Not married, Custody issues

[supermomma]

Ex and broke up during pregnancy. Ex visited for 3 weeks after ds was born then to temporary residence. Ex signed AOP and is on BC. Ex was not working (in mid 30s) and main residence was in another state (1000 miles away). He refused to get a job until finishing schjool). I filed for CC and CS when ds was 2 months. DS is now 9 months. Between that time ex visited 3 times for about an hour. Ex never responded to court summons. Court scheduled hearing. Just before hearing, ex filed for paternity test, full custody, and CS. Ex didnt show up for first sheduling with court clerk. Missed court ordered paternity test. Showed up for next ordered test after order implied warrant for arrest. I found out ex moved about an hour away. I have arranged all medical, daycare, and spend every moment w/ds when he is not in daycare. Ex has never engaged in any activities with or for dear son's welfare and has never asked about it. Ex accused me of getting pregnant on purpose. He says he will tell court I am refusing him visitation. Ex has another daughter, in another state (not his home state) that he never sees and is in arrears for CS. Is this a separate issue or can I at least reference this.

I am seeking a minimum of full physical custody with ex having graduated visitation. Is that reasonable? What are his chances for full physical custody or 50/50 custody.?

Courts are long, drawn out, and frustrating...Would it be a bad idea to drop the custody issue?

I am afraid he will accuse me of things that are not true. How do I address that in court? I have never kept phone records or emails from him? I dont know if he ever really called other then the times I talked with him onthe phone.

 

[Duranie]

Well he always has a chance of joint custody. Very unlikely he will get custody and normally 50/50 physical custody is not given with infants. Just curious if he was a deadbeat to his first kid and unemployed why in the heck did you have a kid with him?

It's normal to have gradual, even supervised visits at first but eventually he will likely get unsupervised as him in the child get acquainted.

At this point I would not hesitate to file for custody and set up a visitation schedule. He does have some rights as a dad and even sole custody does not mean he has no rights. Studies have shown that kids are much better off with a father in their lives, so hopefully he will come around and maintain a relationship with the child. You would be wise to encourage that.

Good luck

 

[supermomma]

he was working when we started dating 3.5 years prior and even when we moved in together. about 6 months before breaking up, he decided he would not work until he finished school (with 2 years to go) I asked how could he when he has child support responsibilities. He didnt care, lost his car, went into arrears, all the expenses got lumped onto me, and I just carried the burden till we went separate ways. I got my own place,but because he was having a hard time I let him stay with me. We got back to gether and I got pregnant.....not the best decisions but it is what it is. At 6 months pregnant, he decided he wanted out and wanted to move back to his home state. He came back here for school but very little interest or contact with baby. He already told me he didnt want another CS payment, so he is trying to fight for full custody. He does want to take child back to home state but I know thats not going to happen regardless