Noncustodial parent moved without notice

[lvn4him4life]

My childrens father moved from va to hawaii without telling me or the kids he was leaving. He sent me an e-mail saying he may be home mid january, however his mother (who he was living with prior to moving) says she kicked him out, and if he does come back it would be several months and just for a visit. He is living with his wifes family there in Hawaii. My question is we have joint legal custody, and I have sole physical, he has every other weekend visitation, and is about 10K behind in child support, I am curious is this abandonment? He also is able to claim our oldest child every year on taxes and I want this changed. I know I probably can`t do much as long as he is across the country, but can I have something done when he returns to va? Can I have rights taken away? This is the 2nd time he has moved to hawaii and the last time it was about a year and no c.s. was paid the entire time. The role it`s playing on my kids emotions and behavior is very obvious, can honestly it would be better for them if he would just stay gone, cause the inconsistancy of him in their lives isn`t what they need for a dad. Thanks in advanced for the help.

 

[Disabled Vet]

Military familys are apart for years at a time. It's up to the parent whom has the children to teach their children proper seperation. Even if it's lying to the kids. Daddy or Mommy is working far away and can't come to visit. Daddy or Mommy love you very much and it hurts them to be away from you. Even buying a birthday card giving it to the little ones as it came from daddy or mommy. Protect children at ALL COST from the mistake you and your ex have created. Enroll the children into a big brother/sister program. I believe 100% your the one that is playing havoc on their lifes by comments like " can honestly it would be better for them if he would just stay gone, cause the inconsistancy of him in their lives isn`t what they need for a dad" When I served in the military i would be gone 285 days a year.... my kids were so proud of me when I arrived home. It's because my wife was a GOOD PARENT and taught my children well. I couldn't send birthday cards, or call on birthdays etc... she would get a card mail it or have a family memeber call the kids pretending to be me when they were young. She provided the stable household for the kids. You see she wanted to protect the CHILDREN from all the bad stuff in life. You should learn this.....

As far as any legal stuff... I know notta :no: be there for your kids... Please they didn't ask you to marry or sleep with this guy. It was your choice to marry him and bring them into this world.

 

[lvn4him4life]

Thanks for your very incorrect opinion, but I am not on this site for a character judgement from a stranger. This is a legal advice site, so if that isn`t what you have then refrain from commenting, thanks. If you knew the whole situation or even bothered to ask questions to find out a little more about this situation then you would learn that your assumption is so far from reality. Thank you.

 

[lvn4him4life]

Oh and btw, when a military dad leaves it is for a reason, and he usually tells his children what is going on. Maybe reread the post and notice he moved there with no notice, for no reason, and to top it off I talked to him the night before he flew out, about the boys and our sons superbowl game (biggest game of his life) that was that coming up weekend, and he didn`t even bother to mention he was moving across the country the next day.

 

[army judge]

Madam, dad hasn't done anything to violate the custodial order.

He can choose to live where he wishes.

Unless the court order requires him to provide you with an address, that isn't even a violation.

The unpaid child support is an issue.

He can run, but he can't hide, even on an island in the Pacific Ocean located 3,000 or so mies west of California!

Dad probably has no intention of visiting the children.

Sadly, he's probably moved on for now.

Even sadder, unless the order is modified, dad could reappear after a two year absence; and still be allowed to have his visits.

I suggest you pass any information you have (or acquire) about dad's whereabouts to the child support authorities.

I'd keep pressing them to collect what they can and enforce the support order.

Have a merry Christmas and just be the best mother you can.

If I were you, I'd be glad this bum is so far away from my children.

 

[lvn4him4life]

Thanks, is there any type of violation if he isn`t getting them every other weekend as court ordered? I read va custody law that says he is to give 30 prior notice to the noncustodial parent as well as the courts, is this true?

 

[Proserpina]

No, he's not obliged to take the kids.

It's his right - not his obligation.

And seriously, even if he was required to give notice and didn't, nothing's going to happen to him.

 

[lvn4him4life]

If he comes home for a visit, can he file a motion to amend his visitation, and get them all summe, even if they are only 6&8? Would the courts allow them to fly alone across the country? Is there something that I can do before this was to happen that would prevent him from being able to do this?

 

[army judge]

If he comes home for a visit, can he file a motion to amend his visitation, and get them all summe, even if they are only 6&8? Would the courts allow them to fly alone across the country? Is there something that I can do before this was to happen that would prevent him from being able to do this?

Now why would this bum do any of those things?



He doesn't pay child support.

This deadbeat isn't going to spend his money to have the order modified.


Sure, a decent dad might do that, not a deadbeat.

You'd do that, if you were in his shoes.

But, remember what you said, he didn't visit them when he lived in the same town!



He's a bum.

Why, if he did manage to get the court order modified, he'd have to pay the transportation costs for your children.

Do you know it costs to fly to Hawaaii from Virginia for one person?

I guess its about a $2,000 for one ticket.

So, for two unaccompanied minors, it'll be at least $4,000.

Maybe more, not much less!!!!!

A bum like this can't get his hands on $400, much less $4,000!!!


A deadbeat like this bum isn't gonna spend that on someone's kids.

That's his dope money, honey!!!


He doesn't care about those kids.

He's got his new kids now.



He's got his new family and a new bed playmate!!!

What can you do?

Just be a good mom.

 

[Proserpina]

It's not a given that Dad will be held 100% responsible for all transportation costs even though he's created the distance.

(Perhaps not fair, but not impossible).

 

[lvn4him4life]

Thanks, I think I`m gonna at least seek to change the court order so that he doesn`t get to claim my oldest on taxes, and maybe see what can be done about c.s. if he ever does so back up in va.

 

[army judge]

It's not a given that Dad will be held 100% responsible for all transportation costs even though he's created the distance.

(Perhaps not fair, but not impossible).

The slug who masquerades as a dad isn't coming back to Virginia to see her kids!

That slug is sitting under a palm tree huffing and puffing on a "meth" pipe!