if college assistance (not called child support) applies. The mother could possibly pursue this - and don't you want to help your child in some way to pursue their education? I'm sure the Judge could arrange that you do not pay the mother directly if you request it. And YES, Judges/Attorneys can be biased. I knew for a fact that my ex's lawyer was good buds with the Judge. You can ask for a different Judge if you DO feel there is some type of bias. I am doing so at this point in time. My ex has a nice income - and can easily assist toward his son's education. You could offer to pay for part of tuition/books, and/or meal plans. The Judge will look positive on you for WANTING to help in some manner. This can be paid direct to the college.
Now your child can help too...advise he/she to make good grades and that high GPA will assist in obtaining grants and scholarships. Every little bit helps. Good luck!
I'm not a lawyer, but have an AA in Paralegal Studies, and giving suggestions only.