Not being allowed contact and told that there is a restraining order on us?

[Mouchois]

I have an odd situation.
Both me and my ex-ex-sister-in-law are going through custody issues with our children.
I was married to one brother, she was married to the other.
Right now, I currently have joint custody, but due to major contempt and failure to cooperate with the orders, my ex and I are going back to court. He is the one that first filed for the motion of temporary change of custody. I have one child
My friend, who just left my ex's brother, does not have any order in place at this time and, due to limited funds, she had to move out of the city (not out of state). She has four children and left the children in the city due to her ex stating he will slap her with kidnapping charges if she took them.
Currently both of our exes our not allowing us to see our children. Her ex has informed her that he filed a paper stating she can't contact the kids at all, yet she has not been served with anything. He refuses to let her talk to them on the phone and threatens her with the police if she comes near.
She has never done anything to harm the kids and up until this point, her ex has been on deployment in Iraq and she has been the primary caregiver. During their marriage, he was severely emotionally abusive to the point where she had come to my house at 3 am one morning due to him smashing in her car window with a baseball bat. I have witnessed him be physically violent towards her.
These two have no orders in place and have been separated for only 5 months

My ex is also not allowing me to see my child, even though I have orders in place. He has just recently became a police officer and has also been threatening legal action against me, although the papers negate everything he says. I currently have a lawyer, but he is out of town until next week and I need to know if there is anything I can do, myself, before he gets back. He has also stated that he put a restraining order on me, but I have not been served with papers and it has been well over 30 days. I've never once done anything to put my child in harms way. I work for the state as an Adult Foster Home caregiver, live with my disabled grandma, and provide very well for my son. I don't drink, smoke or do any partying of any kind, neither does the other mother in this situation.

We are basically being bullied and pushed away from our children by this family. They are refusing any and all contact to us. What can we do? Neither of us are "harmful" to our children and have never done anything to make our exes think that.

I know that there are a lot of details left out in this, but I will be on here all day and checking until my lawyer gets back to answer any and all questions. My new found "sister in divorce" will also be checking in, as we are both sitting here typing this. So please ask questions and we will do our best to answer.

 

[army judge]

You should never take action yourself. Self help remedies generally end badly for the actor. Wait until your lawyer returns.

Your friend needs a lawyer. The other brother is just bluffing. Your friend needs to get the money to hire a lawyer. If she doesn't, she's going to get screwed out of her parental rights.

You're both being set up to make it appear that you're abandoning your kids. The two brothers are bullying you. Just stop communicating and interacting with them. If you could be civil to each other, you'd still be together. Contact them, for the time being through your lawyers.

The brothers are trying to screw you out of custody, make it appear that you've abandoned your kids, and avoid paying child support.

The cop can be dealt with by reporting him to his chief. He's on probation. He just became a cop. File a complaint with his department and report his bullying, threats, and intimidating tactics. Don't go running your mouth off to him about what you're planning to do. Just go and do it. That'll keep his loser carcASS busy. It'll also let someone give him an attitude adjustment.

Your friend needs to get her family and friends to help her get the money to get a lawyer. She might talk with your lawyer and ask if he could start helping her while she raises the money. Maybe you can help her get the money together? At least you can introduce her to your lawyer. Otherwise, she's gonna lose her kids.




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[Mouchois]

My friend is going to be seeing my lawyer as soon as he returns. He has agreed to take both of our cases (I also had a question if that is ethical as far as lawyers go, considering we will be witnesses for each other's cases).
I'm paying for her lawyer until she is able to get on her feet. The brother really did leave her with nothing and no other choice in the matter of moving up-state. She tried to do the right thing by leaving the children in the care of their father until she was able to make a stable living environment (job, house, stable income, etc, which she all has at this point). He is still enlisted in the army, as well, and due for another deployment. He told her that he will be signing over his rights to his mother. Can he do this and still deny her access to the children?

We're mainly just wondering about catching their bluff.

I just want to make the answers clear: They most likely did not file restraining orders, due to the fact that we have not been served, correct? Also, I know of a temporary emergency custody order, is that something that should be considered in my friend's case?

 

[Proserpina]

Oh goodness gracious me NO!!!!

He absolutely CANNOT sign over custody OR his rights to his Mother or anybody else!

Mom NEEDS to do what AJ suggested. If Dad is about to be deployed...Mom is automatically first in line for custody.

Do not listen to these bullies!

 

[Mouchois]

Okay. Haha. I didn't think so!

Sometimes it is so hard to tell with these two due to the fact that they are so sure in what they say. If you negate them, they are quick to respond with "I'll charge you with contempt." or "I'll have you arrested." Their father is currently our town's "head" sheriff (I can't think of the name for the life of me, but I hope you understand what I mean). That one little thing does make us feel insignificant when it comes to legal matters.

I'm mainly just sad that I do not get my son for the 4th this year due to my ex not allowing me to see him, even though it clearly states in our current agreement it is my year. But, I will let it be and wait until my lawyer is able to return.

Her situation, though, is the concerning one. She doesn't have any orders in place at this time for visitation, so neither of us know the legalities on her situation. Also, she will have to work with my lawyer long distance, so that makes matters complicated.

Thank you both for your advice.
We're still confused on some things, but you have answered some of our questions wonderfully (and given us a bit more confidence to fight back).

 

[Proserpina]

Good luck to all of you

Be strong - hang in there and continue supporting each other.

That's truly what friends are for

 

[army judge]

We're mainly just wondering about catching their bluff.

Just ignore them. They are bullies and liars. Let your lawyer deal with them and their antics. For the time being ignore them. Don't sink to their childish, mean spirited, high schoolish level.

I just want to make the answers clear: They most likely did not file restraining orders, due to the fact that we have not been served, correct? Also, I know of a temporary emergency custody order, is that something that should be considered in my friend's case?

No, they're just running their mouths, STOP listening to them. You don't need them to do anything but honor the court orders, just like you're going to do.

Yes, temporary custody could be in the cards for your friend. Your/her lawyer can tell you both about how that works. As the dad is being deployed, she stands next in line like Proserpina said. But, don't do anything stupid to jeopardize that.

Their dad is the High Sheriff, or the Undersheriff. The high sheriff is the top dog, the Undersheriff is his next in command. I get it, but that doesn't matter. Neither one of the losers you guys hooked up with is anything but a loud-mouthed, loser, bully.

 

[Duranie]

I agree stop listening to the fathers. The grandparents here have NO rights at all. document everything and see an attorney. Dad keeping the children from you probably will not look good.