Out of state relocation

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dbarbeau

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I am a single father living with his daughter in Florida. My girlfriend is a single mother living with her daughter in New York. We have decided to get married. The best situation is for her and her daughter (4 yrs old) to move here. I own a successful company, own a 3 bedroom home in a good neighborhood with good schools. We dated for a significant amount of time in our early twenties (we're both 39 now) but were not ready to settle down and the relationship ended. She was never married to her daughters father, he in fact did not want to have the child when they found she was pregnant. However they do have a joint custody agreement and the child lives with her. My girlfriend can easily find work here and if she would like to stay home with her daughter as opposed to working, that is an option. We are completely aware we need to petition the court for permission to relocate her to Florida. The question is this: We do not want to wait to get married and we plan to have another child together. So the concern is whether being married before petitioning the court would be a detriment or an attribute, and the same for trying to have another child. Would it be bad or good to be married and expecting when asking for the ability to move her and her child here? The childs father is single, living unmarried with a girlfriend, paying child support. We can show the quality of schooling, quality of housing, benefits of having a family atmosphere and can make concessions pertaining to child support. We also have heard that establishing a weblink (video feed) daily time between daughter and father can be beneficial and are able to do so. again the concern is that if we petition without the permanency of a marriage it may bring down our case or that with the marriage it may be misconstrued as attempting to influence the court. Looking for some solid input from those familiar with New York family law. Thanks in advance.
 
And how will this move affect the current visitation?

Will this affect Dad's parenting time AT ALL?

Is Mom prepared to bear the cost of transport?
 
My ex wife lives in New york as well. Visitation would be propsed to be similar to my daughter's. Half of Christmas vacation, Spring break week, and most of the summer vacation. Additionally, her daughter would be available if he should travel here. Dad has admitted in court documents that he leaves most parenting and care to the women in his life (girlfriend, his mother) and he works an odd rotating schedule. his time would be for longer stretches further between as opposed to the current two days at a time. We are able to bear the cost of transport (bringing both children up to NY together and bringing them back together.
 
What you propose has been and is being done. Hire a lawyer, draft an amendment to the current custody agreement, discuss it, seek an agreement, and the court's approval.

It all depends on how much the male parent opposes your proposal. The fact you might marry her will have a minimal impact on the decision. You have no standing in the matter.


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dbarbeau said:
My ex wife lives in New york as well. Visitation would be propsed to be similar to my daughter's. Half of Christmas vacation, Spring break week, and most of the summer vacation. Additionally, her daughter would be available if he should travel here. Dad has admitted in court documents that he leaves most parenting and care to the women in his life (girlfriend, his mother) and he works an odd rotating schedule. his time would be for longer stretches further between as opposed to the current two days at a time. We are able to bear the cost of transport (bringing both children up to NY together and bringing them back together.
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I will respectfully disagree with the Judge on one point - moving to be a with a boyfriend is far less likely to convince a judge, than if you were actually married.

Though you have no standing in the matter at all (and will not, even if you marry Mom), you are a factor, because it would seem that you're the main reason for Mom wanting to move. She currently does not have a job or ties there - and though there are no laws specifically stating this, family court does not usually consider a boyfriend (or in many cases, a very short term marriage) a good enough reason to allow a child to be relocated.

Your girlfriend has, if Dad objects, something of an uphill battle. What will help is your girlfriend having (for example) a long distance parenting plan prepared, a promise that she will bear all transport costs, and enormous consideration for Dad in this.
 
Prosperina, we don't disagree, you just elaborated on the point. This won't be easy, but it can be done if accomodations are made for the dad.


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Thank you Prosperina and Army Judge. She and I are both aware that it will be an uphill battle. The main reason for her to move and not myself is the fact that I already own a suitably sized homeand have an established, successful company both of which will help to provide the stability needed to nurture children. She and I are both aware that I am not a factor in the decision (unless there were some negative aspect to myself or my past). The largest variable we have is the decision to marry first or to apply for relocation first. That's the "elephant in the room". Any lawyer or member of the court will not answer because it could be construed as answering a question which would tell us how to influence the court. Both of you have touched lightly on that question and I thank you both.
 
Good luck, DB.
I'm glad you can read the subtle signs.


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Part of the discussion in any modification of visitation to account for long distance visitation should also include an offer of a cash or certified bond of $5000 to $10,000 that would be forfeit in the event the father is denied access. It's very easy to violate court ordered access across state lines, with the majority of mothers doing so.

According to the US Dept. of Health & Human Services study, "Survey of Absent Parents" over 60% of mothers regularly violate the access rights of fathers, cutting off all contact between the children and their fathers within five years. Unlike child support, mothers are not jailed, even with multiple Contempt of Court ruling against them for violating the fathers' court ordered visitation rights.
 
I do not doubt your input but I must say that in all my research this is the first I've heard of this. Is this to offset child support payments made? Or is it something else? Thank you very much for any info and insights.
 
dbarbeau said:
I do not doubt your input but I must say that in all my research this is the first I've heard of this. Is this to offset child support payments made? Or is it something else? Thank you very much for any info and insights.
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dbarbeau, please understand that Cab has a specific agenda, and much of the information posted is not helpful to the actual poster.
 
Prosperina,
Thank you for confirming my suspicion. The links under Cab's post say alot more than just a web address. The idea of posting a cash bond in a visitation arbitration seemed odd. Almost like "attempting to buy a right to live a free life". Even as a single father who has primary custody of his daughter, and complete faith in our system, I still welcome Cab to further explain his position. And Cab, let me assure you that even though I cannot possibly comment on your situation, there are still some out here who have ONLY the childrens' best interest at heart.
 
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